How do you tell your partner that you'd like to be spanked?
Where can you find a good dominatrix?
If your husband like to wear your panties, does that mean he's gay?
What really goes on at SM clubs?
After you tie someone up, what exactly are you supposed to do?
Is there such a thing as normal sex?
If you've ever wondered about the ins and outs of bondage, spanking, or cross-dressing, look no further. Come Hither is a frank, friendly guide on how to turn your secret fantasies into satisfying expressions of love and desire. The official resource guide for SM/fetish sex at the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality, Come Hither proves that a little kink can be a lot of fun.
For everyone intrigued by the world of kinky sex: frank, friendly, expert advice on how to turn secret fantasies into positive, real-life expressions of love and desire.
Contents CHAPTER ONE:
Introductory Kink
Kinky Confessional • Basic Sexual Rights • The Five Fallacies of Kinky Sex •
CHAPTER TWO:
What's Your Kink Quotient?
Know Thy Kinky Self • The Kink Quotient Quiz •
CHAPTER THREE:
The Kink in All of Us
What's Normal? • Are You Ready to Explore? • "Ready...or Not?" Quiz • Just Say Maybe • Eight Talking Points on Kinky Sex • When Your Partner Is Hostile: Dr. Brame's One-Question Wonder Quiz • Four Steps to Kinky Romance • Fluffy Stuff • How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Whip • How to Eroticize Anything • Kink and God: The Spiritual Conflict •
CHAPTER FOUR:
Getting Involved
Kink and the Single Pervert • Getting Kinky • Ye Olde Subtle Hintes • A Word About Timing • Playing It Safe and Keeping It Consensual • Where to Go, Who to Do • Before Stepping Out: A Short Guide to Social Etiquette •
CHAPTER FIVE:
Erotic Bondage
Is Bondage Wrong? • What Makes Bondage Sexy? • The Five Top Reasons Why People Love Bondage • Prisoners of Love • The Five Top Captivity Fantasies • Bondage Tips and Techniques • Clamps, Cuffs, and Crosses: A Basic Guide to Bondage Toys • Fifteen Ways to Tease Your Tied-Up Lover • Bondage Nevers •
CHAPTER SIX:
Erotic Pain
How Can Anything That Hurts Be Good? • Good Pain vs. Bad Pain • How to Take Your Lover from Pain to Pleasure: Five Tips • Can I Be Submissive If I Don't Like Pain? • Safety, Safety, Safety and, in Case You Weren't Listening, Safety! • Top Torture Toys and Techniques •
CHAPTER SEVEN:
Fetishes
What's a Fetish? • A Fetish Is Alive! • Fetish Tales • A Catalogue of Fetishes •
CHAPTER EIGHT:
Role-Play and Lifestyle Relationships
Section One: Role-Play FAQ • Section Two: Roundup of Roles and Role-Based Relationships •
CHAPTER NINE:
Transgenderism: The Second Self
What's in a Gender? • Transvestite or Transsexual? • Common Concerns of TVs and Some Advice • Quick Questions from Partners of TVs • The Three Big Headaches of Being a TV • Tips on Teasing a TV •
CHAPTER TEN:
Power Relationships
What Are Power Relationships? • Should Parents in Lifestyle Power Relationships Keep Their Kinks Hidden from Their Kids? • Is Coming Out to Your Relatives a Good Idea? •
CHAPTER ELEVEN:
The View from the Top: Sexual Dominants
The Fictional Dominant vs. the Human Dominant • A Note to Gay/Lesbian Readers • Key Qualities of Great Dominants • What's in a Name? Typing Your Topness • Trust: The Key to Joyful Obedience • Emotional Temperature-Taking • Myths That Need to Go Away • Three Flavors of Femdoms • Female Dominance: Oxymoron or Redundancy? • How to Punish a Masochist • It's the Perks, Darling!: Five Cool Things About Being a Bitch for Female Dominants • The Five Worst Things About Being a Heterosexual Male Dominant • Psychological Dominance • Six Easy Ways to Relax Your Submissive • What's So Funny About Kinky Sex? • A Few Tips to Spice Up Your Psychodrama • It's the Perks, Darling!: Five Fun Things About Being a Bastard for Male Dominants •
CHAPTER TWELVE:
The View from the Bottom: Sexual Submissives
The Submissive Stigma • Slave, Submissive, Masochist, or Bottom? • If I'm a Slave, Do I Live in a Cage? • Are You Being Abused? • Public Etiquette for Submissives • The Uncollared Sub • Finding a Ringmaster in a World of Clowns • Ten Stupid Things That Femsubs Do to Screw Up Their Lives • Signs That the Dom Is Dangerous • Sweet Services to Please a Dominant • In Search of HER • To See or Not to See (A Prodom) •
CHAPTER THIRTEEN:
Kinky Facts, Follies, and Fun
Reviewing the Rules • Data to Digest • Four Kinky Types to Watch Out For • Twenty High-Culture Kink Classics • Games Kinky Lovers Can Play: Twisted Torturous Trivia Quiz • Kinky Reading List •
APPENDIX:
Speaking the Kinky Lingo
A Glossary of Scene Slang
INDEX
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