Life with Pop: Lessons on Caring for an Aging Parent

After her mother died, Janis Abrahms Spring "inherited" her father (Pop) and set off on an all-consuming, fiveyear mission to make his days as rich and comfortable as possible. This is their story, overflowing with humor, insight, and love.

In beautifully crafted vignettes, Janis brings their deepening relationship to life-both the joy and the imposition, the happiness and the heartache. Early on, she watches with relief as her father adjusts to an assisted-living facility, buoyed by a resilient spirit and a network of new friends. She and her father share the intimacy of afternoons in the park, discovering wonder in the colors of a sandwich or a rose, and solace in a smile or a reassuring touch. But as Pop's health declines, Janis finds herself tested by daunting health-care and financial decisions, and the guilt of trying to balance her father's growing needs against her own.

From her unique perspective as a therapist-weaving together her personal story with the confessions of her patients -Janis explores the emotional and practical complexities of parenting a parent. In sparkling prose, she offers a language for this ordinary, extraordinary experience, helping other caregivers feel less crazy and alone. Inspiring, deeply moving, and frank, Life with Pop is an ultimately comforting meditation on a universal experience, as well as a book with profound lessons on how to grow old gracefully.

-Richard C. Schwartz, Ph.D., founder of Internal Family Systems therapy

"This is more than just a book about caring for an aging parent. It is about human endurance, discovering who we really are, questioning our core values, seeing our future through a magnifying glass, and coming face to face with excruciating life and death choices. In absorbing detail, the author takes us on this soul-changing journey, one that is bound to move and inspire her readers."

-Peggy Papp, M.S.W., Senior Supervisor, Ackerman Family Institute

"Tender, powerful, bluntly honest, Life with Pop explores the extraordinary personal challenges and moments of grace that come with caring for an aging parent. I was a long-distance son, loving but not present. Janis' book showed me with sharp clarity some of the joy I missed and some of the burden I was spared. Rather than inducing guilt and regret, though, it filled me with compassion for all families taking this last walk together. It was a gift to me. Read it. It will be a gift to you."

-David Treadway, Ph.D., co-author of Home Before Dark: A Family's First Year with Cancer

"This book is wonderful-so readable, so personal, so genuine. I can't wait to recommend it to my family, friends, and patients of all ages. It speaks remarkable truths about life that will enrich all who read it."

-Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., Director, Beck Institute for Cognitive Therapy and Research