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I'll Mature When I'm Dead: Dave Barry's Amazing Tales of Adulthoodby Dave Barry
Synopses & Reviews
A dark comic masterpiece—the first solo adult novel in more than a decade from the Pulitzer Prize winner and New York Times–bestselling author.
Seth Weinstein knew Tina was way out of his league in pretty much any way you could imagine, which is why it continued to astonish him that he was on the plane now for their destination wedding in Florida. The Groom Posse had already sprung an airport prank on him, and he’d survived it, and if that was the worst of it, everything should be okay. Smooth sailing from now on.
Seth has absolutely no idea what he’s about to get into. In the next several hours, he and his friends will become embroiled with rioters, Russian gangsters, angry strippers, a pimp as big as the Death Star, a very desperate Haitian refugee on the run with her two children from some very bad men, and an eleven-foot albino Burmese python named Blossom. And there’re still two days to go before the wedding.
As it turns out, it’s not smooth sailing, it’s more like a trip on the Titanic. And the water below him is getting deeper every minute. By the end, amid gunfire, high-speed chases, and
mayhem of the most unimaginable sort, violent men will fall, heroes will rise, and many lives will change.
Seth’s, not least of all.
If theres one thing that New York Times bestselling author and Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist Dave Barry is an expert on, its raising a daughter.
which means hes not an expert on much considering the breadth of his knowledge on that subject fills only a single chapter of a book. However, what Dave Barry is good at is giving unsolicited advice on topics hes definitively not an expert on. In fact, he now has an entire book filled with guidance on things he knows nothing about, including: surviving in the wild, wooing women, cremation, maintaining a scintillating conversation, Justin Bieber, the U.S. Postal Service, enduring the TSA, the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, and, most obviously, being a professional author.
With trademark wit and unmatched insight into the insanity of everyday life, Dave Barry presents a series of hilarious, never-before-published essays on the trials and tribulations of living and laughing in the modern age.
Adam Resnick, an Emmy Award-winning writer for NBCs Late Night with David Letterman, has spent his entire life trying to avoid interaction with people. While courageously admitting to being euphorically antisocial” and sick in the head,” he allows us to plunge even deeper into his troubled psyche in this unabashedly uproarious memoir-in-essays where we observe Resnicks committed indifference to family, friends, strangers, and the world at large. His mind shaped by such touchstone events as a traumatic Easter egg hunt when he was six (which solidified his hatred of parties) and overwrought by obsessions, including one with a plastic shopping bag (which solidified his hatred for change), he refuses to be burdened by chores like basic social obligation and personal growth, living instead by his own steadfast rule: I refuse to do anything I dont want to do.”
Cut from a similar (if somewhat stranger) cloth as Albert Brooks or Louis C.K., Resnick is the crazy, miserable bastard you cant help rooting for, and the brilliant Will Not Attend showcases this seasoned comedy writer at his brazenly hilarious best.
About the Author
Dave Barry has been delighting readers for decades with his newspaper columns, nonfiction, and novels for adults and children.
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