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You're Wearing That?: Understanding Mothers and Daughters in Conversation

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You're Wearing That?: Understanding Mothers and Daughters in Conversation Cover

ISBN13: 9780812972665
ISBN10: 081297266x
Condition: Standard
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Synopses & Reviews

Publisher Comments:

Deborah Tannen's #1 New York Times bestseller You Just Dont Understand revolutionized communication between women and men. Now, in her most provocative and engaging book to date, she takes on what is potentially the most fraught and passionate connection of womens lives: the mother-daughter relationship.

It was Tannen who first showed us that men and women speak different languages. Mothers and daughters speak the same language-but still often misunderstand each other, as they struggle to find the right balance between closeness and independence. Both mothers and daughters want to be seen for who they are, but tend to see the other as falling short of who she should be. Each overestimates the others power and underestimates her own.

Why do daughters complain that their mothers always criticize, while mothers feel hurt that their daughters shut them out? Why do mothers and daughters critique each other on the Big Three-hair, clothes, and weight-while longing for approval and understanding? And why do they scrutinize each other for reflections of themselves?

Deborah Tannen answers these and many other questions as she explains why a remark that would be harmless coming from anyone else can cause an explosion when it comes from your mother or your daughter. She examines every aspect of this complex dynamic, from the dark side that can shadow a woman throughout her life, to the new technologies like e-mail and instant messaging that are transforming mother-daughter communication. Most important, she helps mothers and daughters understand each other, the key to improving their relationship.

With groundbreaking insights, pitch-perfect dialogues, and deeply moving memories of her own mother, Tannen untangles the knots daughters and mothers can get tied up in. Readers will appreciate Tannens humor as they see themselves on every page and come away with real hope for breaking down barriers and opening new lines of communication. Eye-opening and heartfelt, Youre Wearing That? illuminates and enriches one of the most important relationships in our lives.

“Tannen analyzes and decodes scores of conversations between moms and daughters. These exchanges are so real they can make you squirm as you relive the last fraught conversation you had with your own mother or daughter. But Tannen doesn't just point out the pitfalls of the mother-daughter relationship, she also provides guidance for changing the conversations (or the way that we feel about the conversations) before they degenerate into what Tannen calls a mutually aggravating spiral, a "self-perpetuating cycle of escalating responses that become provocations." - The San Francisco Chronicle 

From the Hardcover edition.

Synopsis:

Deborah Tannen's #1 New York Times" "bestseller You Just Don't Understand revolutionized communication between women and men. Now, in her most provocative and engaging book to date, she takes on what is potentially the most fraught and passionate connection of women's lives: the mother-daughter relationship.<BR>It was Tannen who first showed us that men and women speak different languages. Mothers and daughters speak the same language-but still often misunderstand each other, as they struggle to find the right balance between closeness and independence. Both mothers and daughters want to be seen for who they are, but tend to see the other as falling short of who she should be. Each overestimates the other's power and underestimates her own. <BR>Why do daughters complain that their mothers always criticize, while mothers feel hurt that their daughters shut them out? Why do mothers and daughters critique each other on the Big Three-hair, clothes, and weight-while longing for approval and understanding? And why do they scrutinize each other for reflections of themselves? <BR>Deborah Tannen answers these and many other questions as she explains why a remark that would be harmless coming from anyone else can cause an explosion when it comes from your mother or your daughter. She examines every aspect of this complex dynamic, from the dark side that can shadow a woman throughout her life, to the new technologies like e-mail and instant messaging that are transforming mother-daughter communication. Most important, she helps mothers and daughters understand each other, the key to improving their relationship.<BR>With groundbreaking insights, pitch-perfect dialogues, and deeply moving memoriesof her own mother, Tannen untangles the knots daughters and mothers can get tied up in. Readers will appreciate Tannen's humor as they see themselves on every page and come away with real hope for breaking down barriers and opening new lines of communication. Eye-opening and

About the Author

Deborah Tannen is the acclaimed author of You Just Dont Understand, which was on the New York Times bestseller list for nearly four years; I Only Say This Because I Love You, which won the Books for a Better Life Award; Talking from 9 to 5, a New York Times bestseller; Thats Not What I Meant!; and many other books. A professor of linguistics at Georgetown University, she appears frequently on such shows as The Oprah Winfrey Show, Today, Good Morning America, Nightline, 20/20, and NPRs All Things Considered. She lives with her husband in the Washington, D.C., area. Her website is www.deborahtannen.com.

To schedule a speaking engagement, please contact American Program Bureau at www.apbspeakers.com  

From the Hardcover edition.

What Our Readers Are Saying

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Average customer rating based on 1 comment:

June Dye, September 4, 2011 (view all comments by June Dye)
This book will have you nodding your head and saying "amen." A must-read for mothers whose daughters "think everything I say is critical when I'm only trying to help" and daughters whose mothers "think I'm an incompetent child." After reading this book, your mother may still drive you crazy, but at least you will understand why.
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Product Details

ISBN:
9780812972665
Author:
Tannen, Deborah
Publisher:
Ballantine Books
Subject:
Communication
Subject:
Family Relationships
Subject:
Parenting - Motherhood
Subject:
Communication Studies
Subject:
General Family & Relationships
Subject:
Self-Help : General
Subject:
Child Care and Parenting-General
Copyright:
Edition Description:
Trade paper
Publication Date:
20061231
Binding:
TRADE PAPER
Grade Level:
General/trade
Language:
English
Pages:
304
Dimensions:
7.90x5.32x.66 in. .47 lbs.

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Related Subjects

» Health and Self-Help » Child Care and Parenting » General
» Health and Self-Help » Child Care and Parenting » Mothering
» Health and Self-Help » Child Care and Parenting » Parenting Teens
» Health and Self-Help » Self-Help » Communication
» Health and Self-Help » Self-Help » General

You're Wearing That?: Understanding Mothers and Daughters in Conversation Used Trade Paper
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Product details 304 pages Ballantine Books - English 9780812972665 Reviews:
"Synopsis" by , Deborah Tannen's #1 New York Times" "bestseller You Just Don't Understand revolutionized communication between women and men. Now, in her most provocative and engaging book to date, she takes on what is potentially the most fraught and passionate connection of women's lives: the mother-daughter relationship.<BR>It was Tannen who first showed us that men and women speak different languages. Mothers and daughters speak the same language-but still often misunderstand each other, as they struggle to find the right balance between closeness and independence. Both mothers and daughters want to be seen for who they are, but tend to see the other as falling short of who she should be. Each overestimates the other's power and underestimates her own. <BR>Why do daughters complain that their mothers always criticize, while mothers feel hurt that their daughters shut them out? Why do mothers and daughters critique each other on the Big Three-hair, clothes, and weight-while longing for approval and understanding? And why do they scrutinize each other for reflections of themselves? <BR>Deborah Tannen answers these and many other questions as she explains why a remark that would be harmless coming from anyone else can cause an explosion when it comes from your mother or your daughter. She examines every aspect of this complex dynamic, from the dark side that can shadow a woman throughout her life, to the new technologies like e-mail and instant messaging that are transforming mother-daughter communication. Most important, she helps mothers and daughters understand each other, the key to improving their relationship.<BR>With groundbreaking insights, pitch-perfect dialogues, and deeply moving memoriesof her own mother, Tannen untangles the knots daughters and mothers can get tied up in. Readers will appreciate Tannen's humor as they see themselves on every page and come away with real hope for breaking down barriers and opening new lines of communication. Eye-opening and
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