When does 1 + 1 = 3 (or more)? When you've got a baby on the way.

Part of that new math, says #1 New York Times bestselling author Jill Conner Browne — whom USA Today calls "just plain funny" — includes the addition of an outsize sense of humor to balance the equation of your growing family.

The Sweet Potato Queens' Guide to Raising Children for Fun and Profit is a hilarious (though not scientifically tested) wink at the time-honored mysteries of parenting, because anybody who has ever had a kid or has ever known one knows that the experience is neither fun nor profitable — so you might as well laugh!

As each generation begins its hopeful, happy, and, yes, sometimes harrowing journey as Parent and Child, together they spawn a new body of "knowledge," the nuances of which will elude the Experts every time. Here are stories of the things we do for Mother Love — or, the most incredibly full-time volunteer job ever — and tips guaranteed not to be found in any other parenting guide.

• How to talk to a pregnant woman
• How the diamonds on delivery policy can speed up the labor nature intended
• Why a good mother is always adept at subterfuge
• The list of things you wouldn't think you would have to tell kids not to do
• Why mothers of sons can never retire
• Why, for parents, it's just a short drive to the poorhouse

The Sweet Potato Queens' Guide to Raising Children for Fun and Profit will have everyone who's ever been a parent — or has ever thought of becoming one — or has ever been a child — or is still one — giggling and grinning (no small feat) through those childbearing years...and beyond.

Contents

Introduction: Hey, There!! Don't Skip This Part — It's Important! 1. Holy Shit! 2. Igmo Husbands 3. How to Talk to a Pregnant Woman 4. Past Your Due Date? 5. There Are Already Plenty of George Foremans 6. Baby Food 7. Life Is Hard Enough — Pledge Beta 8. Let's Eat! 9. Naps and Other Sleeping Opportunities 10. Brother's Keeper. Low Pay, Few Benefits 11. Penii 12. Potty Training 13. You Might Think It's Funny but It'snot 14. Find a Hole and Fill It 15. Loveys 16. Traveling with Kids 17. A Pulse Does Not a Babysitter Make 18. Kids' Parties 19. The Tooth Fairy and Other Skulduggery 20. Kids' Cussing 21. Sex Talk 22. Stranger Danger 23. Discipline, Values, and Remaining Unincarcerated 24. Manners Matter 25. It's Just a Short Drive to the Poorhouse 26. Housework Kills Plenty of People All the Time 27. More Play, Less Fray 28. Endings Acknowledgments