So Hard to Say

Frederick is the shy new boy, and Xio is the bubbly chica who lends him a pen on the first day of class. They become fast friends — but when Xio decides she wants to be more than friends, Frederick isn't so sure. He loves hanging out with Xio and her crew, but he doesn't like her that way. Instead he finds himself thinking more and more about Victor, the captain of the soccer team. But does that mean Frederick's gay? He hopes not — he sees how everyone makes fun of Iggy, a boy all the other kids think is gay.

Frederick has to deal with some tough choices: Even though he is curious about Iggy, he's just started fitting in at his new school, and he doesn't want to lose Xio, his best friend.

In So Hard to Say, Alex Sanchez, acclaimed author of the groundbreaking novels Rainbow High and Rainbow Boys, of which School Library Journal said, "It can open eyes and change lives, helps younger readers look at self-discovery, come to terms with being gay, and accept people who are different from them."

"In chapters that alternate between Frederick, a new eighth-grader, and Mara Xiomara Iris Jurez Hidalgo ('Xio'), Sanchez's (Rainbow Boys) insightful novel explores the ambiguities of budding sexuality. When shy Frederick transfers to her California school, lively Xio immediately develops a crush on him. They quickly become friends, and he joins her clique, but when they end up in a closet together during a kissing game at a party, Frederick is disturbed that he imagines kissing popular, handsome Victor instead. Readers will find it easy to empathize with both protagonists as Frederick gradually comes to terms with being gay — and shares his secret with Xio. The largely Mexican student body at their school provides an authentic backdrop for the novel (Xio weaves Spanish into her narration, and the boys Frederick plays soccer with call Iggy, another gay student, a 'Maricn'). While a subplot about Xio's father also possibly being gay seems extraneous, and her circle of girlfriends somewhat scripted (Las Sexy Seis: a beauty 'with a Barbie doll figure,' a brain, a saint, a jock and a jokester who recently moved away — plus Xio), for the most part this is a well-crafted novel. The author maps out spot-on issues for this age group, from name-calling ('Everyone knows calling somebody gay is just about the worst thing you can say to them,' Xio thinks) to self-questioning (in one scene, Frederick types the word 'gay' into his Internet browser) to worrying about what others think (Frederick asks his father if he thinks gay people are 'bad'). These believable narrators face realistic and complicated problems — and demonstrate an inspiring model of acceptance. Ages 8-12. (Oct.) " Publishers Weekly (Copyright 2004 Reed Business Information, Inc.)

"A well-crafted novel." Publishers Weekly

"Sanchez...just keeps getting better at his art." VOYA

"So Hard to Say is funny and clever and heartbreaking and, ultimately, healing. Alex Sanchez takes the reader right up into the face of his characters and makes you feel all the angst of eighth grade again. I found myself cheering for Xio and Frederick and for all the cool and crazy kids in their world. I found myself wanting to meet them again in their grown-up futures! Isn't that wild?" Jacqueline Woodson, author of Locomotion

New to California, Frederick makes fast friends with Xio, who develops a crush on him. But Frederick is drawn to Victor, the popular captain of the soccer team. Frederick is confused about what his feelings can mean — and part of him is afraid to find out.

When Frederick shows up at school, Xio is thrilled. The new boy is shy, cute, and definitely good boyfriend material. Before long, she pulls him into her lively circle of friends.

Frederick knows he should be flattered by Xio's attention. After all, she's popular, pretty, and a lot of fun. So why can't he stop thinking about Victor, the captain of the soccer team, instead?

Alex Sanchez received his master's degree in guidance and counseling from Old Dominion University. For many years he worked as a youth and family counselor. His novels include the Lambda Award-winning So Hard to Say, the Rainbow Boys trilogy, and Bait. When not writing, Alex tours the country talking with teens, librarians, and educators about the importance of teaching tolerance and self-acceptance. Originally from Mexico, Alex now lives in Thailand and Hollywood, Florida. Visit Alex at AlexSanchez.com.