Boys Will Be Men: Raising Our Sons for Courage, Caring & Community

While the women's liberation movement produced dynamic changes in society's assumptions about girls'roles, little has changed about our attitude toward the role of boys. Yet the cycle of violence and oppression, specifically that which is killing so many young people and especially boys, will not stop until boys are raised to become part of the struggle to end it.

Drawing on his decades of experience as a social activist and his anti-violence work with men and teens, Kivel challenges the traditional training boys receive. He sorts out and helps parents grapple with the complex forces in our sons'lives, including racism, homophobia, pornography, drugs, classism, consumerism, sex, and living in violent environments. Then, Kivel provides the practical tools to empower boys to take the courageous step out of the "act like a man" box and become allies to themselves, each other, and all those who are vulnerable to violence and injustice in our society. The end result gives the reader a powerful vision of raising our sons to be the critically thinking, socially-invested men we need for a multicultural and democratic society.

Boys will Be Menis for all parents who have a vision of a society where peace and justice exist; for parents raising their sons in economically disadvantaged communities; for feminists who feel confused about raising their sons, and for parents of color who need to add their sons'strength to their communities.

Paul Kivelis the author of Men's Work(1998, Ballantine) and Uprooting Racism(1996, New Society Publishers, 0-86571-338-3). He is the founder of the nationally recognized Oakland's Men's Project and has conducted hundreds of workshops on racism and anti-violence for teens and men all over the country. He lives with his partner and their daughter and two sons in Oakland, California.

Table of Contents

INTRODUCTION

What Kind of Boys Do We Want To Raise?

Why Boys

What Do Men Stand For?

Boys Will Be Men

Question Everything

PART 1: PARENTING

Chapter 1: Male Socialization

How Different Are Boys and Girls?

Gender as a Social Construction

The "Act Like a Man" Box

What Kind of Men