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Love Your Enemies: How to Break the Anger Habit & Be a Whole Lot Happierby Robert Thurman
Synopses & Reviews
When people and circumstances upset us, how do we deal with them? Often, we feel victimized. We become hurt, angry, and defensive. We end up seeing others as enemies, and when things don’t go our way, we become enemies to ourselves.
But what if we could move past this pain, anger, and defensiveness?
Inspired by Buddhist philosophy, this book introduces us to the four kinds of enemies we encounter in life: the outer enemy, people, institutions, and situations that mean to harm us; the inner enemy, anger, hatred, fear, and other destructive emotions; the secret enemy, self-obsession that isolates us from others; and the super-secret enemy, deep-seated self-loathing that prevents us from finding inner freedom and true happiness.
In this practical guide, we learn not only how to identify our enemies, but more important, how to transform our relationship to them. Love Your Enemies teaches us how to . . .
break free from the mode of “us” versus “them” thinking
develop compassion, patience, and love
accept what is beyond our control
embrace lovingkindness, right speech, and other core concepts
Throughout, authors Sharon Salzberg and Robert Thurman share stories and exercises for achieving finding peace within yourself and with the world. Drawing from ancient spiritual wisdom and modern psychology, Love Your Enemies presents tools that are useful for all readers.
Life has a way of thwarting our plans, leaving even the most sainted of us frustrated and fearful at times. But losing our cool causes more problems than it solves. So when people and circumstances conspire against us, how can we douse the white-hot fires of rage? How can we break the cycle of hurt, anger, and revenge to find inner peace and coexist peacefully with the world?
In Love Your Enemies...It Will Drive Them Crazy, Sharon Salzberg and Tenzin Robert Thurman draw on ancient spiritual wisdom, modern psychology, and the latest neuroscience to guide us in dealing with troublesome people and situations, and overcoming the real source of our distress, our deep-seated self-centeredness and self-hatred.
Based on the popular workshop they teach together, the authors offer practical methods for transforming our relationship to our outer, inner, secret, and super-secret enemies. Thurman, a noted Columbia University professor and former Tibetan Buddhist monk, brings to life traditional wisdom teachings such as Shantideva’s advice on replacing anger with patience, and the practice of exchanging self-preoccupation for compassion set out by Dharmarakshita. Salzberg mines her experiences as a leading teacher of insight and lovingkindness meditation to relate real-life examples of putting the teachings into practice. Together, the two perspectives give us a well-rounded course in conquering our outer and inner enemies. The material is presented in a warm, accessible manner that welcomes spiritual seekers of all levels, from newcomer to dedicated practitioner.
About the Author
Tenzin Robert Thurman, a professor at Columbia University, holds the first endowed chair in Indo-Tibetan Buddhist Studies in America. A cofounder and the president of Tibet House New York, an organization dedicated to preserving the endangered culture of Tibet, he is the author of the bestseller Inner Revolution, as well as Anger, Infinite Life, and numerous other books. The first Tibetan Buddhist monk from the West, he has been a close friend and colleague of the Dalai Lama many years.
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