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The High-Conflict Couple: A Dialectical Behavior Therapy Guide to Finding Peace, Intimacy, and Validationby Alan E Fruzzetti
Synopses & Reviews
You hear and read a lot about ways to improve your relationship. But if you've tried these without much success, you're not alone. Many highly reactive couples—pairs that are quick to argue, anger, and blame—need more than just the run-of-the-mill relationship advice to solve their problems in love. When destructive emotions are at the heart of problems in your relationship, no amount of effective communication or intimacy building will fix what ails it. If you're part of a "high-conflict" couple, you need to get control of your emotions first, to stop making things worse, and only then work on building a better relationship.
The High-Conflict Couple adapts the powerful techniques of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) into skills you can use to tame out-of-control emotions that flare up in your relationship. Using mindfulness and distress tolerance techniques, you'll learn how to deescalate angry situations before they have a chance to explode into destructive fights. Other approaches will help you disclose your fears, longings, and other vulnerabilities to your partner and validate his or her experiences in return. You'll discover ways to manage problems with negotiation, not conflict, and to find true acceptance and closeness with the person you love the most.
This is the first book to use dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) to help high-conflict couples regulate out-of-control emotions, tolerate distressing situations, and resolve problems—an approach proven to help even the most highly reactive couples build healthy relationships.
In this book, a noted expert in the use of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) in couples' therapy adapts a powerful set of emotion regulation tools into techniques for addressing relationship issues.
Some couples need more than just the run-of-the-mill relationship advice to solve their problems in love. When out-of-control emotions are the root cause of problems in a relationship, no amount of effective communication or intimacy building will fix what ails it. What these high-conflict couples need is help regulating the emotions that provoke the escape or win mode of interaction that has come to define them. This book adapts dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) into a powerful set of emotion regulation tools. Using mindfulness and distress tolerance techniques, readers learn how to deescalate conflict situations before they have a chance to flare into serious fights. Other techniques help partners in a relationship validate one another's experiences. Ultimately, readers who practice the techniques in this book will learn how to manage problems with negotiation, not conflict, and how to find true acceptance and closeness with each other.
About the Author
Alan E. Fruzzetti, PhD, is associate professor of psychology and director of the Dialectical Behavior Therapy and Research Program at the University of Nevada, Reno. He provides extensive training, supervision, and consultation for DBT treatment programs and DBT research in the United States and abroad. Fruzzetti is also research director and member of the board of directors of the National Educational Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder and a codeveloper of the Family Connections Program. He has provided extensive DBT training in the United States, Europe, and Australia. He has authored or coauthored dozens of scholarly articles and book chapters on this and related topics.
Foreword writer Marsha M. Linehan, PhD, is professor of psychology and director of the Behavioral Research and Therapy Clinics (BRTC) at the University of Washington in Seattle, WA. She is author of Cognitive Behavioral Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder and Skills Training Manual for Treating Borderline Personality Disorder.
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