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Original Essays | September 23, 2009

Jonathan Lethem: IMG Stops: On Those Things My New Novel Forgot to Be About, Maybe



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This title in other formats:

Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You

by Susan Forward

Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You Cover

ISBN13: 9780060928971
ISBN10: 0060928972
Condition: Standard
All Product Details

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Synopses & Reviews

Publisher Comments:

"If you really loved me..."

"After all I've done for you..."

"How can you be so selfish..."

Do any of the above sound familiar? They're all examples of emotional blackmail, a powerful form of manipulation in which people close to us threaten to punish us for not doing what they want. Emotional blackmailers know how much we value our relationships with them. They know our vulnerabilities and our deepest secrets. They are our mothers, our partners, our bosses and coworkers, our friends and our lovers. And no matter how much they care about us, they use this intimate knowledge to give themselves the payoff they want: our compliance.

Susan Forward knows what pushes our hot buttons. Just as John Gray illuminates the communications gap between the sexes in Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, and Harriet Lerner describes an intricate dynamic in The Dance of Anger, so Susan Forward presents the anatomy of a relationship damaged by manipulation, and gives readers an arsenal of tools to fight back. In her clear, no-nonsense style, Forward provides powerful, practical strategies for blackmail targets, including checklists, practice scenarios and concrete communications techniques that will strengthen relationships and break the blackmail cycle for good.

Review:

"Breathe a sigh of relief! Susan Forward helps you identify and correct an intensely destructive and confusing pattern of relating with those you love. I highly recommend this important book!"(--Susan Jeffers, Ph.D., author of Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway)

Synopsis:

In this groundbreaking book, the "New York Times" bestselling author of "Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them" and "Toxic Parents" dissects the anatomy of a relationship damaged by manipulation and outlines specific steps which readers can take to strengthen relationships and break the blackmail cycle for good.

About the Author

Susan Forward, Ph.D., is an internationally acclaimed therapist, lecturer, and author. Her books — which include the #1 New York Times bestsellers Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them and Toxic Parents, as well as Emotional Blackmail, Obsessive Love, Betrayal of Innocence, and Money Demons — have been translated into more than fifteen languages. In addition to more than twenty years in private practice, she has served as a group therapist, instructor, and consultant in many Southern California medical and psychiatric facilities.She is much sought after as a guest in the media, and she hosted a daily national call-in radio program on ABC talk radio for six years.

What Our Readers Are Saying

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Average customer rating based on 1 comment:
Edward Martin III, September 11, 2006 (view all comments by Edward Martin III)
An astonishing and brilliant book that lays bare one of the most ubiquitous and horrifying hidden aspects of relationships gone bad. Susan Forward's extensive use of real-world and meaningful examples pulls this kind of relationship poison out into a bright light, and does not allow it to hide again.

A measure of how powerful emotional blackmail can be is to mention it during practically any kvetch session addressing relationship issues. Dollars to doughnuts at least one person will perk up and say "Holy smokes, that's EXACTLY it!".

More than just a revelation, Forward provides positive, decisive tools for dealing with situations where emotional blackmail is the driving force. These tools are primarily targeted to halt the blackmail situation at once, but Forward also makes sure that if at all possible, mechanisms are installed to help encourage behavior change from both directions of the relationship where possible. This includes, once again, extensive and detailed examples from her own casefiles.

"Emotional Blackmail" is not only helpful for detecting and coping with existing problems, but even without the presence of a blackmailing situation, these tools and techniques help create a more healthy psyche and a more healthy partner for any relationship, from familial to intimate to professional.
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Product Details

ISBN:
9780060928971
Subtitle:
When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You
Author:
Forward, Susan
Author:
by Susan Forward and Donna Frazier
Author:
Frazier, Donna
Publisher:
Harper Paperbacks
Location:
New York, NY :
Subject:
General
Subject:
Interpersonal Relations
Subject:
Control (psychology)
Subject:
Psychological abuse
Subject:
Control
Subject:
Manipulative behavior
Subject:
Machiavellianism.
Subject:
Power
Subject:
General Self-Help
Copyright:
Edition Number:
1st ed.
Edition Description:
1st HarperPerennial ed.
Series Volume:
97-471
Publication Date:
January 1998
Binding:
Paperback
Grade Level:
General/trade
Language:
English
Illustrations:
Yes
Pages:
272
Dimensions:
804x531x67 45

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