Both Sides Now: One Man's Journey Through Womanhood

The courageous and heart-wrenching story of a man's decision to risk it all to be true to himself.

Imagine waking up one morning in the wrong body-and that body is the wrong gender. What would you do? Would you experience the world differently? Would your politics change? Would you just accept that this was how you were destined to live out the rest of your life? Or would you fight with every ounce of strength you have to find your way back home- to the body that is familiar and comfortable, to the person you know yourself to be?

Both Sides Now is a vivid and compelling account of how one man's search for wholeness led him through multiple, complex, and life-threatening surgeries that transformed him not only physically but emotionally and spiritually as well. Born with the body of a female, Dhillon Khosla never felt fully at ease in his own skin. He knew very early on that his true identity was male, but spent nearly twenty years repressing this knowledge and trying to embrace his female form. Shortly after turning twenty-eight, he came across an article about men who were born with female bodies and had undergone surgeries to reclaim their male identity. As soon as he began reading their stories, Dhillon felt flashes of recognition stirring within and-for the first time-hope.

In this spellbinding memoir, Dhillon discusses openly and honestly what it has been like to live first as a woman and now as a man. Through anecdotes from his work in the courthouse, and his experiences on dates, in bars, and at strip clubs, he shares unique and profound insights into the sexes and our social mores. He also shows us that experiencing life as both genders leads to the understanding that the spiritual consequences of our actions are far more important than the political ones. But ultimately, Both Sides Now is a story about what it truly means to love oneself: the willingness to endure numerous trials and tribulations to be true to your inner voice, even in the face of extreme adversity, and no matter what the cost.

"In filling a gap in transgender memoirs, Khosla avoids the usual arc of transsexual memoirs, which start with childhood gender discomfort and the build up to the decision to transition, and instead employs a clever, if distracting, structure: he begins with his decision to become a man and weaves childhood memories and surreal dream sequences (in italics) with his story of testosterone injections and surgeries (there are plenty of these: mastectomy, hysterectomy and two kinds of genital reassignment surgeries). Khosla shares his emotional tumult when he hears 'sir' from some people and 'ma'am' from others. After one person addresses him as the wrong gender, he becomes so angry he punches his image in the mirror. He discovers the joys of being a regular guy at a strip club and transitioning at his high-powered legal job. Unfortunately, Khosla's prose feels too much like a legal brief. Narrating a breakup with a girlfriend, he writes: 'The incompatibilities that lay between us when we first began dating had resurfaced.' A major falling out with his mother late in the book is likewise flat. Also, Khosla's abrasive personality makes it hard for the reader to sympathize with him. However, he does a good job of letting the reader inside his inner landscape as he grows comfortable in his own skin." Publishers Weekly (Copyright Reed Business Information, Inc.)

Born a female, the author discusses openly and honestly what it has been like to live first as a woman and now as a man. He shows that experiencing life as both genders leads to the realization that spiritual consequences are far more important than political ones.

Dhillon Khosla has served as a staff attorney to both state and federal judges for the past ten years and has lectured on complex areas of criminal law.