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This Book Is Full of Spiders: Seriously, Dude, Don't Touch Itby David Wong
Synopses & Reviews
The New York Times bestselling novel that reads “like an episode of AMC's The Walking Dead written by Douglas Adams of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy” (Washington Post)
Originally released as an online serial where it received more than 70,000 downloads, John Dies at the End has been described as a "Horrortacular", an epic of "spectacular" horror that combines the laugh out loud humor of the best R-rated comedy, with the darkest terror of H.P. Lovecraft. The book went on to sell an additional 90,000 copies in all formats and is now a major motion picture from cult director Don Coscarelli starring Paul Giamatti.
As the sequel opens, we find our heroes, David and John, again embroiled in a series of horrifying yet mind-bogglingly ridiculous events caused primarily by their own gross incompetence. The guys find that books and movies about zombies may have triggered a zombie apocalypse, despite a complete lack of zombies in the world. As they race against the clock to protect humanity from its own paranoia, they must ask themselves, who are the real monsters? Actually, that would be the shape-shifting horrors secretly taking over the world behind the scenes that, in the end, make John and Dave kind of wish it had been zombies after all.
Hilarious, terrifying, engaging and wrenching, This Book Is Full of Spiders takes us for a wild ride with two slackers from the midwest who really have better things to do with their time than prevent the apocalypse.
“Like an episode of AMC's The Walking Dead written by Douglas Adams of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.…Imagine a mentally ill narrator describing the zombie apocalypse while drunk, and the end result is unlike any other book of the genre. Seriously, dude, touch it and read it.” Washington Post
“Kevin Smith's Clerks meets H.P. Lovecraft in this exceptional thriller….David Wong (Jason Pargin) is a fantastic author with a supernatural talent for humor. If you want a poignant, laugh-out-loud funny, disturbing, ridiculous, self-aware, socially relevant horror novel than This Book is Full of Spiders: Seriously Dude, Don't Touch It is the one and only book for you.” SF Signal
“[A] phantasmagoria of horror, humor — and even insight into the nature of paranoia, perception, and identity.” Publishers Weekly, starred review
“Violence, soy sauce and zombie survivalists abound in this clever and funny sequel to John Dies at the End (2009). One of the great things about discovering new writers, especially in the narrow range of hybrid-genre comedic novels, is realizing that they're having just as much fun making this stuff up as you are reading it. Sitting squarely with the likes of S.G. Browne and Christopher Moore, the pseudonymous Wong (Cracked editor Jason Pargin) must be pissing himself laughing at his own writing, even as he's giving fans an even funnier, tighter and justifiably insane entry in the series.…The humor here is unforced and good-naturedly gory. Anyone who enjoyed the recent films The Cabin in the Woods or Tucker & Dale vs. Evil will find themselves right at home. An upcoming (cult?) film adaptation of John Dies at the End promises to lure new readers. A joyful return to the paroxysms of laughter lurking in the American Midwest.” Kirkus
From David Wong, the writer of the cult sensation John Dies at the End, comes another terrifying and hilarious tale of almost Armageddon at the hands of two hopeless heroes.
Warning: You may have a huge, invisible spider living in your skull. THIS IS NOT A METAPHOR.
You will dismiss this as ridiculous fear-mongering. Dismissing things as ridiculous fear-mongering is, in fact, the first symptom of parasitic spider infection — the creature stimulates skepticism, in order to prevent you from seeking a cure. That's just as well, since the "cure" involves learning what a chainsaw tastes like. You can't feel the spider, because it controls your nerve endings. You won't even feel it when it breeds. And it will breed.
Just stay calm, and remember that telling you about the spider situation is not the same as having caused it. I'm just the messenger. Even if I did sort of cause it. Either way, I won't hold it against you if you're upset. I know that's just the spider talking.
About the Author
David Wong is the pseudonym of Jason Pargin, Senior Editor and columnist for humor megasite Cracked.com, and author of John Dies at the End.
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