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My Horizontal Life: a Collection of One-night Stands

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My Horizontal Life: a Collection of One-night Stands Cover

ISBN13: 9781582346182
ISBN10: 1582346186
Condition: Standard
All Product Details

 

Synopses & Reviews

Publisher Comments:

In this raucous collection of true-life stories, actress and comedian Chelsea Handler recounts her time spent in the social trenches with that wild, strange, irresistible, and often gratifying beast: the one-night stand.

You've either done it or know someone who has: the one-night stand, the familiar outcome of a night spent at a bar, sometimes the sole payoff for your friend's irritating wedding, or the only relief from a disastrous vacation. Often embarrassing and uncomfortable, occasionally outlandish, but most times just a necessary and irresistible evil, the one-night stand is a social rite as old as sex itself and as common as a bar stool.

Enter Chelsea Handler. Gorgeous, sharp, and anything but shy, Chelsea loves men and lots of them. My Horizontal Life chronicles her romp through the different bedrooms of a variety of suitors, a no-holds-barred account of what can happen between a man and a sometimes very intoxicated, outgoing woman during one night of passion. From her short fling with a Vegas stripper to her even shorter dalliance with a well-endowed little person, from her uncomfortable tryst with a cruise ship performer to her misguided rebound with a man who likes to play leather dress-up, Chelsea recalls the highs and lows of her one-night stands with hilarious honesty. Encouraged by her motley collection of friends (aka: her partners in crime) but challenged by her family members (who at times find themselves a surprise part of the encounter), Chelsea hits bottom and bounces back, unafraid to share the gritty details. My Horizontal Life is one guilty pleasure you won't be ashamed to talk about in the morning.

Review:

"Opening with a cute story from when she was seven and photographed her parents having sex, stand-up comedian Handler goes on to discuss the virtues of the one-night stand, which amount to having sex early enough so you're not months into a relationship before you discover he's into 'anal beads and duct tape.' She discusses her quest for sex with a 'black man,' which doesn't work out because the date she finds on ChocolateSingles.com has a penis so large, she 'would have had to be the size of the Lincoln Tunnel to accommodate that thing.' After him, there's a 'little midget,' but she sobers up before sleeping with him. Next come a number of would-be partners with penises too small to consider. Finally, there's a guy Handler does sleep with, only an embarrassing incident involving a 'giant skid mark' prevents her from seeing him again. By the end, Handler considers settling down with one man, which might actually net her more sex than these mostly unconsummated one-night stands. Anyone who laughs at the mere mention of vaginas and penises may find Handler's book almost as much fun as getting drunk and waking up in some stranger's bed. Agent, Michael Broussard Dupree. (June)" Publishers Weekly (Copyright Reed Business Information, Inc.)

About the Author

Chelsea Handler was born in Livingston, New Jersey, and has toured the country doing stand-up. Now settled in Los Angeles, she can be seen at the Comedy Store and the Laugh Factory, and as one of the stars on Oxygen's Girls Behaving Badly. Chelsea has guest-starred on programs such as Spy TV, My Wife and Kids, The Bernie Mac Show, and The Practice. Her stand-up will soon be televised on VH1's Love Lounge, Comedy Central's Premium Blend, and HBO's broadcast of the Aspen Comedy Festival.

What Our Readers Are Saying

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Average customer rating based on 2 comments:

Katelyn, January 1, 2013 (view all comments by Katelyn)
So open and honest about who she was. Also very laugh out loud funny.
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(2 of 4 readers found this comment helpful)
Bet, July 12, 2007 (view all comments by Bet)
I don't think this should be shelved in "Erotica". It's really more humor. It's a fun book that you could read in front of your grandmother.
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Product Details

ISBN:
9781582346182
Author:
Handler, Chelsea
Publisher:
Bloomsbury Publishing PLC
Subject:
Sexuality
Subject:
Entertainment & Performing Arts
Subject:
Man-woman relationships
Subject:
Human Sexuality
Subject:
Sex
Subject:
Entertainment & Performing Arts - Actors & Actresses
Subject:
Entertainment & Performing Arts - Comedians
Subject:
Entertainment & Performing Arts - General
Subject:
Personal Memoirs
Subject:
Women
Subject:
Biography - General
Copyright:
Edition Description:
Trade Paperback
Publication Date:
20050631
Binding:
TRADE PAPER
Grade Level:
General/trade
Language:
English
Pages:
213
Dimensions:
8.25 x 5.53 x 0.595 in

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Related Subjects

Arts and Entertainment » Art » Sale Books
Arts and Entertainment » Film and Television » Actors » Biographies
Arts and Entertainment » Film and Television » Featured Titles
Arts and Entertainment » Humor » General
Arts and Entertainment » Humor » Narrative
Arts and Entertainment » Sale Books
Biography » Entertainment and Performing Arts
Biography » General
Biography » Women
Featured Titles » Bestsellers
Featured Titles » General
Fiction and Poetry » Erotica » General
Fiction and Poetry » Literature » A to Z

My Horizontal Life: a Collection of One-night Stands Used Trade Paper
0 stars - 0 reviews
$7.95 In Stock
Product details 213 pages Bloomsbury Publishing PLC - English 9781582346182 Reviews:
"Publishers Weekly Review" by , "Opening with a cute story from when she was seven and photographed her parents having sex, stand-up comedian Handler goes on to discuss the virtues of the one-night stand, which amount to having sex early enough so you're not months into a relationship before you discover he's into 'anal beads and duct tape.' She discusses her quest for sex with a 'black man,' which doesn't work out because the date she finds on ChocolateSingles.com has a penis so large, she 'would have had to be the size of the Lincoln Tunnel to accommodate that thing.' After him, there's a 'little midget,' but she sobers up before sleeping with him. Next come a number of would-be partners with penises too small to consider. Finally, there's a guy Handler does sleep with, only an embarrassing incident involving a 'giant skid mark' prevents her from seeing him again. By the end, Handler considers settling down with one man, which might actually net her more sex than these mostly unconsummated one-night stands. Anyone who laughs at the mere mention of vaginas and penises may find Handler's book almost as much fun as getting drunk and waking up in some stranger's bed. Agent, Michael Broussard Dupree. (June)" Publishers Weekly (Copyright Reed Business Information, Inc.)
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