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You Are Old: Sobering Affirmations for Your Rapidly Disappearing Life

by

You Are Old: Sobering Affirmations for Your Rapidly Disappearing Life Cover

 

Synopses & Reviews

Publisher Comments:

Aging humor from New York Times best-selling humorist Scott Dikkers, former editor-in-chief of The Onion. A collection of depressing nuggets of wisdom and useless tips for those confronting the painful reality of joint pain, memory loss, and other aged infirmities.

Did you suddenly wake up and realize you are old? How did this happen? Where did all your youthful health, energy, and beauty go? And what can you do to recapture it and revitalize your life? Nothing. You're old.

From the New York Times best-selling authors of You Are Worthless and Just Give Up comes an even less inspiring book for those past their prime. One of Scott Dikker's most hilarious creations, Dr. Oswalt T. Pratt is a sad and seriously inept marriage and family counselor barely holding on to his rapidly retreating 40s. And he's out of shape, too. So he knows the pain of growing old. In You Are Old, he offers steaming buckets of wisdom crafted especially for those wracked with memory loss and other aged infirmities.

* Dating after 40: good luck with that.

* Ear hair: how did you get so much of it?

* You're past your prime. Your best days are behind you. You're over the hill. Your body doesn't bounce back like it used to. It's starting to hurt a lot. Your back hurts, your neck hurts. Your knees hurt. You're arthritic. You have rheumatoid arthritis, chronic pain syndrome, Bursitis, shingles, hives, cataracts and ringworm. You're starting to sag, wrinkle, dry out and develop spots.

* It's your choice: learn to navigate our serpentine, Rube Goldbergian healthcare system, or just give up and die.

* Today is the first day of the end of your life.

Synopsis:

Did you suddenly wake up and realize you are old? How did this happen? Where did all your youthful health, energy, and beauty go? And what can you do to recapture it and revitalize your life? Nothing. You're old.

From the New York Times best-selling authors of You Are Worthless and Just Give Up comes an even less inspiring book for those past their prime. One of Scott Dikker's most hilarious creations, Dr. Oswalt T. Pratt is a sad and seriously inept marriage and family counselor barely holding on to his rapidly retreating 40s. And he's out of shape, too. So he knows the pain of growing old. In You Are Old, he offers steaming buckets of wisdom crafted especially for those wracked with memory loss and other aged infirmities.

* Dating after 40: good luck with that.

* Ear hair: how did you get so much of it?

* You're past your prime. Your best days are behind you. You're over the hill. Your body doesn't bounce back like it used to. It's starting to hurt a lot. Your back hurts, your neck hurts. Your knees hurt. You're arthritic. You have rheumatoid arthritis, chronic pain syndrome, Bursitis, shingles, hives, cataracts and ringworm. You're starting to sag, wrinkle, dry out and develop spots.

* It's your choice: learn to navigate our serpentine, Rube Goldbergian healthcare system, or just give up and die.

* Today is the first day of the end of your life.

About the Author

Cartoonist, filmmaker, and founder and former editor-in-chief of The Onion, Scott Dikkers has written or co-written several New York Times best-sellers including Our Dumb World and The Onion's Our Dumb Century, which has sold more than a half-million copies and was awarded the Thurber Prize for American Humor. His other books include The Onion's Finest News Reporting and the self-help parody You Are Worthless, and the "unauthorized autobiography" of George W. Bush, Destined for Destiny.

Online:

<>dikkers.com

Product Details

ISBN:
9781449418397
Author:
Pratt, Oswald T.
Publisher:
Andrews McMeel Publishing
Author:
Pratt, Dr. Oswald T.
Author:
Dikkers, Scott
Copyright:
Edition Description:
Trade Paperback
Publication Date:
20120807
Binding:
TRADE PAPER
Language:
English
Pages:
128
Dimensions:
7 x 5 in

Related Subjects

Arts and Entertainment » Humor » Anecdotes
Arts and Entertainment » Humor » General
Arts and Entertainment » Humor » Narrative
History and Social Science » Sociology » Aging

You Are Old: Sobering Affirmations for Your Rapidly Disappearing Life New Trade Paper
0 stars - 0 reviews
$9.99 In Stock
Product details 128 pages Andrews McMeel Publishing - English 9781449418397 Reviews:
"Synopsis" by , Did you suddenly wake up and realize you are old? How did this happen? Where did all your youthful health, energy, and beauty go? And what can you do to recapture it and revitalize your life? Nothing. You're old.

From the New York Times best-selling authors of You Are Worthless and Just Give Up comes an even less inspiring book for those past their prime. One of Scott Dikker's most hilarious creations, Dr. Oswalt T. Pratt is a sad and seriously inept marriage and family counselor barely holding on to his rapidly retreating 40s. And he's out of shape, too. So he knows the pain of growing old. In You Are Old, he offers steaming buckets of wisdom crafted especially for those wracked with memory loss and other aged infirmities.

* Dating after 40: good luck with that.

* Ear hair: how did you get so much of it?

* You're past your prime. Your best days are behind you. You're over the hill. Your body doesn't bounce back like it used to. It's starting to hurt a lot. Your back hurts, your neck hurts. Your knees hurt. You're arthritic. You have rheumatoid arthritis, chronic pain syndrome, Bursitis, shingles, hives, cataracts and ringworm. You're starting to sag, wrinkle, dry out and develop spots.

* It's your choice: learn to navigate our serpentine, Rube Goldbergian healthcare system, or just give up and die.

* Today is the first day of the end of your life.

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