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The Intern's Handbookby Shane Kuhn
Lightning fast with dark humor, this book will grab your attention and keep you up at night. Professional assassin John Lago has written The Intern's Handbook for novice assassins who join highly successful firms as innocuous interns so that they can get close to their targets. "You'll go to interesting places. You'll meet unique and stimulating people from all walks of life. And kill them."
John Lago is preparing to retire at the age of 25. He works for HR, Inc., a company that supplies interns for large firms. John is a professional assassin whose targets are in the upper echelons of the companies to which he's hired out. He's on his last assignment before mandatory retirement, as past age 25 it becomes less believable that one would work as an intern. He's writing a manual for newcomers to HR, Inc… "The Intern's Handbook." Very dark humor (as in so-dark-you-can't-see-your-hand-in-front-of-your-face dark) and a sizzling fast read. A friend I recommended this to said she read it in 90 minutes.
Synopses & Reviews
Interns are invisible. That’s the mantra behind HR, Inc., an elite “placement agency” that doubles as a network of assassins-for-hire, taking down high-profile executives who wouldn’t be able to remember an intern’s name if their lives depended on it.
At the ripe old age of twenty-five, John Lago is already New York City’s most successful hit man. He’s also an intern at a prestigious Manhattan law firm, clocking eighty hours a week getting coffee, answering phones, and doing all the grunt work no one else wants to do. But he isn’t trying to claw his way to the top of the corporate food chain. He was hired to assassinate one of the firm’s heavily guarded partners. His internship is the perfect cover, enabling him to gather intel and gain access in order to pull off a clean, untraceable hit.
The Intern’s Handbook is John Lago’s unofficial survival guide for new recruits at HR, Inc. (Rule #4: “Learn how to make the perfect cup of coffee: you make an exec the best coffee he’s ever had, and he will make sure you’re at his desk every morning for a repeat performance. That’s repetitive exposure, which begets access and trust. 44% of my kills came from my superior coffee-making abilities.”)
Part confessional, part how-to, the handbook chronicles John’s final assignment, a twisted thrill ride in which he is pitted against the toughest — and sexiest — adversary he’s ever faced: Alice, an FBI agent assigned to take down the same law partner he’s been assigned to kill.
"Black humor and surprise twists distinguish Kuhn's highly entertaining debut, which puts a fresh spin on the theme of the hardened criminal planning one last job. John Lago became a contract killer at age 17 for Human Resources Inc., which places its young assassins as interns at companies so they can get close to their targets. An intern is the perfect cover for a hit man, says John, because interns are invisible and expendable. Now nearly 25, John wants out of the business, but leaving isn't simple. The FBI may be on his trail, and is his comely coworker, whom he's attracted to, going to meet the same fate as his last girlfriend, or is she working for the Justice Department? John's 15 rules for the next recruit act as his memoirs, as he recalls past assignments. Not least of the charms of this likable and energetic, if amoral, character are the amusing swipes he takes at other killers in fiction and film. Agent: Hannah Brown Gordon, Foundry Literary + Media. (Apr.)" Publishers Weekly Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved.
“The Intern's Handbook is Tarantino funny and as tense as a Mexican standoff. Shane Kuhn has written a movie lover’s thriller that’s as entertaining as it is smart.” Andrew Pyper, bestselling author of The Demonologist
"The Intern's Handbook is Dexter meets Office Space — the blackest and goriest office comedy you could imagine, with an intern-slash-assassin in the starring role. Shane Kuhn’s debut thriller crackles with dark humor, pyrotechnic action scenes and twists you’ll never see coming. Just like the intern who’s getting ready to snuff you out." Lisa Lutz, New York Times bestselling author of The Spellman Files
“Being bad is seldom this good. Mercilessly entertaining.” Christopher Brookmyre, bestselling author of Where the Bodies Are Buried
“Dark, assured and utterly thrilling. Makes Grosse Pointe Blank look like Goodbye Mr. Chips.” John Niven, bestselling author of Kill Your Friends and Straight White Male
“A propulsive, well-written black comedy....Believable dialogue, a whip smart and cynical central character, clever reversals and an entertaining amount of bone-crunching violence help wrap up this nasty package with a pretty little bow. An entertaining, ferociously violent romp about a morally bankrupt killer trying to find his way home.” Kirkus Reviews
“Black humor and surprise twists distinguish Kuhn’s highly entertaining debut, which puts a fresh spin on the theme of the hardened criminal planning one last job....Not least of the charms of this likable and energetic, if amoral, character are the amusing swipes he takes at other killers in fiction and film.” Publishers Weekly
“Kuhn’s debut is a prime example of dark and mordant humor in the midst of a fast-moving, suspenseful, action-packed ride. Those who like Dexter will love John Lago.” Booklist
JOHN LAGO IS A HITMAN. HE HAS SOME RULES FOR YOU. AND HE’S ABOUT TO BREAK EVERY SINGLE ONE.
John Lago is a very bad guy. But he’s the very best at what he does. And what he does is infiltrate top-level companies and assassinate crooked executives while disguised as an intern.
Interns are invisible. That’s the secret behind HR, Inc., the elite “placement agency” that doubles as a network of assassins for hire who take down high-profile targets that wouldn’t be able to remember an intern’s name if their lives depended on it.
At the ripe old age of almost twenty-five, John Lago is already New York City’s most successful hit man. He’s also an intern at a prestigious Manhattan law firm, clocking eighty hours a week getting coffee, answering phones, and doing all the grunt work actual employees are too lazy to do. He was hired to assassinate one of the firm’s heavily guarded partners. His internship provides the perfect cover, enabling him to gather intel and gain access to pull off a clean, untraceable hit.
Part confessional, part DIY manual, The Intern’s Handbook chronicles John’s final assignment, a twisted thrill ride in which he is pitted against the toughest — and sexiest — adversary he’s ever faced: Alice, an FBI agent assigned to take down the same law partner he’s been assigned to kill.
About the Author
Shane Kuhn is a writer, director, and producer with fifteen years of experience working in the entertainment business and advertising. He is one of the original cofounders of the Slamdance Film Festival and is currently co-writing features for Paramount and Fox. He lives and works in Colorado, Los Angeles, and the Bay Area.
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