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1 Burnside Reference- Etiquette

Essential Manners for Men: What to Do, When to Do It, and Why

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Essential Manners for Men: What to Do, When to Do It, and Why Cover

ISBN13: 9780060539801
ISBN10: 0060539801
Condition: Standard
Dustjacket: Standard
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Synopses & Reviews

Publisher Comments:

Chapter One The Top Three Issues in Daily Life

The art of etiquette really comes down to being thoughtful of the other people you encounter in your everyday life. We all tend to associate "proper behavior" with formal social events — but true etiquette involves behaving with respect and consideration for others in everything that you do, from attending a high-society soiree to simply hanging out around the house.

In fact, daily life is where men tend to run into more trouble than anywhere else. When the 750 women who responded to our recent Post Survey came to the question "What are the most annoying things men do in their daily lives?" we got quite an earful.

Here's a summary of the three main areas that our female respondents identified as their top hot-button issues when it comes to men and their everyday behavior: Manners Matter

Opening doors. Putting down the toilet seat. Being on time. Not spitting. Taking off your hat indoors. Saying "Please" and "Thank you." Trying to be discreet and quiet when blowing your nose. These and other niceties may seem trivial to many men, but here's the scoop: it all matters. When you don't use the manners that people have come to expect — failing to open the door for a woman, for instance — it's not simply a sign that you're clueless; it shows a lack of consideration. That's what bothers women about men who don't have manners.

This brings us back to the essential guiding principle of this book: Good manners are not a matter of simply "following the rules." What's important is the reason underlying the desired behavior. Etiquette is about being considerate and honest with others. Manners matter, because manners are really aboutshowing respect for another person. We hold the door for a woman not because there's a rule that says we should, but because it is an act of kindness and a way to make the woman you're with feel special. When you act in this spirit, she will know it and appreciate you for it. If you hold the door just because "that's the rule," she'll see right through you. Helping Out Matters — A Lot

Here's a simple technique for driving a woman nuts: take the dishes to the sink — and then just leave them there. As one of our female respondents put it, "If you can carry them to the sink, why can't you take the time to put them in the dishwasher???"

According to the Post Survey, when it comes to helping out around the house, the modern male still has a long way to go. Those men who do help out at home scored higher in the category of "pleasing things that men do in their daily lives" than anything else, and by a wide margin. These men are role models for us all: they do the dishes, they do chores — without being asked. They do the "manly" jobs like washing the car, mowing the lawn, taking out the garbage — but they also help clean the house and do the laundry, and they don't leave a mess for someone else to pick up later. They clean up the counter and put away the fixings before they eat the sandwich they just made. They buy flowers "just because," or call her at work just to ask how she's doing. They give her compliments, unprompted. They hold hands. These guys are really good.

Why do women appreciate it so much? As our survey revealed, women perceive helping out as more than simply a matter of men doing their "assigned" chores or showing a little kindness. It's a matter of voluntarilytaking responsibility and sharing the load. Being Inconsiderate and Being Disrespectful Go Hand in Hand

Staring at other women. Talking down to women. Ignoring their opinions. Interrupting. Not introducing them. Simply ignoring them altogether. Walking several steps ahead of her rather than beside her. The Post Survey found that women don't simply view these behaviors as being rude or inconsiderate — to women, they represent a fundamental lack of personal respect.

To be fair, most men's "inconsiderate" or "disrespectful" behavior is not intentional. Men frequently get lost in their thoughts and go to far-off places in their minds without even realizing the journey has started, or considering the consequences. That's when they get into trouble.

Consider the issue of looking at another attractive woman who happens to cross your path. I do this unconsciously, I admit. But when my eyes stop looking at my wife's, and my attention shifts away just as she is making an important point, she views this as a case of my not being attentive to her. And she's right — my attention has wandered. Whenever a man "switches off" his thinking or wanders off on a mind journey, he runs the risk of looking inconsiderate and, by extension, disrespectful.

