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This title in other editions

With or Without You: A Memoir

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With or Without You: A Memoir Cover

 

Synopses & Reviews

Publisher Comments:

A haunting, unforgettable mother-daughter story for a new generation — the debut of a blazing new lyrical voice.

Domenica Ruta grew up in a working-class, unforgiving Italian town north of Boston where in the seventeenth century women were hanged as witches. Her mother, Kathi, a notorious figure in this hardscrabble place, was a drug addict and sometime dealer whose life swung between welfare and riches, whose highbrow taste was at odds with her base appetites. And yet she managed, despite the chaos she created, to instill in her daughter the idea that art — via a classic film or a classical education — could transcend this life of undying grudges, self-inflicted misfortune, and the crooked moral code that Kathi and her cohorts lived by. With or Without You is the story of Domenica’s unconventional coming of age — a darkly hilarious chronicle of a misfit ’90s childhood and the necessary and painful act of breaking away, and of overcoming her own addictions and demons in the process. In a brilliant stylistic feat, Domenica Ruta has written a powerful, inspiring, compulsively readable, and finally redemptive story about loving and leaving.

Review:

"Life under an erratic single mom, first on welfare, then a millionaire, in the 1980s proved a wearying contest for survival of the fittest as recounted in this valiant, bittersweet debut by Danvers, Mass., native Ruta. Five feet tall and Italian American, with a loud gutter-mouth, copious breasts, and bleached blond hair, Kathi aka Mum lived from one menial job to the next that kept her comfortably supplied with pain killers she happily shared with her only daughter while concocting conflicting plans for her including school scholarships and early pregnancy. Ruta lived in the basement of her grandfather's house on Massachusetts's North Shore, surrounded by her mother's other Italian American relatives ('a band of lunatics' who enjoyed a 'thuggish, moronic code of honor'), as she learned from hard experience to endure her mother's overbearing solicitude, such as when her mother sent 13-year-old Ruta to Catholic school on picture day dolled up like a trollop or traipsing through the most exclusive New England boarding schools seeking admittance. In fact, Kathi's hare-brained scheme worked, and Ruta was admitted to Phillips Academy Andover, where, to her mother's delight, her decidedly square daughter could finally catch up on sex and drugs. Fueled by profits from taking over her second husband's livery business, Kathi delved hard into heroin and other drugs, providing a titanic model for her daughter both to emulate and overcome. Survival required separation, and Ruta's account is a fairly dry, restrained chronicle of a wrenching embrace of health and sobriety. (Mar.)" Publishers Weekly Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved.

Review:

“Freakishly brilliant, brilliantly freakish, this is one of the best memoirs I have ever read. Domenica Ruta has done something every artist with a failed family must do: She has created herself.” Gary Shteyngart

Review:

“ ‘Make it new,’ Ezra Pound directed, and Domenica Ruta has. Difficult childhoods are plentiful; the talent to transform adversity into art is in short supply. Unflinching in its regard, forgiving in its humor, With or Without You is that rare thing, a story you think you know transformed into one you have to read to the end.” Kathryn Harrison

Review:

“In the world of memoir, Mary Karr’s and Geoffrey Wolff’s exceptional books burn and brighten, like actual stars among strings of tinsel. With or Without You is like that. I will read whatever Domenica Ruta writes.” Amy Bloom

Review:

“Too often the memoir category sacrifices good writing to the quick pulse of the storyline, but Domenica Ruta is a real and excellent writer who has language by the throat. She writes with big beauty, deep respect for language, and drives her story with huge humanism, empathy, and humor.” Gabrielle Hamilton, New York Times bestselling author of Blood, Bones & Butter

About the Author

Domenica Ruta was born and raised in Danvers, Massachusetts. She is a graduate of Oberlin College and holds an MFA from the Michener Center for Writers at the University of Texas at Austin. She was a finalist for the Keene Prize for Literature and has been awarded residencies at Yaddo, the MacDowell Colony, the Blue Mountain Center, Jentel, and Hedgebrook.

