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When Dad Hurts Mom: Helping Your Children Heal the Wounds of Witnessing Abuseby Lundy Bancroft
Synopses & Reviews
Each new day.
One new meditation.
One new step forward.
Even if youve read Why Does He Do That?, it may be hard to see the truth of what is happening to you. You may feel overwhelmed by confusion, loss, and fear, and find yourself looking away from the truth and falling back into traumatic patterns.
What you need is something that is there for you every day—to help you make a long series of little changes that will ultimately add up to a big one.
Like a constant friend, this collection of meditations is a source of strength and reassurance designed to speak to women like you, women in relationships with angry and controlling men. It helps you to digest what is happening a piece at a time, so that you can gain clarity, safety, and freedom.
To learn to value and respect yourself—even when your partner makes it very clear that he does not—each day centers on one of seven themes designed to empower, encourage, and inspire you . . .
Each New Day * Clarity * Your Own Best Friend * Your Relationships * Healing * Guiding Children * Surviving to Thrive
You will see the truth in your destructive relationship.
You and your children will survive.
And—with these encouragements—even tomorrow will be a better day than today.
Can my partner abuse me and still be a good parent? Should I stay with my partner for my children's sake? How should I talk to my children about the abuse and help them heal? Am I a bad mother?
Mothers in physically or emotionally abusive relationships ask themselves these questions every day. Here, a counselor reveals how abusers interact with and manipulate children-and how mothers can help their children recover from the trauma of witnessing abuse.
This book, the first ever of its kind, shows mothers how to:
In this groundbreaking book, a leading expert on domestic abuse and its effects turns his unique perspective on the littlest victims of spousal abuse--the children. More than two-thirds of abused women have children, and the overwhelming majority of those children witness one or more incidents of violence. And that number would be even greater if we include children who have watched their mothers be verbally abused and intimidated. Studies have shown that children's exposure to domestic abuse is linked to virtually every category of emotional and behavioral problems. When Dad Hurts Mom offers comfort, understanding, and a concrete plan of action to any woman concerned about the distress being caused to her children by her angry, controlling, or abusive partner. Written for mothers, this book aims to enlighten women about the effects of abuse on children, how an abusive partner distorts familial relationships, and what can be done about it. Abused mothers are desperately seeking guidance on how to help their children heal from the abuse they witness. This is the first book to provide these women with the insight, support, and, most important, the solutions they need. Resources. Index.
About the Author
Lundy Bancroft has spent over 17 years specializing in abusive men and also acts as a custody advisor. He is the author of Why Does He Do That? and The Batterer as Parent, as well as articles in medical journals and professional books. The former co-director of Emerge, the nation's first counseling program for abusive men, he now practices in Massachuesetts while training various state and judicial agencies in working with domestic abuse.
Table of Contents
When Dad Hurts Mom Preface
One: Partner Abuse Through Children's Eyes and Ears
Part I: The Abusive Man and Your Children
Two: The Abusive Mindset and Children
Three: Abusive Men as Parents
Four: Understanding Your Children's Inner World
Five: Protecting your Children's Boundaries
Part II: The Abusive Man and Family Dynamics
Six: A Weekend with the Abbott Family
Seven: Defending Your Role as Mother
Eight: Maintaining Healthy Dynamics in Your Family
Nine: To Leave or Not to Leave
Ten: Dealing with Child Protective Services
Part III: The Abusive Man and Your Children Post-Separation
Eleven: What Separation and Divorce Mean for Your Children
Twelve: Abusive Men as post-Separation Parents
Thirteen: making your Way in the Family Court System
Part IV: Children Moving Forward
Fourteen: Helping Your Children Heal
Fifteen: Empowering your Children
Sixteen: Stopping the Cycle of Abuse
Hearing the Personal Accounts of Abused Mothers
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