On a personal note, it scares me when I see what I've just written because I see some of myself in this description, and unfortunately it's not the good part. How long has it been since I made the bed in the morning? Why didn't I do those dishes from last night's dinner that were piled in the sink? After all, she made dinner. The least I could have done was clean up afterward. And I can't remember the last time I bought my wife flowers. Instead,I've been heard at the supermarket bemoaning the fact that she's picking out flowers and buying them for herself. Talk about clueless!

Now, I'm not "all bad. I do clean any dishes still left in the sink each morning. I do remember to leave the toilet seat down. And I make coffee every morning and bring it to my wife in bed ...

Review:

"Overall, Post appears to have exchanged the mystique of manners for business-casual rules of thumb. Many men might welcome this exchange..." Publishers Weekly

Synopsis:

Short and shoot-from-the-hip honest; this book helps men make the right decisions about what to do and say in every situation that counts.

Synopsis:

< p> < i> Essential Manners for Men< /i> helps men make the right decisions about what to do and say in every situation that counts. Peter Post, great-grandson of Emily Post, distills the essential information men need for all the important roles they play in life. < /p> < p> Organized into three parts — Daily Life, Social Life, and On the Job — < i> Essential Manners for Men< /i> resolves situations that can stump even the savviest. Peter Post's advice is sharp-witted and sensible, with tips, boxes, and candid anecdotes about his own etiquette blunders. Topics include: < /p> < p> < ul type=disc> < li> The most important behaviors to avoid and emulate at the gym, at work, on the golf course, at home, out with friends, at a business social event, and a child's ball game< /li> < /p> < p> < li> Tipping, driver's ed-iquette, introductions, sportsmanship, and parenting< /li> < /p> < p> < li> Successfully sharing living spaces with a roommate, significant other, or spouse — from the toilet seat to the remote control to the kitchen sink< /li> < /p> < p> < li> How to throw a great party or be the perfect guest< /li> < /p> < p> < li> How to successfully navigate the business dinner< /li> < /p> < p> < li> Things men do wrong that make women wince, and things men do right that women love< /li> < /p> < p> < li> The five-step process to resolve any situation where there is no etiquette rule< /li> < /ul> < /p> < p> Short and shoot-from-the-hip honest, < i> Essential Manners for Men< /i> isa book no man can afford to be without. < /p>

Synopsis:

Essential Manners for Men helps men make the right decisions about what to do and say in every situation that counts. Peter Post, great-grandson of Emily Post, distills the essential information men need for all the important roles they play in life.

Organized into three parts — "Daily Life," "Social Life," and "On the Job" — Essential Manners for Men resolves situations that can stump even the savviest. Peter Post's advice is sharp-witted and sensible, with tips, boxes, and candid anecdotes about his own etiquette blunders. Topics include:

  • The most important behaviors to avoid and emulate at the gym, at work, on the golf course, at home, out with friends, at a business social event, and a child's ball game
  • Tipping, driver's "ed-iquette," introductions, sportsmanship, and parenting
  • Successfully sharing living spaces with a roommate, significant other, or spouse — from the toilet seat to the remote control to the kitchen sink
  • How to throw a great party or be the perfect guest
  • How to successfully navigate the business dinner
  • Things men do wrong that make women wince, and things men do right that women love
  • The five-step process to resolve any situation where there is no etiquette "rule"

Short and shoot-from-the-hip honest, Essential Manners for Men is a book no man can afford to be without.

About the Author

Peter Post, a director of the Emily Post Institute and the coauthor of The Etiquette Advantage in Business, conducts business etiquette seminars for companies across the country. He gives hundreds of media interviews annually, including Crossfire, Weekend Today, Dateline, Wall Street Journal, USA Today, and The New York Times. The father of two grown daughters, he lives with his wife in Vermont.

