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Fired!: Tales of the Canned, Canceled, Downsized, and Dismissed

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Fired!: Tales of the Canned, Canceled, Downsized, and Dismissed Cover

ISBN13: 9780743289856
ISBN10: 0743289854
Condition: Standard
Dustjacket: Standard
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Synopses & Reviews

Publisher Comments:

If you've ever been fired, you're in good company. That's what actress and writer Annabelle Gurwitch discovered when she was fired by her idol Woody Allen ("You look retarded"). She confided her tale of woe to her friend Felicity Huffman, who made Annabelle laugh with her own stories. Annabelle realized that there was a world of people out there waiting to laugh at the experience that virtually everyone shares, and she began to collect stories of being fired from friends and colleagues. Soon she was contributing regular "Fired!" segments to Day to Day on NPR and gathering friends to appear with her in sold-out performances of Fired! in Los Angeles and New York. Fired!, her documentary film inspired by these stories, comes out in 2006.

This book is a collection of hilarious but true tales from people who've all gotten the ax, the boot, or been canned at some point in their lives. In "That's a Fact," Andy Borowitz tells the story of being fired as a writer for the television sitcom The Facts of Life after being informed that he just didn't "get" Tootie. "Take that hanger off your head, you idiot!" were the last words Jeff Garlin heard before being fired from Spec's Music store after only one day on the job, just one of the many firings he recounts in "That Garlin Boy." In "Jimmy the Idiot," Dana Gould sums up his firing from the cast of the sitcom Working that led him to become a producer of The Simpsons: "In the second episode, I was a math genius, in the third — a motocross racer, and in the fourth episode I was replaced by a chimp, but nobody noticed." In "Poor Judgment," Illeana Douglas tells about being fired after a few hours of working as a coat check girl: "How is it possible to be fired from hanging coats? I have arms. I know what coats are. I don't come home and throw my coat on the floor. I hang it in a closet. I have experience." How did Bob Saget find out he was being phased out of his job on The Morning Program? "One day I showed up and my hosting chair was gone!"

With an all-star cast from Tim Allen to Morgan Spurlock, from Anne Meara to David Cross, and contributions from people from all over the country, this book proves it's not the bounce that counts, it's the bounce back.

Review:

"Gurwitch's popular Web site (www.firedbyannabellegurwitch.com) entices people to turn in their best tales of their worst firings; the cream of that crop is gathered in this star-studded collection of misery. The book is divided into chapters with titles like 'The Job So Terrible You Can Only Hope to Be Fired' and 'The Time You Deserved to Be Fired,' but mostly it's just tales of horrible things happening to funny people. Gurwitch's own piece — in which she's canned from her role in a play written and directed by an officious Woody Allen, who told her 'You look retarded' — is par for the course, with its droll humor and dash of celebrity. Comedians Bill Maher, D.L. Hughley, Bob Saget and Andy Borowitz all get in their zingers, while Illeana Douglas composes a poem that ranges from getting fired as a coat check girl ('How is it/possible to be fired hanging coats?/I have arms. I know what coats are') to high farce with borderline psychotic filmmakers. The few noncelebrities invited to share their woes are generally less funny, though they tend to be more unpredictable, such as the ex?White House chef who provides a nice recipe for seared scallops. (Mar. 7)" Publishers Weekly Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review:

"Gurwitch's popular Web site (www.firedbyannabellegurwitch.com) entices people to turn in their best tales of their worst firings; the cream of that crop is gathered in this star-studded collection of misery. The book is divided into chapters with titles like 'The Job So Terrible You Can Only Hope to Be Fired' and 'The Time You Deserved to Be Fired,' but mostly it's just tales of horrible things happening to funny people. Gurwitch's own piece — in which she's canned from her role in a play written and directed by an officious Woody Allen, who told her 'You look retarded' — is par for the course, with its droll humor and dash of celebrity. Comedians Bill Maher, D.L. Hughley, Bob Saget and Andy Borowitz all get in their zingers, while Illeana Douglas composes a poem that ranges from getting fired as a coat check girl ('How is it/possible to be fired hanging coats?/I have arms. I know what coats are') to high farce with borderline psychotic filmmakers. The few noncelebrities invited to share their woes are generally less funny, though they tend to be more unpredictable, such as the ex — White House chef who provides a nice recipe for seared scallops." Publishers Weekly (Copyright Reed Business Information, Inc.)

