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1 Burnside Self Help- Relationships

Emotional Bullshit: The Hidden Plague That Is Threatening to Destroy Your Relationships-And How to Stop It

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Emotional Bullshit: The Hidden Plague That Is Threatening to Destroy Your Relationships-And How to Stop It Cover

ISBN13: 9781585426669
ISBN10: 1585426660
Condition: Standard
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Synopses & Reviews

Publisher Comments:

An invisible disease is affecting every aspect of your life. Insidious and creeping, it shapes you everyday – from the bedroom to the boardroom, from your shopping splurge, to the extra helping at your holiday dinner, to the dangerous liaison at work. It’s called emotional bullshit, and it’s encroaching on your happiness.

In Emotional Bullshit: The Hidden Plague That Is Threatening to Destroy Your Relationships – AND HOW TO STOP IT , Carl Alasko, Ph.D. sheds light on the stealth disease of Emotional BS: that is, the Toxic Trio of denial, delusion and blame that we fall back on when faced with difficult situations. These three dynamics work together to distort and manipulate truth, create a delusional reality, and shift blame when things fall apart. With the toxic trio in action, it’s all but impossible to get at the heart of the problem. The result, however, is obvious – no one can achieve happiness and fulfillment. And when used in the world of business, Emotional BS can lead to financial ruin.

In his over twenty years working with individuals, couples and families as a psychotherapist, Dr. Alasko has come to recognize the same problem underlying all his patients’ unhappiness. When confronted with an unpleasant or inconvenient reality, they fall prey to the TOXIC TRIO:

  • DENIAL: “My girlfriend enjoys a ‘good time’ at parties, sure. But she doesn’t have a drinking problem.”

    Decoded: There is no problem. Everything is okay. You’re exaggerating

    See: the drinker, the overweight, the wallet full of maxed-out credit cards (pg 12)

  • DELUSION: “Working late isn’t a problem. My family will understand when I get that big promotion.”

    Decoded: I’ll tell you what’s true. Don’t believe what you see – believe me.

    See: the demanding boss, the neglected partner, the alienated friend (pgs 63, 138)

  • BLAME: “She knew I hated sloppiness when she married me. Why can’t she pick up after herself?”

    Decoded: You’re the problem. I was forced to do it; I had no choice.

    See: the clean freak, sub-prime mortgages, Napoleon Bonaparte (pgs 45, 84)

When the Toxic Trio works together, we become stuck in a cycle of emotional BS, preventing us from moving on or learning from our mistakes.

Emotional bullshit’s pervasiveness in society can be found everywhere, from rising divorce rates, weight gain, and debt, to angry outbursts at work, loss of control over our children, and a lack of fulfillment in our lives. The solution is deceptively simple: You focus on your Core Needs, which is any behavior that advances your long-term best interest, and ask yourself the Master Question—“What do I need from this situation?”. Honestly addressing the larger issue – not just in the short term – cuts the BS in every relationship: between friends, co-workers, couples, in parenting and especially in business.

Frank, concise and unapologetic, EMOTIONAL BULLSHIT sheds light on this hidden plague, and provides concrete advice to keep it from infiltrating your relationships.

Synopsis:

Drawing on extensive case studies from his private practice over the past 20 years, Alasko reveals that whether it's a casual I forgot, or a premeditated deception, lack of personal responsibility and an inability to accept its consequences erodes trust and drives people apart.

Synopsis:

This simple, straightforward guide to effective communication is for anyone who has ever wanted to “eat their words.”

 

Do you ever feel that your words produce the exact opposite effect of what you were hoping for—escalating tensions rather than solving problems? Author of Emotional Bullshit Carl Alasko has found that with the right guidance, anyone can learn effective communication skills. In Say This, Not That, Alasko presents readers with simple instructions for what to say . . . and what not to say. Accompanying each pair of statements is a brief discussion of what makes one so negative and destructive, and the other inviting of the kind of discussion needed. This book is the ultimate resource for anyone who longs to consistently say the right thing at the right time.

 

Synopsis:

You know what your IQ* is.

You may even know what your EIQ** is.

But do you know what your EBSQ*** is?

* INTELLIGENCE QUOTIENT

** EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE QUOTIENT

*** EMOTIONAL BULLSHIT QUOTIENT

An invisible plague is wreaking havoc on human relationships. What is this destructive force? Emotional Bullshit.

In this groundbreaking book, clinical psychologist Dr. Carl Alasko contends that bullshit is everywhere and i‛s getting stronger and more hazardous to our psychological well-being every day. From the highest precincts of commerce and politics to the most average, everyday conversations, w‛re all affected by its toxicity. And yet most of us remain largely unaware of its influence. Alasko explains that this is because EBS is inspired by three interlocking dynamics inherent to our psychological structure: denial, delusion, and blame. Referred to by Alasko as the Toxic Trio, they work together in an intricate dance in which first a truth is denied, then delusion creates an alternate truth, and finally blame is shifted to someone else.

