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Mountain Man Dance Moves: The McSweeney's Book of Lists
by John Warner
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Synopses & Reviews If a mountain man felt compelled to dance, how would he do it? If koala bears could talk, what would they say? And what's the right pickup line, if you're a necrophiliac? (Maybe "I'm pretty sure I'm not going to get you pregnant.") In the throes of debates like these, we're lucky to have the learned people of McSweeney's Internet Tendency, America's best low-budget humor website, and their edifying work. From their best-looking writers comes this collection of over three hundred lists, including... "Signs Your Unicorn Is Cheating on You." "Errors in Communication Between My Hairdresser and Me, in the Form of What I Said and What He Heard" "Things This City Was Built On, Besides Rock 'n' Roll" "Things This One Girl Sitting Near Me in a Movie Theater Said Out Loud When One of the Characters Was Shown Pulling Into a Gas Station" "Future Winners of the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest" "Adjectives Rarely Used by Wine Tasters" "The Collected Apologies of Lawrence H. Summers, President of Harvard" "Exactly What I Mean When I Say My Ex-Girlfriend Kristin and I 'Wanted Different Things from Life'" And much, much more... Review: "Teens will appreciate the wide-ranging social satire and find the lists entertaining and often quotable." School Library Journal Synopsis: This collection culls several hundred lists, compiled by their most luminous writers, from McSweeney's vast archives, and adds a good deal of new material.
About the Author McSweeney's is a small group that sells taxidermy equipment and also produces books, a literary quarterly, and The Believer, a monthly review. Based in San Francisco, McSweeney's is also home to 826 Valencia, a nonprofit educational center for Bay Area youth.
Product Details
- ISBN:
- 9780307277206
- Subtitle:
- The McSweeney's Book of Lists
- Author:
- Warner, John
- Manufactured:
- McSweeney's
- Editor:
- Editors of McSweeney's
- Editor:
- McSweeney's Books
- Author:
- Friendliness<br><br> Sipping a Demitasse o’
- Author:
- Negotiation<br><br> Checking the Date on a Carton o’
- Author:
- Hallucinating for the entirety of 1999 that we were characters in a classic Beach Boys song.”
- Author:
- mashes it.<br><br> Burned-out rock star looks down at himself during out-of-body experience
- Author:
- Bartlett’
- Author:
- s’
- Author:
- Dead, It’
- Author:
- The Bong, It’
- Author:
- s What I Would Die 4”
- Author:
- Alles, It’
- Author:
- s Detachable”
- Author:
- FOR THE LESS CONFRONTATIONALLY INCLINED<br><br> by Ian Carey<br><br> Unsnapping a Purse o’
- Author:
- Retreat<br><br> Applying a Beechwood Veneer to a Hutch o’
- Author:
- S FOR DINNER”
- Author:
- drinks Scotch
- Author:
- The month we couldn’
- Author:
- Back, It’
- Author:
- Penis, It’
- Author:
- uses nearby backhoe to drain pond.<br><br> Woman who married for wealth rather than love looks at photo on driver’
- Author:
- The Street, It’
- Author:
- Politeness<br><br> Decanting a Carafe o’
- Author:
- t move because we were so weak with hunger.”
- Author:
- Bigger, It’
- Author:
- bod in shape, you know what I mean? And you learn to swim—
- Author:
- s What Hits Are From”
- Author:
- And, don’
- Author:
- re entitled to half the royalties. Just ask him. I have my hunch, but I’
- Author:
- s Pumped Up”
- Author:
- br><br> by Geoff Smith<br><br> “
- Author:
- t Nothing Ta Fuck Wit’
- Author:
- s Burning Down”
- Author:
- Diplomacy<br><br> Refrigerating the Tupperware o’
- Author:
- Of course, everybody has to go through boot camp . . .<br><br> you get checked in and you get threaded out.”
- Author:
- London, It’
- Author:
- McSweeney's
- Author:
- refuses to go back in body “
- Author:
- until we start seeing some changes around here, mister.”
- Author:
- U, It’
- Author:
- s eye.”
