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Original Essays | June 22, 2009

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The Four Things That Matter Most: A Book about Living

by Ira Byock

The Four Things That Matter Most: A Book about Living Cover

Synopses & Reviews

Publisher Comments:

Four simple phrases — "Please forgive me," "I forgive you," "Thank you," and "I love you" — carry enormous power. In many ways, they contain the most powerful words in our language. These four phrases provide us with a clear path to emotional wellness; they guide us through the thickets of interpersonal difficulties to a conscious way of living that is full of integrity and grace.

In The Four Things That Matter Most, Dr. Ira Byock, an international leader in palliative care, teaches us how to practice these life-affirming words in our day-to-day lives. Too often we assume that the people we love really know we love them. Dr. Byock reveals the value of stating the obvious and provides insights into how we burden ourselves by hanging on to old grudges unconsciously and unnecessarily. He shows us how to avoid living with those awkward silences and uncomfortable issues that distance us from the people we love and erode our sense of well-being and joy. His insights and stories help us to forgive, appreciate, love, and celebrate one another more fully.

The inspiring stories in The Four Things That Matter Most demonstrate the usefulness of the Four Things in a wide range of life situations. They also show that a degree of emotional healing is always possible and that we can experience a sense of wholeness even in the wake of family strife, personal tragedy, divorce, or in the face of death. With practical wisdom and spiritual punch, The Four Things That Matter Most gives us the language and guidance to honor and experience what really matters most in our lives every day.

Review:

Caroline MyssAuthor of Sacred Contracts, Why People Don't Heal and How They Can, and Anatomy of the Spirit The Four Things That Matter Most is a book of commonsense wisdom that has the power to dynamically change your life. It is a pleasure to recommend a book that encourages you to transform the quality of your life in simple ways that actually work.

Review:

Zorba Paster, M.D.Author of The Longevity Code, host of public radio's Zorba Paster on Your Health, and host of the public television special How to Live a Long, Sweet Life The Four Things That Matter Most provides simple, insightful words and stories that move the heart and the soul. Dr. Byock shows us a graceful way to nurture relationships and heal those that need mending.

Review:

Larry Dossey, M.D. Author of Healing Beyond the Body, Reinventing Medicine, and Healing Words For anyone who believes that years of therapy are required for transforming relationships with others, this book will come as a pleasant surprise. Great wisdom has always been simple — that is why it is elusive — and great wisdom is what this book contains.

Review:

Joan Halifax, Ph.D.Author, Buddhist teacher, anthropologist, founder and director of Ojai Foundation, and founder, Upaya FoundationIra Byock's compassionate and important work in the field of dying has given him the four great treasures of love and freedom that all of us can use throughout our life. This wonderful book opens the doors to these jewels of compassion.

Review:

Zorba Paster, M.D.

Author of The Longevity Code, host of public radio's Zorba Paster on Your Health, and host of the public television special How to Live a Long, Sweet Life

The Four Things That Matter Most provides simple, insightful words and stories that move the heart and the soul. Dr. Byock shows us a graceful way to nurture relationships and heal those that need mending.

Synopsis:

In this life-altering book about what really matters in living every day, an internationally recognized leader in medicine delivers powerful, practical wisdom to transform and heal relationships.

About the Author

Ira Byock, M.D., is a leading palliative care physician and longtime public advocate for improving care through the end of life. He is past president of the Academy of Hospice and Palliative Medicine and cofounder of Life's End Institute: Missoula Demonstration Project, Inc., a community-based research and quality improvement organization focused on end-of-life experience and care. He heads the national Promoting Excellence in End-of-Life Care program for the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation. He is director of palliative medicine at Dartmouth Hitchcock Medical Center and a faculty member of Dartmouth School of Medicine. More information is available on www.TheFourThings.org.

Table of Contents

Contents

Part One: The Four Things

Chapter 1: Saying the Four Things

Chapter 2: The Healing Power of Words

Chapter 3: Completing Relationships

Chapter 4: Transformations

Part Two: Forgiveness

Chapter 5: Loved Ones Live On Inside Us

Chapter 6: Resolving a Legacy of Pain

Chapter 7: The Emotional Economics of Forgiveness

Chapter 8: Extreme Acts of Forgiveness

Chapter 9: Forgiving Yourself

Chapter 10: Living with Uncertainty and Illness

Part Three: Thank YouChapter 11: Practicing Gratitude

Chapter 12: The Unexpected Grace of Reconnection

Chapter 13: The Family Dynamics of Gratitude

Part Four: I Love You

Chapter 14: Creative Ways of Saying the Four Things

Chapter 15: Loving the Body

Chapter 16: Living Every Day as if It Were Your First — or Last

Chapter 17: Lives Intertwined with Love

Part Five: Good-bye

Chapter 18: Nothing Left Unsaid

Chapter 19: The Mysterious Magic of Some Good-byes

Chapter 20: Good-byes That Are Gifts Through Time

Chapter 21: Good-byes That Celebrate Life

Afterword: Reflections Before Good-bye

Acknowledgments

Index

Product Details

ISBN:
9780743249096
Subtitle:
A Book about Living
Author:
Byock, Ira
Author:
Byock, IRA
Publisher:
Free Press
Location:
New York
Subject:
General
Subject:
New Age (Self Help)
Subject:
Interpersonal Relations
Subject:
Mental & Spiritual Healing
Subject:
Conduct of life
Subject:
Interpersonal communication
Subject:
Healing - General
Subject:
Inspiration & Personal Growth
Subject:
Personal Growth - Happiness
Subject:
General Self-Help
Copyright:
Series Volume:
99/474
Publication Date:
January 2004
Binding:
Hardcover
Grade Level:
General/trade
Language:
English
Pages:
240
Dimensions:
9.02x5.58x.89 in. .81 lbs.

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