Drawing on extensive case studies from his private practice over the past twenty years, Alasko reveals that whether i‛s a casual“I forgot” or a premeditated deception, Emotional Bullshit always erodes trust and drives people apart. Absolutely no one is safe from its ruinous effects. The number-one New York Times–bestselling book On Bullshit familiarized the public with the philosophy of bullshit—and the humor that can surround it. This book tackles something that is‛t really that funny at all: how Emotional Bullshit is destroying peopl‛s relationships and, in turn, their lives. Emotional Bullshit outlines a path for recognizing and breaking free from this most vicious of cycles.

About the Author

Carl Paul Alasko, Ph.D., has been a practicing psychotherapist for more than twenty years. He is the author of the popular weekly advice column“On Relationship” for The Monterey County Herald.

What Our Readers Are Saying

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Average customer rating based on 1 comment:

Kayla Perry, September 8, 2011 (view all comments by Kayla Perry)
I picked up this book expecting less than what I took away from it, namely a constructive resolution model that is actually workable. One thing I loved about this book was how Alasko didn't pull any punches, he was clear and concise about what emotional bs is and isn't, and why it's so damaging.

Because it's a psychology-based self-help book it's inevitable that Alasko reiterates his points but once you internalize those it's easier to see how much truth is in his simple tenets. I think most anyone could benefit from having a little less emotional bs in their lives and this book is great at identifying what to watch out for.
Was this comment helpful? | Yes | No

Product Details

ISBN:
9781585426669
Author:
Alasko, Carl
Publisher:
Tarcher
Author:
Alasko, Ph. D.
Author:
Alasko, Carl Paul
Author:
Alasko, Ph.D. Carl
Author:
Alasko, Paul
Subject:
Personal Growth - General
Subject:
Interpersonal Relations
Subject:
General Self-Help
Subject:
Emotions
Subject:
Self-Help : General
Copyright:
Edition Description:
Trade paper
Publication Date:
20090131
Binding:
TRADE PAPER
Grade Level:
from 12
Language:
English
Pages:
272
Dimensions:
7 x 7 in 1 lb
Age Level:
from 18

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Related Subjects

Health and Self-Help » Psychology » General
Health and Self-Help » Self-Help » General
Health and Self-Help » Self-Help » Relationships

Emotional Bullshit: The Hidden Plague That Is Threatening to Destroy Your Relationships-And How to Stop It Used Trade Paper
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$5.95 In Stock
Product details 272 pages Jeremy P. Tarcher - English 9781585426669 Reviews:
"Synopsis" by , Drawing on extensive case studies from his private practice over the past 20 years, Alasko reveals that whether it's a casual I forgot, or a premeditated deception, lack of personal responsibility and an inability to accept its consequences erodes trust and drives people apart.
"Synopsis" by ,

This simple, straightforward guide to effective communication is for anyone who has ever wanted to “eat their words.”

 

Do you ever feel that your words produce the exact opposite effect of what you were hoping for—escalating tensions rather than solving problems? Author of Emotional Bullshit Carl Alasko has found that with the right guidance, anyone can learn effective communication skills. In Say This, Not That, Alasko presents readers with simple instructions for what to say . . . and what not to say. Accompanying each pair of statements is a brief discussion of what makes one so negative and destructive, and the other inviting of the kind of discussion needed. This book is the ultimate resource for anyone who longs to consistently say the right thing at the right time.

 

"Synopsis" by , You know what your IQ* is.

You may even know what your EIQ** is.

But do you know what your EBSQ*** is?

* INTELLIGENCE QUOTIENT

** EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE QUOTIENT

*** EMOTIONAL BULLSHIT QUOTIENT

An invisible plague is wreaking havoc on human relationships. What is this destructive force? Emotional Bullshit.

In this groundbreaking book, clinical psychologist Dr. Carl Alasko contends that bullshit is everywhere and i‛s getting stronger and more hazardous to our psychological well-being every day. From the highest precincts of commerce and politics to the most average, everyday conversations, w‛re all affected by its toxicity. And yet most of us remain largely unaware of its influence. Alasko explains that this is because EBS is inspired by three interlocking dynamics inherent to our psychological structure: denial, delusion, and blame. Referred to by Alasko as the Toxic Trio, they work together in an intricate dance in which first a truth is denied, then delusion creates an alternate truth, and finally blame is shifted to someone else.

Drawing on extensive case studies from his private practice over the past twenty years, Alasko reveals that whether i‛s a casual“I forgot” or a premeditated deception, Emotional Bullshit always erodes trust and drives people apart. Absolutely no one is safe from its ruinous effects. The number-one New York Times–bestselling book On Bullshit familiarized the public with the philosophy of bullshit—and the humor that can surround it. This book tackles something that is‛t really that funny at all: how Emotional Bullshit is destroying peopl‛s relationships and, in turn, their lives. Emotional Bullshit outlines a path for recognizing and breaking free from this most vicious of cycles.

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