Review:

"Getting hired by Woody Allen? Hundreds of actors can make that boast; it's not a very exclusive club anymore. But getting fired by Woody Allen? That's a rarer, or at least less public, phenomenon, and in 2003 Annabelle Gurwitch had the good fortune to experience it for herself. After casting the actress in a play he had written, Allen started doubting her abilities soon after they went into rehearsals.... Washington Post Book Review (read the entire Washington Post review)

Review:

"It's the best kind of comedy — rooted in empathy and with a serious point. People love to hear these stories. People need to hear these stories." Patrick Beach, Cox News Service

Review:

"A frank and funny look at job loss and downsizing." Madeline Osberger, The Associated Press

Review:

"A comedic twist — to all those who have been advised by a boss that their services are no longer required." Stewart Oksenhorn, The Aspen Times

Review:

"She has turned her misfortune into an entertainment most of us can identify with." John Defore, Hollywood Reporter

Review:

"Despite the wisecracking in Fired! the book is clearly intended to inspire." Wall Street Journal

Synopsis:

From an all-star lineup of contributors comes this collection of hilarious-but-true tales of being axed, downsized, booted, pink-slipped, and terminated. Soon to be a touring play and a documentary film.

Table of Contents

Introduction
Who Came Up with the Phrase "You're fired"?

Chapter 1: The Job So Terrible You Can Only Hope to Be Fired
That's a Fact by Andy Borowitz
The Big Red Shoe Diaries by Paul Feig
Bimmy in Training by Larry Charles
The Snuggery by Eric Gilliland
Bruce Cameron Remodels Your Redundancy
Don't Call Me, I'll Call You by Judy Gold
Poor Judgment by Illeana Douglas
Number One Pooper-Scooper by Robert Reich
Nesting by Jessica van der Valk
When Children Fire You by Ian Gomez

Chapter 2: The Firing You Didn't See Coming
The Little Fuck That Could by Sandra Tsing Loh
Extra! Extra! by Brian Unger
Schadenfreude by Anne Meara
Sent to Cyberia by Lori Gottlieb
Harry Shearer Minds His Credibility Gap
Fired by the Queen and Dumped by Trump by Joyce Beber
Felicity Huffman on Popping Your Cherry
Dead Man Working by Jason Kravits
The Do-Bee by Martha McCully
David Cross Might Just Be Too Big
Mauve by Jack Merrill
Fried by Hillary Carlip
One of Them Stories by Tate Donovan
Steak Today by Wildman Weiner
Substandard Performance by Anonymous
Dahling, It's Eva Gabor by Glenn Rosenblum

Chapter 3: The Time You Deserved to Be Fired
Video, Video by Paul F. Tompkins
Short Ends by Jonathan Groff
Crimes and Mythdemeanors by Annabelle Gurwitch
That Garlin Boy: An Interview with Jeff Garlin
Right On! by Jill Soloway
Friendless by Fisher Stevens
Bill Maher: Warm Body Telling Jokes
The Postman Never Rings Twice by Richard Colburn
Ba-looney Tunes by Matt Walsh
Grrl Genius Gets Canned by Cathryn Michon
All Those Parts by Shirley Gurwitch

Chapter 4: The Time Getting Fired Leads You to Something Better
Patricia Heaton Hopes You Enjoy Your Stay
Jimmy the Idiot by Dana Gould
The World's Worst Waiter by Jeff Kahn
I'll Knock Your Block Off by Andy Dick
Bob Saget Doesn't Sit Here Anymore
Can You Get Fired If You Aren't Being Paid? by Morgan Spurlock
I Was the Master by Tim Allen
Madison Scare Garden by Elizabeth Warner
D. L. Hughley: Lot and Lobby to Late Night
No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service by Maxine Lapiduss
But We'd Love to Work with You Again by Judd Apatow
Shock and Remorse by Lilly Anderson

Chapter 5: The Time You Had to Fire Yourself
A Thoroughly Modern Firing by Tonya Pinkins
Remembrance of Porn Past by Scott Carter
Last Shift at the Fetish Deli by Mark Haskell Smith
Attractive in a Bad Way by Rob Cohen
Cappi's Pizza and Sangweech Shop by Carl Capotorto
No More Rain Days by Janet M. Lorenz
Recipe for the Recently Redundant by Walter Scheib
The Fired Song by Roy Zimmerman
The Letter You Wish You'd Sent to Your Boss! Now You Can!

Notes
Acknowledgments

What Our Readers Are Saying

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Average customer rating based on 1 comment:

Jessica van der Valk, July 18, 2008 (view all comments by Jessica van der Valk)
Even though I wrote a story for this book, I CAN BE OBJECTIVE because my contribution is only two pages. (The best two pages, by the way.)

This book is a PERFECT gift for any friend or coworker who has just been fired and is not thrilled to bits about it. (The last job I was fired from, I WAS thrilled to bits because I had already taken another job and was facing the prospect of "calling in sick" until all my sick days were used up, but that's another story for another book.)

