Amy's Answering Machine: Messages from Mom

Does your mother call you in a panic whenever there's a storm warning for your area? Does she act as though it's her duty to alert you to every health story on the news? Have you ever been briefly out of touch with your mother only to find she's phoned everyone short of the National Guard to track you down — or, just maybe, are you that mother?

Take comfort in knowing you're not alone, as Amy Borkowsky shares more than a decade's worth of maddening phone messages from her hilariously overprotective mom. Based on the hit CD of the same name, Amy's Answering Machine features actual messages in which Amy's mom warns her not to wear a red bathrobe because a friend's grandson "said that red is a gang color"...advises her not to get a cat because "what if you finally found a nice guy and he was allergic?"...cautions her not to wear crepe-soled shoes because "they were just saying on the news that if you're ever in a plane crash, crepe is no good if you have to go down the slide."

Amy also reveals the stories behind the messages and shares calls not available on CD, each one brimming with the worry and annoying comments only a loving mother could dish out.

The same warnings and suggestions that had Amy cringing are sure to have you doubled over with laughter. But before you turn the page, take some advice from Amy's mom: Make sure you have plenty of reading light, because squinting causes crow's feet.

Does your mother call you in a panic when she hears a storm warning for your area? Does she act as though it's her duty to alert you to every health story she hears on the news? Have you ever been briefly out of contact with your mother only to find she has phoned friends, neighbors and even the hospital looking for you — or, just maybe, are you that mother?

If so, Amy's Answering Machine — based on the hit CD of the same name — is sure to elicit laughs of recognition as Amy shares actual messages in which her mother...
-- warns her not to wear a red bathrobe because "my friend Eileen's grandson said that red is a gang color."
-- reminds her that the wait at the DMV is very long, "so before you get in line, you may want to empty your bladder."
-- cautions her not to wear crepe-soled shoes on a plane because "they were just saying on the news that crepe is no good if you have to go down the slide."

The book includes messages from the CD plus the stories behind them; additional messages never before released; e-mails in which Amy's fans share the most extreme calls from their own mothers; and tips on dealing with a mother who uses the phone cord as an umbilical cord.

Thanks to Amy's Answering Machine, children of all ages can take comfort in knowing they don't suffer alone...and mothers can show their kids that, compared to Amy's more, they're not that bad.

Amy Borkowsky is a Manhattan-based comedian and has won numerous awards as an ad agency creative director. Residing almost 1,000 miles away from her mother, Amy enjoys sitting too close to the TV, talking to strangers, and leaving the house without a sweater.