What Our Readers Are Saying

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Average customer rating based on 1 comment:

McGuffy Ann, March 26, 2013 (view all comments by McGuffy Ann)
Domenica Ruta grew up poor, in an Italian blue collar area near Boston. The area had the frightening history of involvement during the Salem Witch Trials. It was difficult then, and remained difficult in Domenica’s time.

Domenica’s mother was a drug addict and dealer, whose life rose and fell with her addictions. Yet, she remained true to her daughter, giving her a love and respect for art, in all its forms.

This memoir is of a young woman coming of age during a time of changes in her world, and the world at large. It chronicles her relationship with her mother, and breaking away from her learned behaviours to find herself. This is a very powerful
book of strength, bravery, and love.
Was this comment helpful? | Yes | No

Product Details

ISBN:
9780812993240
Subtitle:
A Memoir
Author:
Ruta, Domenica
Publisher:
Spiegel & Grau
Subject:
Self-Help : General
Publication Date:
20130226
Binding:
Hardback
Language:
English
Pages:
224
Dimensions:
9.5 x 6.4 x 0.93 in 1.0563 lb

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Related Subjects

Biography » General
Biography » Literary
Biography » Women
Featured Titles » Biography
Featured Titles » Staff Favorites
Health and Self-Help » Child Care and Parenting » Mothering
Health and Self-Help » Recovery and Addiction » General
Health and Self-Help » Self-Help » General
Health and Self-Help » Self-Help » Memoirs

With or Without You: A Memoir New Hardcover
0 stars - 0 reviews
$25.00 In Stock
Product details 224 pages Spiegel & Grau - English 9780812993240 Reviews:
"Publishers Weekly Review" by , "Life under an erratic single mom, first on welfare, then a millionaire, in the 1980s proved a wearying contest for survival of the fittest as recounted in this valiant, bittersweet debut by Danvers, Mass., native Ruta. Five feet tall and Italian American, with a loud gutter-mouth, copious breasts, and bleached blond hair, Kathi aka Mum lived from one menial job to the next that kept her comfortably supplied with pain killers she happily shared with her only daughter while concocting conflicting plans for her including school scholarships and early pregnancy. Ruta lived in the basement of her grandfather's house on Massachusetts's North Shore, surrounded by her mother's other Italian American relatives ('a band of lunatics' who enjoyed a 'thuggish, moronic code of honor'), as she learned from hard experience to endure her mother's overbearing solicitude, such as when her mother sent 13-year-old Ruta to Catholic school on picture day dolled up like a trollop or traipsing through the most exclusive New England boarding schools seeking admittance. In fact, Kathi's hare-brained scheme worked, and Ruta was admitted to Phillips Academy Andover, where, to her mother's delight, her decidedly square daughter could finally catch up on sex and drugs. Fueled by profits from taking over her second husband's livery business, Kathi delved hard into heroin and other drugs, providing a titanic model for her daughter both to emulate and overcome. Survival required separation, and Ruta's account is a fairly dry, restrained chronicle of a wrenching embrace of health and sobriety. (Mar.)" Publishers Weekly Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved.
"Review" by , “Freakishly brilliant, brilliantly freakish, this is one of the best memoirs I have ever read. Domenica Ruta has done something every artist with a failed family must do: She has created herself.”
"Review" by , “ ‘Make it new,’ Ezra Pound directed, and Domenica Ruta has. Difficult childhoods are plentiful; the talent to transform adversity into art is in short supply. Unflinching in its regard, forgiving in its humor, With or Without You is that rare thing, a story you think you know transformed into one you have to read to the end.”
"Review" by , “In the world of memoir, Mary Karr’s and Geoffrey Wolff’s exceptional books burn and brighten, like actual stars among strings of tinsel. With or Without You is like that. I will read whatever Domenica Ruta writes.”
"Review" by , “Too often the memoir category sacrifices good writing to the quick pulse of the storyline, but Domenica Ruta is a real and excellent writer who has language by the throat. She writes with big beauty, deep respect for language, and drives her story with huge humanism, empathy, and humor.”
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