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I Need Your Love - Is That True?: How to Stop Seeking Love, Approval, and Appreciation and Start Finding Them Insteadby Byron Katie
Synopses & Reviews
I Need Your Love — Is That True? is the book for all people who are searching for peace and self-acceptance in their lives. Byron Katie, the woman who taught hundreds of thousands of people to do "The Work," takes us all to the next level and guides the reader to true fulfillment: acceptance, peace, and satisfaction with oneself and the relationships one values in life.
Byron Katie experienced what she calls "waking up to reality" in 1986, and since then she has introduced the method of self-help that saved her from depression — which she has termed "The Work" — to hundreds of thousands of people throughout the world. In addition to her public events, she has introduced The Work into business settings, universities, schools, churches, prisons, and hospitals. Her website address is www.thework.org.
"Katie reintroduces the form of self-questioning called 'The Work' that she originally presented in Loving What Is, but here she tackles relationships — and what spoils them. According to Katie (writing with the help of Katz, who is also her agent), rather than seeking love and approval from others, you need to find them in yourself. What often blocks that love is one's perception of reality: 'If you believe your stressful thoughts, your life is filled with stress. But if you question your thoughts, you come to love your life and everyone in it.' 'The Work' is central to the process of taking a judgmental thought — such as 'my partner is supposed to make me happy' — and subjecting it to four powerful questions, such as 'Is it true?' and 'Who or what would I be without the thought?' Then Katie suggests turning the thought around and considering different options, such as making yourself happy and making your partner happy. Finally, she suggests ways to find love and acceptance in yourself. Katie's chatty style and her use of detailed dialogues and simple exercises will make many readers feel transformation is inevitable. (On sale Mar. 22) Forecast: A 15-city author tour should help launch this to the sales levels of Loving What Is (110,000 copies in cloth and paper)." Publishers Weekly (Copyright Reed Business Information, Inc.)
"This well-written guide includes many real-life examples of individuals and couples doing 'The Work' and changing their lives. Highly recommended." Library Journal
"This technique seems so simple that it's hard to make a whole book out of it, but like most self-help gurus, Katie, with the aid of coauthor Katz, manages just fine." Booklist
Katie, the woman who taught hundreds of thousands of people to do "The Work," takes readers to the next level and guides the reader to true fulfillment: acceptance, peace, and satisfaction with oneself and the relationships one values in life.
In Loving What Is, bestselling author Byron Katie introduced thousands of people to her simple and profound method of finding happiness through questioning the mind. Now, I Need Your Love—Is That True? examines a universal, age-old source of anxiety: our relationships with others. In this groundbreaking book, Katie helps you question everything you have been taught to do to gain love and approval. In doing this, you discover how to find genuine love and connection.
The usual advice offered in self-help books and reinforced by our culture advocates a stressful, all-consuming quest for love and approval. We are advised to learn self-marketing and manipulative skills—how to attract, impress, seduce, and often pretend to be something we aren’t. This approach doesn’t work. It leaves millions of walking wounded—those who, having failed to find love or appreciation, blame themselves and conclude that they are unworthy of love.
I Need Your Love—Is That True? helps you illuminate every area in your life where you seem to lack what you long for most—the love of your spouse, the respect of your child, a lover’s tenderness, or the esteem of your boss. Through its penetrating inquiry, you will quickly discover the falseness of the accepted ways of seeking love and approval, and also of the mythology that equates love with need. Using the method in this book, you will inquire into painful beliefs that you’ve based your whole life on—and be delighted to see them evaporate. Katie shows you how unraveling the knots in the search for love, approval, and appreciation brings real love and puts you in charge of your own happiness.
“Everyone agrees that love is wonderful, except when it’s terrible. People spend their whole lives tantalized by love—seeking it, trying to hold on to it, or trying to get over it. Not far behind love, as major preoccupations, come approval and appreciation. From childhood on, most people spend much of their energy in a relentless pursuit of these things, trying out different methods to be noticed, to please, to impress, and to win other people’s love, thinking that’s just the way life is. This effort can become so constant and unquestioned that we barely notice it anymore.
This book takes a close look at what works and what doesn’t in the quest for love and approval. It will help you find a way to be happier in love and more effective in all your relationships. What you learn here will bring fulfillment to all kinds of relationships, including romantic love, dating, marriage, work, and friendship.” —Byron Katie
About the Author
Byron Katie (she was born Byron Kathleen Reid, and everyone calls her Katie) discovered inquiry in 1986. Everything in this book comes from The Work of Byron Katie, her remarkable method for finding happiness and freedom. Katie has been traveling around the world for more than a dozen years teaching The Work directly to hundreds of thousands of people. In addition, she has introduced The Work into business settings, universities, schools, churches, prisons, and hospitals. Her website is www.thework.com, where you will find her schedule, articles about her, registration forms, and basic information about The Work.
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