There's no bullshit in a Joe Lansdale book. There's everything a good story needs, and nothing it doesn't.

Joe pulls up the truck, says, 'Get in the back, we're going for a ride.'You know it might get a little

scary and it might get a little crazy, but you get in, because you know in the end, it's going to

be a fun ride.--Christopher Moore, New York Times Bestselling Author of A Dirty Job and Fool

In this Texas-sized thriller, Hap Collins and Leonard Pine--best friends, freelance troublemakers, and tough guys with good intentions--find themselves in the crosshairs of the Dixie Mafia.

Hap is an East Texas smart mouth with a weakness for southern women. Leonard is a gay, black veteran pining for a lost love. They're not the makings of your typical dynamic duo, but never underestimate the power of a shared affinity for stirring up trouble and causing mayhem. When an old friend asks Leonard to rescue his daughter from an abusive, no-good drug dealer, he gladly agrees and, of course, invites Hap along for the fun. Even though the dealer may be lowly, he is on the bottom rung of the Dixie Mafia, and when Hap and Leonard come calling, the Mafia feels a little payback is in order. Cars crash, shotguns blast, and people die, but Hap and Leonard come out on top. Unfortunately for them, now they're facing not only jail time but also the legendary--and lethal--Vanilla Ride, who is still out to claim the price on their heads. Full of twists and turns, gunfire and gaffes, this hilarious, rip-roaring novel will have readers turning the pages faster than a Texas tornado.

"Last seen in 2001's Captains Outrageous, Lansdale's East Texas twosome of Hap Collins and Leonard Pine, who specialize in daring jobs for hire, are in fine fettle — slightly older and wiser, still prone to down-home philosophical rants and as eager as ever to lead violence by the nose. In their seventh raucous outing, the unlikely partners — Hap's a white, horny heterosexual good ol' boy, and Leonard's a black homosexual Vietnam vet — rescue a friend's daughter from the clutches of drug dealers. Unbeknownst to our heroes, the dealers are part of the Dixie Mafia, which proceeds to send waves of assassins in retaliation, each worse than the last. Joking as they go, Hap and Leonard dispose of each with their usual brand of brutality. Then, the mafia sends its weapon of last resort, Vanilla Ride, a beautiful hit woman. Edgar-winner Lansdale's storytelling skills are as sharp as ever — bursts of action, moments of reflection and lots of shooting the breeze before trouble comes calling again. (July)" Publishers Weekly (Copyright Reed Business Information, Inc.)