Never Eat Alone: And Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a Time

A cover article in Inc. magazine on YaYa CEO Keith Ferrazzi's secrets to networking generated the largest response the magazine has received in the past ten years. Now Ferrazzi, working with Inc. writer Tahl Raz, explains the guiding principles he has mastered over a lifetime of reaching out to explain what it takes to build the kind of lasting, mutually beneficial relationships that lead to professional and personal success.

For Ferrazzi, the son of a small-town steelworker and a cleaning lady, the ability to connect with others paved the way to a scholarship at Yale, a Harvard MBA, and a prestigious posting to management consulting giant Deloitte Consulting. He discovered early on in life that the key to what makes successful people different from everyone else is the way they use the power of relationships. The sharing of knowledge, resources, time, and energy with people they know and trust is the foundation of their success. In Never Eat Alone, Ferrazzi distinguishes such genuine relationship-building from the crude, desperate glad-handing usually associated with the word “networking.” He distills the ways he uses to reach out to others into practical proven principles, such as:

• Look for mentors: Link up with people who can help guide your career and can introduce you to the people you need to know. Then become a mentor yourself.
• Be interesting: Develop the style, knowledge, and expertise that will draw others to you.
• Build it before you need it: Create lists of people you know — and those you want to know — and maintain ongoing contacts with them throughout your life and career — not just when you need a favor.
• Never eat alone: Avoid the fate of “invisibility” — use potential social settings to constantly reach out to colleagues and future contacts.

Ferrazzi's form of connecting is based on a spirit of generosity. He cautions readers not to keep score. Helping colleagues connect with other friends creates the kind of goodwill that inevitably pays its own dividends. Full of specific advice on handling rejection, getting past gatekeepers, and more, Never Eat Alone is destined to be the How to Win Friends and Influence People of the new millennium.

"The youngest partner in Deloitte Consulting's history and founder of the consulting company Ferrazzi Greenlight, the author quickly aims in this useful volume to distinguish his networking techniques from generic handshakes and business cards tossed like confetti. At conferences, Ferrazzi practices what he calls the 'deep bump' — a 'fast and meaningful' slice of intimacy that reveals his uniqueness to interlocutors and quickly forges the kind of emotional connection through which trust, and lots of business, can soon follow. That bump distinguishes this book from so many others that stress networking; writing with Fortune Small Business editor Raz, Ferrazzi creates a real relationship with readers. Ferrazzi may overstate his case somewhat when he says, 'People who instinctively establish a strong network of relationships have always created great businesses,' but his clear and well-articulated steps for getting access, getting close and staying close make for a substantial leg up. Each of 31 short chapters highlights a specific technique or concept, from 'Warming the Cold Call' and 'Managing the Gatekeeper' to following up, making small talk, 'pinging' (or sending 'quick, casual' greetings) and defining oneself to the point where one's missives become 'the e-mail you always read because of who it's from.' In addition to variations on the theme of hard work, Ferrazzi offers counterintuitive perspectives that ring true: 'vulnerability... is one of the most underappreciated assets in business today'; 'too many people confuse secrecy with importance.' No one will confuse this book with its competitors. (On sale Feb. 22)" Publishers Weekly (Copyright Reed Business Information, Inc.)

"Everyone in business knows relationships and having a network of contacts is important. Finally we have a real-world guide to how to create your own high-powered network tailored to your career goals and personal style." Jon Miller, CEO, AOL

"Your network is your net worth. This book shows you how to add to your personal bottom line with better networking and bigger relationships. What a solid but easy read! Keith's personality shines through like the great (and hip) teacher you never got in college or business school. Buy this book for yourself, and tomorrow go out and buy one for your kid brother!" Tim Sanders, author of Love Is the Killer App: How to Win Business and Influence Friends and leadership coach at Yahoo!

"Keith's insights on how to turn a conference, a meeting, or a casual contact into an extraordinary opportunity for mutual success make invaluable reading for people in all stages of their professional and personal lives. I strongly recommend it." Jeffrey E. Garten, Dean, Yale School of Management

YaYa CEO Ferrazzi works with Inc. writer Raz to explains the guiding principles he has mastered over a lifetime of reaching out to explain what it takes to build the kind of lasting, mutually beneficial relationships that lead to professional and personal success.

Do you want to get ahead in life?

Climb the ladder to personal success?

The secret, master networker Keith Ferrazzi claims, is in reaching out to other people. As Ferrazzi discovered early in life, what distinguishes highly successful people from everyone else is the way they use the power of relationships—so that everyone wins.

In Never Eat Alone, Ferrazzi lays out the specific steps—and inner mindset—he uses to reach out to connect with the thousands of colleagues, friends, and associates on his Rolodex, people he has helped and who have helped him.

The son of a small-town steelworker and a cleaning lady, Ferrazzi first used his remarkable ability to connect with others to pave the way to a scholarship at Yale, a Harvard MBA, and several top executive posts. Not yet out of his thirties, he developed a network of relationships that stretched from Washingtons corridors of power to Hollywoods A-list, leading to him being named one of Crains 40 Under 40 and selected as a Global Leader for Tomorrow by the Davos World Economic Forum.

Ferrazzi's form of connecting to the world around him is based on generosity, helping friends connect with other friends. Ferrazzi distinguishes genuine relationship-building from the crude, desperate glad-handling usually associated with “networking.” He then distills his system of reaching out to people into practical, proven principles. Among them:

Dont keep score: Its never simply about getting what you want. Its about getting what you want and making sure that the people who are important to you get what they want, too.

“Ping” constantly: The Ins and Outs of reaching out to those in your circle of contacts all the time—not just when you need something.

Never eat alone: The dynamics of status are the same whether youre working at a corporation or attending a society event— “invisibility” is a fate worse than failure.

In the course of the book, Ferrazzi outlines the timeless strategies shared by the worlds most connected individuals, from Katherine Graham to Bill Clinton, Vernon Jordan to the Dalai Lama.

Chock full of specific advice on handling rejection, getting past gatekeepers, becoming a “conference commando,” and more, Never Eat Alone is destined to take its place alongside How to Win Friends and Influence People as an inspirational classic.

Keith Ferrazzi is founder and CEO of Ferrazzi Greenlight. He recently served as CEO of YaYa media, an interactive company. Before joining YaYa, he was chief marketing officer for Starwood Hotels & Resorts Worldwide, and CMO at Deloitte Consulting, where he was the the youngest partner in their history. Named one of the "40 Under 40" busines leaders by Crain's Business, Ferrazzi is a frequent writer and commentator for The Wall Street Journal, Harvard Business Review, Inc., CNN, and CNBC. He lives in Los Angeles. Tahl Raz is a former reporter at Inc. magazine.