What Our Readers Are Saying

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Average customer rating based on 1 comment:

lauramc306, January 11, 2007 (view all comments by lauramc306)
Peter Post is amazing he is one of the very few men to admit he is sometimes wrong, disrespectful towards women. KUDOS!!! this book is very good i might have to buy one for every man in my family!
Was this comment helpful? | Yes | No
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Product Details

ISBN:
9780060539801
Author:
Post, Peter
Publisher:
William Morrow & Company
Author:
by Peter Post
Location:
New York
Subject:
Etiquette
Subject:
Interpersonal Relations
Subject:
Personal & Practical Guides
Subject:
Etiquette for men
Subject:
REFERENCE / Etiquette
Copyright:
Edition Number:
1st ed.
Edition Description:
Hardcover
Series Volume:
107-787
Publication Date:
October 21, 2003
Binding:
HARDCOVER
Grade Level:
from 7
Language:
English
Illustrations:
Yes
Pages:
224
Dimensions:
8.48x5.80x.85 in. .86 lbs.
Age Level:
from 12

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Related Subjects


Featured Titles » Literature
Health and Self-Help » Child Care and Parenting » General
Health and Self-Help » Self-Help » Relationships
History and Social Science » Politics » General
Reference » Etiquette
Reference » General

Essential Manners for Men: What to Do, When to Do It, and Why Used Hardcover
0 stars - 0 reviews
$5.50 In Stock
Product details 224 pages HarperResource - English 9780060539801 Reviews:
"Review" by , "Overall, Post appears to have exchanged the mystique of manners for business-casual rules of thumb. Many men might welcome this exchange..."
"Synopsis" by , Short and shoot-from-the-hip honest; this book helps men make the right decisions about what to do and say in every situation that counts.
"Synopsis" by , < p> < i> Essential Manners for Men< /i> helps men make the right decisions about what to do and say in every situation that counts. Peter Post, great-grandson of Emily Post, distills the essential information men need for all the important roles they play in life. < /p> < p> Organized into three parts — Daily Life, Social Life, and On the Job — < i> Essential Manners for Men< /i> resolves situations that can stump even the savviest. Peter Post's advice is sharp-witted and sensible, with tips, boxes, and candid anecdotes about his own etiquette blunders. Topics include: < /p> < p> < ul type=disc> < li> The most important behaviors to avoid and emulate at the gym, at work, on the golf course, at home, out with friends, at a business social event, and a child's ball game< /li> < /p> < p> < li> Tipping, driver's ed-iquette, introductions, sportsmanship, and parenting< /li> < /p> < p> < li> Successfully sharing living spaces with a roommate, significant other, or spouse — from the toilet seat to the remote control to the kitchen sink< /li> < /p> < p> < li> How to throw a great party or be the perfect guest< /li> < /p> < p> < li> How to successfully navigate the business dinner< /li> < /p> < p> < li> Things men do wrong that make women wince, and things men do right that women love< /li> < /p> < p> < li> The five-step process to resolve any situation where there is no etiquette rule< /li> < /ul> < /p> < p> Short and shoot-from-the-hip honest, < i> Essential Manners for Men< /i> isa book no man can afford to be without. < /p>
"Synopsis" by , Essential Manners for Men helps men make the right decisions about what to do and say in every situation that counts. Peter Post, great-grandson of Emily Post, distills the essential information men need for all the important roles they play in life.

Organized into three parts — "Daily Life," "Social Life," and "On the Job" — Essential Manners for Men resolves situations that can stump even the savviest. Peter Post's advice is sharp-witted and sensible, with tips, boxes, and candid anecdotes about his own etiquette blunders. Topics include:

  • The most important behaviors to avoid and emulate at the gym, at work, on the golf course, at home, out with friends, at a business social event, and a child's ball game
  • Tipping, driver's "ed-iquette," introductions, sportsmanship, and parenting
  • Successfully sharing living spaces with a roommate, significant other, or spouse — from the toilet seat to the remote control to the kitchen sink
  • How to throw a great party or be the perfect guest
  • How to successfully navigate the business dinner
  • Things men do wrong that make women wince, and things men do right that women love
  • The five-step process to resolve any situation where there is no etiquette "rule"

Short and shoot-from-the-hip honest, Essential Manners for Men is a book no man can afford to be without.

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