- Author:
- s What Another One Bites”
- Author:
- m sure his legal opinion counts for a lot more. Go on, call Stanley. If you need me, I’
- Author:
- Thoughtfulness<br><br> Gently Folding a Napkin o’
- Author:
- Contrition<br><br> Unzipping a Fanny Pack o’
- Author:
- Disappearance<br><br> PROPOSED NICKNAMES FOR THE TODAY SHOW’
- Author:
- The Volume, It’
- Author:
- The Dust, It’
- Author:
- s What Ain’
- Author:
- By the Editors of McSweeney's
- Author:
- Me, It’
- Author:
- ber”
- Author:
- s for Leaning On”
- Author:
- 2006 by McSweeney's
- Author:
- Avoidance<br><br> Lightly Greasing a Ramekin o’
- Author:
- When the kid peeked over the lip of the hole and then ran off and never came back, he almost slipped and fell in also. The look in his eyes, oh man!”
- Author:
- The insects.”
- Author:
- Wu-Tang Clan, It’
- Author:
- br><br> Aging supermodel has plaster cast made of face
- Author:
- Hiding<br><br> Cleaning out a Drawer o’
- Author:
- John Bartlett<br><br> “
- Author:
- When the buzzard came down and ate that dead rat’
- Author:
- yeah, swim, man, you dig?”
- Author:
- s No Sleep Till”
- Author:
- You don’
- Author:
- s What California’
- Author:
- Let’
- Author:
- #8221
- Author:
- Temperance<br><br> Unscrewing a Thermos o’
- Author:
- s What’
- Author:
- s What There’
- Author:
- goes to DMV to ask for new photo.<br><br> Politician who has forsaken his grassroots values discovers potato in shape of own head
- Author:
- br><br> THINGS THIS CITY WAS BUILT ON BESIDES ROCK ’
- Author:
- s license
- Author:
- OPENING A CAN O’
- Author:
- backs over it in SUV.<br><br> Alcoholic author looks at reflection in a tumbler of Scotch
- Author:
- N’
- Author:
- on the cover. Singular possessive, mind you. Note where the apostrophe is. Ask him if he thinks you’
- Author:
- t have to go alone. The navy has what they call the buddy system. Where you and a friend from home can join the navy together. And that’
- Author:
- Caution<br><br> Serving an Aperitif o’
- Author:
- re getting paid all the time, you understand?”
- Author:
- s What Baby Got”
- Author:
- Mrs. Bartlett, world- renowned nag. Year: 1859. Attribution: A short play entitled Every Goddamn Weekend.”
- Author:
- br><br> EXCERPTS FROM AN ACTUAL 1970 VIETNAM-ERA NAVY-RECRUITMENT FILM TARGETING BLACK AMERICANS, NARRATED BY LOU RAWLS<br><br> by Angelo Young<br><br> “
- Author:
- s for Dancing In”
- Author:
- #8212
- Author:
- ll be in bed.”
- Author:
- t forget, you’
- Author:
- s What Some Girls Are Than Others”
- Author:
- uses telekinetic powers to bend it until it snaps in two.<br><br> Actress who clawed her way to the top catches reflection in pond
- Author:
- John Bartlett<br><br> PUNCH LINES THAT WOULD ONLY SEEM FUNNY TO YOU AND THE GUY YOU JUST SPENT THE LAST TEN YEARS WITH IN A PIT<br><br> by Mike Sacks<br><br> “
- Author:
- s What Ed Is”
- Author:
- br><br> “
- Author:
- Of course, you have to get the ol’
- Author:
- By the Editors of McSweeney's
- Author:
- s Calling”
- Author:
- The sun that time.”
- Author:
- Brooklyn, It’
- Author:
- s get serious now. The past ten years have been a hell of a ride, bro. Good times.”
- Author:
- The House, It’
- Author:
- s a gas.”
- Author:
- s Ü
- Author:
- WHUPASS”
- Author:
- BEEF, IT’
- Author:
- Right. Well, you call him and talk about it. Hey, and when you bring it up, ask him about the ‘
- Author:
- S BEEF BOARD AD CAMPAIGN “
- Publisher:
- Vintage Books USA
- Subject:
- General
- Copyright:
- 2006
- Series:
- Vintage
- Publication Date:
- September 2006
- Binding:
- Paperback
- Language:
- English
- Illustrations:
- Y
- Pages:
- 216
- Dimensions:
- 7.98x5.24x.59 in. .54 lbs.
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