Please God Let It Be Herpes: A Heartfelt Quest for Love and Companionship

Humorist-writer-mammal Carlos Kotkin is lucky in love-if lucky in love means he's had enough horrible, pathetic, and downright bizarre dating experiences to write a book. His trouble with females usually begins upon opening his mouth.

Here, Carlos shares his ups and mostly downs of bachelorhood, including romantic conquests with a slew of childhood crushes, insane yogis, a Playboy vixen, a STD host, the flaky, the deaf, and the just plain dumb. His unique mating style is not to be duplicated, but it will definitely make readers laugh-and want to get tested ASAP.

"Comedy Central regular Kotkin shares just the right amount of detail from his lifelong pursuit of a wife to make his first book a charming read. The author admits he's survived a 'blundering and arduous journey of romantic misadventures,' but without the parade of sometimes likable, occasionally crazy, but always fascinating females walking in and out of his life since 5th grade, this laugh-out-loud memoir wouldn't exist. An intimate mix of cynicism, dry humor, and matter-of-fact prose makes nearly every page funny. Despite the book's title — inspired by Kotkin's brief relationship with a woman he met on the Internet — the subtitle suggests that the author refrains from celebrating his lewdest encounters. While he engages in plenty of one-night stands, deep down, Kotkin just wants to find his soul mate, marry, and live happily ever after. (A gracious forward from his own mother asserts as much, and she assures readers, 'You will not get herpes by reading this book, but you might get a stomachache from all the laughing.') It's a fantasy he finds more tempting than tawdry trysts with strangers or dalliances with a drunk Nordic blonde. This is a hilarious — and unexpectedly empathetic — take on one man's search for love that will appeal to those who've found it, and folks who are still looking. (Mar.)" Publishers Weekly Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved.

Carlos Kotkin performs stand-up around the country at both Upright Citizens Brigade and the Comedy Central Stage. As an essayist, he's been featured in Fanzine, Pop-Serial, and the anthology Dirty Laundry. He is also the creator of the film short Overcoming Shyness.