How does it work? Take a simple issue that comes up once or twice a week: Should I call in sick? Fill in the variables honestly, such as D for doctor's note (enter 1 for "no," 10 for "yes," and 5 for "yes, but it's a forgery"), R for importance of job (1-10, with 10 being "personally responsible for Earth's orbit around Sun"), Fj for how much fun you have at work (1-10, with 10 being "personal trainer for underwear models"), N for how much you need the money (1-10, with 10 being "I owe the mob"), then do the math, and voilà — if the product, Hooky, is greater than 1, enjoy your very own Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

Includes a pocket calculator so that prospective geeks can immediately solve the equation on the back cover: Should I buy this book?

and#8212;Will Shortz, Crossword Editor, The New York Times

The and#8220;trueand#8221; story of geek researchers and their race for an algebraic cure for social awkwardness.

Remember Algebra? 8

If algebra sounds like a spicy Middle Eastern food, start with this chapter. These simple steps are all you will need to solve the equations of this bookand#8212;why didnand#8217;t they tell you it was this easy in junior high?

Dating and Romance 11

Do you have a snowballand#8217;s chance in hell with her? Should you become a monk? These and other equations provide the guidance every geek needs to survive interactions with the fairer sex.

Career and Finance 47

You could do your job with your eyes closedand#8212;itand#8217;s the rules of office culture that might as well be written in Swahili. Should you let the boss win? Should you become intimate with a coworker? Do you dare run for public office? Run the numbers to find out.

Everyday Decisions and Health 81

Sometimes the geek scale of fitness, personal grooming, and mental stability are slightly askew from that of society at large. You may be able to calculate the potential for life on Mars, but what about the probability of life in that macaroni and cheese you exhumed from the back of the fridge? This section helps geeks tie up the loose ends of their lives.