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Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorderby Bill Eddy
Synopses & Reviews
Divorce is difficult under the best of circumstances. Dealing with this inherently adversarial process can be highly emotional on both sides. But when a divorcing individual is a "persuasive blamer" someone who suffers from borderline personality disorder (BPD), narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), or simply has a high-conflict, manipulative personality - their behavior can have devastating ramifications for their former spouses. Splitting is a legal and psychological guidebook that everyone seeking a divorce from a persuasive blamer should own. Written by Bill Eddy, a family lawyer, divorce mediator, and experienced social worker, and Randi Kreger, BPD expert and author of the bestselling Stop Walking on Eggshells, it offers readers help for navigating the entire process of divorce: hiring and managing a divorce lawyer, reaching a reasonable settlement, protecting oneself and one's children from emotional and/or physical abuse from the former spouse, resisting false accusations, and getting enforceable court orders. The book also delves into the difficult-to-understand, aggressive behavior of persuasive blamers, offering readers psychological explanations for their former spouse's actions and help for coping emotionally with the spouse's extreme mood swings and impulsivity.* Nearly half of all marriages in the U.S. end in divorce and approximately 6 million American adults have borderline personality disorder or BPD
Book News Annotation:
People with borderline or narcissistic personality disorders often make false allegations of abuse or domestic violence during the divorce process and are prone to verbal and physical attacks, kidnapping the children, and refusal to follow court orders. In this book for general readers, Eddy, a lawyer and therapist affiliated with the National Conflict Resolution Center, and Kreger, author of several books on living with a partner or family member with borderline personality disorder (Walking on Eggshells), offer guidelines on dealing with these manipulative behaviors, finding a lawyer, and preparing for the worst, illustrated with real-life examples from Eddy's legal practice. Early chapters review the features of borderline and narcissistic personality disorder and describe the emotional reactions and counter-tactics these soon-to-be ex-spouses will likely display. Later chapters explain today's divorce court culture and give advice on working with experts such as court and private counselors, psychologists, appraisers, and accountants. An appendix offers sample letters to professionals from the authors of the book. The book will be useful to those in married or unmarried relationships and to attorneys and others involved in divorce cases. Annotation ©2011 Book News, Inc., Portland, OR (booknews.com)
Splitting is an essential legal and psychological guide for anyone divorcing a ìpersuasive blamerî: someone who suffers from borderline personality disorder (BPD) or narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). This book is written by Bill Eddy, a family court attorney and therapist, and Randi Kreger, author of the bestselling Stop Walking on Eggshells and founder of the popular website www.bpdcentral.com.
Divorce often leads to unresolved feelings of anger, betrayal, and sadness. The Divorce Recovery Workbook offers a unique approach using mindfulness and positive psychology to help readers cope with these negative emotions so that they can rebuild their lives. With exercises and tips for managing a difficult co-parenting relationship and powerful practices based in self-compassion and forgiveness, readers will learn to heal, forgive, and form new, loving relationships.
In The High-Conflict Custody Battle, a team of legal and psychology experts present a practical guidebook for people going through a high-conflict custody battle. Readers dealing with overtly hostile, inflammatory, deceitful, or manipulative ex-spouses will learn how to find an attorney and prepare for a custody evaluation. The book also provides helpful tips to defend against false accusations, and gives a realistic portrayal of what to expect during the legal process.
Is your ex-spouse trying to gain custody of your kids? Has he or she launched a campaign to make you look like a bad parent, both in the eyes of your children and the law? You arent alone. Unfortunately, high-conflict custody battles are all-too-common in todays world. So how can you arm yourself with the mental and legal resources needed to survive this difficult time and keep your kids safe?
In The High-Conflict Custody Battle, a team of legal and psychology experts present a practical guidebook for people like you who are engaged in a high-conflict custody battle. If you are dealing with an overtly hostile, inflammatory, deceitful, or manipulative ex-spouse, you will learn how to find and work with an attorney and prepare for a custody evaluation. The book also provides helpful tips you can use to defend yourself against false accusations, and gives a realistic portrayal of what to expect during a legal fight.
Going through a divorce is hard, but going through a custody battle can feel like war. Dont go in unprepared. With this book as your guide, you will be able to navigate this difficult process and learn powerful skills that will help you maintain a healthy relationship with your kids, fight unfair accusations, and uphold your rights as a parent.
If you have recently gone through a divorce, you might have unresolved feelings of anger toward your ex spouse; find yourself reeling from past betrayals both big and small; become stressed when you think about the legal and emotional ramifications of the divorce; or you may even experience symptoms of depression. You are not alone, and there are ways you can start to heal.
The Divorce Recovery Workbook offers a unique approach using mindfulness and positive psychology to help you cope with these negative emotions so that you can start to rebuild your life. Youll learn powerful practices based in self-compassion to help you heal, forgive, and form new, loving relationships. The book also includes helpful exercises and tips for managing a difficult co-parenting relationship.
If youve gone through divorce and are struggling to move on, there comes a moment when you must make a choice. You can let the difficult situation define who you are, or you can use it as a jumping off point for making radical changes in your life—positive changes that will leave you stronger and happier than ever before! This workbook will help you start.
About the Author
Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD, has been a family lawyer for over eighteen years and a therapist for over twelve years. He is senior family mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center in San Diego, CA, and president of the High Conflict Institute based in Scottsdale, AZ. He is a faculty member at Pepperdine University School of Law and the National Judicial College and has provided seminars to judges, lawyers, counselors, and others on the subject of managing high-conflict personalities in legal disputes.
Table of Contents
Preparing yourself — Understanding borderline and narcissistic personalities — Blamers and targets : it's all your fault! — Managing a blamer with an assertive approach — Preparing for a court battle with a blamer — Today's divorce court culture — Hiring a lawyer who understands — Working with your lawyer to handle predictable crises — Gathering evidence about your blamer's private persona — Working with experts and evaluators — What to expect from the blamer's attorney — What to expect at a hearing or trial with a blamer — Considering alternatives to litigation with a blamer — Managing the rocky postdivorce relationship.
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