Anyway, this might also be a great gift for employers to give out as a parting gift to the employees they are about to fire. "Fired!" will make your fired employees feel like they have finally joined the ranks of the Truly Talented and Funny people who have fired stories to tell - and it might make you feel as if you have given them a promotion instead of a kick in the pants, so it's a win-win kind of gift.

This book will help the fired feel as if they are in good company (FABulous people have written their fired! stories in this book!) and that they can overcome the firing to be happy, productive and funny people, with a good story to tell -- which is what life is all about anyway, right?
Was this comment helpful? | Yes | No
(2 of 4 readers found this comment helpful)

Product Details

ISBN:
9780743289856
Subtitle:
Tales of the Canned, Canceled, Downsized, and Dismissed
Author:
Gurwitch, Annabelle
Edited by:
Annabelle Gurwitch
Author:
Annabelle Gurwitch
Author:
Saget, Bob
Author:
Reich, Robert
Author:
Maher, Bill
Author:
Huffman, Felicity
Publisher:
Touchstone
Subject:
Employees
Subject:
Form - Essays
Subject:
Humor
Subject:
Dismissal of
Subject:
Topic - Business and Professional
Subject:
General Humor
Subject:
Humor : Form - Essays
Subject:
Poetry : American - General
Copyright:
Publication Date:
February 2006
Binding:
ELECTRONIC
Grade Level:
General/trade
Language:
English
Pages:
256
Dimensions:
8.68x5.80x1.01 in. .77 lbs.

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Related Subjects

Arts and Entertainment » Humor » Business and Professional
Arts and Entertainment » Humor » General
Arts and Entertainment » Humor » Work and School
Fiction and Poetry » Graphic Novels » Anthologies
Fiction and Poetry » Literature » A to Z

Fired!: Tales of the Canned, Canceled, Downsized, and Dismissed Used Hardcover
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$9.50 In Stock
Product details 256 pages Touchstone Books - English 9780743289856 Reviews:
"Publishers Weekly Review" by , "Gurwitch's popular Web site (www.firedbyannabellegurwitch.com) entices people to turn in their best tales of their worst firings; the cream of that crop is gathered in this star-studded collection of misery. The book is divided into chapters with titles like 'The Job So Terrible You Can Only Hope to Be Fired' and 'The Time You Deserved to Be Fired,' but mostly it's just tales of horrible things happening to funny people. Gurwitch's own piece — in which she's canned from her role in a play written and directed by an officious Woody Allen, who told her 'You look retarded' — is par for the course, with its droll humor and dash of celebrity. Comedians Bill Maher, D.L. Hughley, Bob Saget and Andy Borowitz all get in their zingers, while Illeana Douglas composes a poem that ranges from getting fired as a coat check girl ('How is it/possible to be fired hanging coats?/I have arms. I know what coats are') to high farce with borderline psychotic filmmakers. The few noncelebrities invited to share their woes are generally less funny, though they tend to be more unpredictable, such as the ex?White House chef who provides a nice recipe for seared scallops. (Mar. 7)" Publishers Weekly Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
"Publishers Weekly Review" by , "Gurwitch's popular Web site (www.firedbyannabellegurwitch.com) entices people to turn in their best tales of their worst firings; the cream of that crop is gathered in this star-studded collection of misery. The book is divided into chapters with titles like 'The Job So Terrible You Can Only Hope to Be Fired' and 'The Time You Deserved to Be Fired,' but mostly it's just tales of horrible things happening to funny people. Gurwitch's own piece — in which she's canned from her role in a play written and directed by an officious Woody Allen, who told her 'You look retarded' — is par for the course, with its droll humor and dash of celebrity. Comedians Bill Maher, D.L. Hughley, Bob Saget and Andy Borowitz all get in their zingers, while Illeana Douglas composes a poem that ranges from getting fired as a coat check girl ('How is it/possible to be fired hanging coats?/I have arms. I know what coats are') to high farce with borderline psychotic filmmakers. The few noncelebrities invited to share their woes are generally less funny, though they tend to be more unpredictable, such as the ex — White House chef who provides a nice recipe for seared scallops." Publishers Weekly (Copyright Reed Business Information, Inc.)
"Review" by , "It's the best kind of comedy — rooted in empathy and with a serious point. People love to hear these stories. People need to hear these stories."
"Review" by , "A frank and funny look at job loss and downsizing."
"Review" by , "A comedic twist — to all those who have been advised by a boss that their services are no longer required."
"Review" by , "She has turned her misfortune into an entertainment most of us can identify with."
"Review" by , "Despite the wisecracking in Fired! the book is clearly intended to inspire."
"Synopsis" by , From an all-star lineup of contributors comes this collection of hilarious-but-true tales of being axed, downsized, booted, pink-slipped, and terminated. Soon to be a touring play and a documentary film.
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