Seducing the Boys Club: Uncensored Tactics from a Woman at the Top

Fact #1: Forty years after the feminist revolution, fewer than 2 percent of Fortune 1000 CEOs are women.

Fact #2: The playing field is not level.

Fact #3: You need to get over this.

From the woman who became chairman of the flagship office of the largest advertising agency network in the world comes a wry reality check on how to get ahead and thrive in the testosterone-driven business arena.

Nina DiSesa is a master communicator, a ceiling crasher, and one of the most successful women in the corporate world. She is also a big-time realist who has figured out that S&M–seduction and manipulation–is the secret to winning over (and surpassing) the big guys. In Seducing the Boys Club, DiSesa shows that you can, in fact, leave your male colleagues in the dust–but not by following the rules you learned in business school.

By playing the roles of den mother, fraternity brother, little sister, and hard-nosed boss, DiSesa navigated the choppy, macho-minded waters of the workplace. All the “bad boys” in her life–and there are many–have provided a wealth of devilishly amusing stories and cautionary tales that DiSesa is only too happy to pass on. Ah, revenge can be sweet, but the truth is that she came to love those boys as much as they love her–which is the whole point.

DiSesa asserts that women need to meld their feminine characteristics (nurturing, compassion, listening) with the traits of their male counterparts (competitiveness, decisiveness, combativeness) to expand their professional horizons. In Seducing the Boys Club, DiSesa shares her practical, outrageous, and even controversial maxims for making it, including:

• Learn to appreciate men. Men like women who like them.

• Remember that women are biologically wired to succeed.

• If you want to make a name for yourself, find a mess and fix it. A secure and comfortable job only holds you back.

• Dont assume that men never listen. They listen like a dog does.

• Dont be a quiet achiever.

• Act brave and you will look brave.

• Screw the rules. Make up your own.

Whether dead-on funny or deadly serious, DiSesa is always on her game, always on message, and absolutely on target as she arms women with the can-do confidence and no-compromises attitude they need to climb as high as their ambition can carry them–while keeping their standards impeccable and their integrity intact. Not for women only, this book should be read by men, too . . . though it wont give them any defense against a woman who can truly seduce a boys club!

"Chairman of McCann Erickson New York, part of one of the largest advertising networks in the world, DiSesa delivers a one-on-one mentoring session on working with, competing against and managing both men and women. Confirming that her nature is to nurture, she is thoughtful and confessional as DiSesa looks back at how she learned to defy her own bad habits — including in-office meltdowns — and to substitute charm in their stead. DiSesa also readily shares insights gained from such nongender-based blunders as letting clients take a break in the middle of a presentation (the clients failed to return to the conference room). Though she refers to manipulating and seducing and learning to exhibit 'male' behavior throughout, DiSesa's hard work, talent and insight into human nature appear to be the real drivers behind her success. That DiSesa has managed to package her experiences into accessible form creates a welcome opportunity for both women and men hoping to duplicate her success." Publishers Weekly (Copyright Reed Business Information, Inc.)

"Advertising executive Nina DiSesa believes that women are superior creatures forever having to prove their worth. For this, the boys must pay — and pay and pay.

By any measure, DiSesa has succeeded in a male-dominated profession. She is chairman of advertising giant McCann Erickson New York, and in 'Seducing the Boys Club' she pledges to teach women how to use seduction and 'benevolent... Washington Post Book Review (read the entire Washington Post review) manipulation' to control those pesky men in corporate America. By the end of her story, though, she resembles the kind of man she claims to have conquered. This is not so much a how-to manual as a cautionary tale.

In DiSesa's world, men are vain, malleable knuckle-draggers who don't even know how clueless they are, making it all the easier to 'seduce them without sex and manipulate them without malice.' If you're squeamish about using the word 'manipulation,' not to worry. Just call it 'invisible persuasion.' She promises they'll never notice.

DiSesa traffics in contradictions. Women should use their female wiles — flirting is one of their greatest 'weapons' — but should tap into their male sides, too. Men only like women who like men, but if a woman finds her authority over them dwindling, she should immediately 'sacrifice one or two so that (she) can save the herd.' And the best way for a woman to assert herself with the guy who tells awful sex jokes at work is not to fire him. Instead, laugh before his punch line or, better yet, on the punch line. That's how she doused the flame on the guy who liked to tell jokes about gerbils and anal sex. 'It wasn't fun for him anymore, but it had become a real hoot for me.'

DiSesa is brimming with attitude meant to prove she can hold her own with the guys. She likes profanity, especially one particular expletive, in all its variations. Entire paragraphs read like a middle schooler's blog. She also chooses odd anecdotes to illustrate her toughness. She had a heck of a time, for example, with the male employees she dubbed 'the Bad Boys.' Oh, those hooligans, banging their pool cues on her ceiling after she was nice enough to have a pool table installed in their conference room, breaking light fixtures in the halls and 'terrorizing the young women.' After her high-powered water rifle failed to tame them, she was desperate. So she went drinking with them and got plowed.

'That you were willing to wade into our world and even participate ... earned you a hell of a lot of respect,' one of the 'boys' told her later. 'I remember how drunk you got with us one time. ... We sent you home in a taxi at eight-thirty that night. ... Your husband was so mad at us. You were Mom, but you were Cool Mom, and we were the unruly teens feeling our oats.'

The shame is that DiSesa has some great advice that is eclipsed by her me-and-the-boys bravado. Among the gems:

Watch out for 'instant supporters' at your new job. They are 'either the best or the worst of the bunch, and it might not be clear which is which.'

'If you want to make a name for yourself, find a mess and fix it.'

'Always yell up or across, never down. It's unfair to yell at people who have no defense against you.'

Ultimately, though, DiSesa undermines her own good intentions. In a revealing passage, she admits to sharing employees' comments about one another, but only after editing the quotes to deceive them into thinking they are liked by the very people who loathe them. All in the name of productivity, understand. 'I'm not exactly lying when I do this,' she writes. 'I'm just not telling the whole truth. This is allowed under my personal code of ethics.'

That, in a nutshell, is what's wrong with this book and its author. Her ethics are as malleable as a fresh wad of Play-Doh, and about as palatable. To quote DiSesa, 'If you want to become a jerk, life will offer you ample opportunities to achieve your goal.'"

Reviewed by Connie Schultz, a columnist for the Plain Dealer/Creators Syndicate and the author of ' ... and His Lovely Wife', Washington Post Book World (Copyright 2006 Washington Post Book World Service/Washington Post Writers Group)
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From the woman who became chair of the flagship office of the largest advertising agency network in the world comes a wry reality check on how to get ahead and thrive in the testosterone-driven business arena.

Nina DiSesa has worked in the quintessential boys clubs of advertising for almost thirty years. In 1994, she became the first woman EVP, Executive Creative Director for McCann Erickson New York, the flagship office of the largest advertising agency in the world. Under her creative leadership, the New York office enjoyed an unprecedented 5-year growth period adding almost $2.5 billion in billings. In 1998, she was made Chairman as well as Chief Creative Officer of McCann New York. She was the first woman and first creative director to be named chairman in the McCann global network.

In 1999, Nina was chosen by Fortune magazine as one of the “50 Most Powerful Women in American Business.” In 2005, she received the Matrix Award, given each year to a select group of women in communication. In 2007, she was inducted into the Hall of Fame for CEBA (Creative Excellence in Business Advertising).

Nina and her husband live in an apartment in NYC and escape to their 45-acre horse farm in Dutchess County, New York.