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On My Own: The Art of Being a Woman Alone

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On My Own: The Art of Being a Woman Alone Cover

ISBN13: 9781400098118
ISBN10: 1400098114
Condition: Standard
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Synopses & Reviews

Publisher Comments:

At some point over the course of the average American womans life, she will find herself alone, whether she is divorced, widowed, single, or in a loveless, isolating relationship. And when that time comes, it is likely that she will be at a loss as to how to handle it. As a society, we have an unspoken but omnipresent belief that a woman alone is an outcast, inherently flawed in some way. In this invigorating, supportive book, psychotherapist Florence Falk aims to take the fear, doubt, confusion, and helplessness out of being a woman alone. Falk invites all women to find their own paths toward an authentic selfhood, to discover the pleasures and riches of solitude, and to reconnect with others through a newfound sense of self-confidence.

Like so many women before her, Florence Falk found herself divorced, alone, and unsure of herself. Soon she realized that by embracing her solitude for what it was—a potentially enriching and life-altering experience—she could turn what once would have felt like “loneliness” into a far more positive and empowered “aloneness.” Falk notes that each of us has two opposing drives: one causes us to yearn to make close connections with others, and the other pulls us back into ourselves, into the need for selfhood and certainty that can only be shaped through solitude. In order to be whole, she says, we must heed both of those impulses. But in our modern culture, the former is stressed while the latter is neglected, even vilified. On My Own boldly shifts that paradigm.

With inspiring, intimate stories of women from all backgrounds, Falk illuminates the essential role that being alone plays in womens lives. Whether she is in a stable relationship or on her own, every woman must learn to be by herself; for if she can be fully free, unfettered by societys stigmas about being alone, life and all its possibilities will open up for her. And as Falk demonstrates, once a woman has discovered the richness of solitude, she is not likely to give it up so easily.

From the Hardcover edition.

About the Author

Florence Falk has been a psychotherapist in private practice for the past twenty years. She has given lectures and workshops throughout the country.

From the Hardcover edition.

What Our Readers Are Saying

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titianlibrarian, August 8, 2008 (view all comments by titianlibrarian)
I think every woman should read this book, regardless if she is in a relationship or is single. It has been peaceful reading before bed every night, and I find myself marking pages, rereading passages and I think I will even buy this title.

The author explains the pressure society puts on women to identify as part of a relationship and the shame and fear that single women put upon themselves. Then she offers meditations and inspiring case studies of women--young, old, widowed, divorced, those cheated on, those abandoned, and those feeling alone even if they're in a relationship--handling their situation with aplomb and confidence.

"The challenge for women alone is to learn how to sit with those disquieting feelings of loss and pain and the anxiety they are likely to engender, rather than find ways to escape. Fear and anxiety can grow particularly acute when we dare to enter the feeling of emptiness that is inside us. As one woman describes it, "That's when I feel like a bottomless pit of need." By sitting with these feelings, they start to lose their stranglehold over their lives. Solitude allows us to discover that we are more than the sum of our pain; it helps to shift our longings, so heavily invested in our own sense of neediness and dependency, toward meaningful and life-affirming pursuits. Gradually, we gain back our voice, and the self breathes free. Thus begins the "art" of being a woman alone." (79)

"What women alone need to hear is the voice that refutes these assumptions, that implores us to honor ourselves, that reassures us that change is possible, that says we are fully capable of making our own choices. This voice is in each one of us. It's the voice of the young girl we once knew, exulted in, and then lost track of...the best friend we haven't seen in thirty years or more... Its words do not continue to divide us from ourselves but rather begin to make us feel whole. It is the voice of our authentic self, and, for most of us, its sound has been muffled for so long that when we do begin to hear it, it can sound too loud and rude: it says things a good girl doesn't say, even if we blush and try to tone it down. Many women sadly tell me their own authentic voice sounds "too large," "too overbearing," "too demanding," or "too powerful." Ironically, although we may feel great entitlement in our professional lives, have no qualms about spending a lot of money on clothes or taking a vacation, the decibel level of our voice is out of hearing range when it comes to the places deep inside us that wait to be awakened." (164)
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Product Details

ISBN:
9781400098118
Author:
Falk, Florence
Publisher:
Three Rivers Press (CA)
Subject:
Personal Growth - General
Subject:
Women's Studies - General
Subject:
Love & Romance
Subject:
General Self-Help
Subject:
Self-Help : General
Subject:
Esteem
Copyright:
Edition Description:
Trade paper
Publication Date:
20080331
Binding:
TRADE PAPER
Grade Level:
General/trade
Language:
English
Pages:
304
Dimensions:
8 x 5.15 x 0.64 in 0.5 lb

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Related Subjects

Health and Self-Help » Self-Help » Female Specific
Health and Self-Help » Self-Help » General
Health and Self-Help » Self-Help » Relationships
History and Social Science » Gender Studies » Womens Studies

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