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If a mountain man felt compelled to dance, how would he do it? If koala bears could talk, what would they say? And what's the right pickup line, if you're a necrophiliac? (Maybe "I'm pretty sure I'm not going to get you pregnant.")
In the throes of debates like these, we're lucky to have the learned people of McSweeney's Internet Tendency, America's best low-budget humor website, and their edifying work. From their best-looking writers comes this collection of over three hundred lists, including...
"Signs Your Unicorn Is Cheating on You."
"Errors in Communication Between My Hairdresser and Me, in the Form of What I Said and What He Heard"
"Things This City Was Built On, Besides Rock 'n' Roll"
"Things This One Girl Sitting Near Me in a Movie Theater Said Out Loud When One of the Characters Was Shown Pulling Into a Gas Station"
"Future Winners of the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest"
"Adjectives Rarely Used by Wine Tasters"
"The Collected Apologies of Lawrence H. Summers, President of Harvard"
"Exactly What I Mean When I Say My Ex-Girlfriend Kristin and I 'Wanted Different Things from Life'"
And much, much more...
Review:
"Teens will appreciate the wide-ranging social satire and find the lists entertaining and often quotable." School Library Journal
Synopsis:
This collection culls several hundred lists, compiled by their most luminous writers, from McSweeney's vast archives, and adds a good deal of new material.
McSweeney's is a small group that sells taxidermy equipment and also produces books, a literary quarterly, and The Believer, a monthly review. Based in San Francisco, McSweeney's is also home to 826 Valencia, a nonprofit educational center for Bay Area youth.
Maxine, January 6, 2007 (view all comments by Maxine)
I was wandering through Hawthorne Powells looking for something to read on the bus home. I was lured to this book by a brief comment card on the shelf. Once I picked up the book and opened it I was hooked by the title: Things I'd probably say if the Bushadministration were just a weekly tv show and I was a regular viewer. The book made the ride home more pleasant, and I didn't even mind the delays.
Was this comment helpful? | Yes | No (16 of 25 readers found this comment helpful)
Christopher Pierce, December 20, 2006 (view all comments by Christopher Pierce)
I was a little confused by the cover of the book, me being a big burly guy, and it having pastels colors and a unicorn. Then I opened it to a random page and then, ouch, this book is so funny and I laughed so hard that hurt me in places that I couldn't reach with my own hand. I couldn't put the book down. I sat ther laughing out loud in a room full of people at random unusual topics. I want to buy one for each of my friends with great senses of humor. This is the perfect bok for people who love to laugh out loud and don't take life to seriously.
Was this comment helpful? | Yes | No (18 of 29 readers found this comment helpful)
uses telekinetic powers to bend it until it snaps in two.<br><br> Actress who clawed her way to the top catches reflection in pond
Author:
John Bartlett<br><br> PUNCH LINES THAT WOULD ONLY SEEM FUNNY TO YOU AND THE GUY YOU JUST SPENT THE LAST TEN YEARS WITH IN A PIT<br><br> by Mike Sacks<br><br> “
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By the Editors of McSweeney's
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s Calling”
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Of course, you have to get the ol’
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s get serious now. The past ten years have been a hell of a ride, bro. Good times.”
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The House, It’
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The sun that time.”
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Brooklyn, It’
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WHUPASS”
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s a gas.”
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s Ü
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S BEEF BOARD AD CAMPAIGN “
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BEEF, IT’
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Right. Well, you call him and talk about it. Hey, and when you bring it up, ask him about the ‘
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McSweeney's Books
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Hallucinating for the entirety of 1999 that we were characters in a classic Beach Boys song.”
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Friendliness<br><br> Sipping a Demitasse o’
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Negotiation<br><br> Checking the Date on a Carton o’
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s’
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mashes it.<br><br> Burned-out rock star looks down at himself during out-of-body experience
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Bartlett’
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s What I Would Die 4”
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Alles, It’
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The Bong, It’
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FOR THE LESS CONFRONTATIONALLY INCLINED<br><br> by Ian Carey<br><br> Unsnapping a Purse o’
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The month we couldn’
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S FOR DINNER”
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drinks Scotch
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uses nearby backhoe to drain pond.<br><br> Woman who married for wealth rather than love looks at photo on driver’
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Back, It’
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Penis, It’
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t move because we were so weak with hunger.”
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Bigger, It’
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The Street, It’
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And, don’
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bod in shape, you know what I mean? And you learn to swim—
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s What Hits Are From”
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s Pumped Up”
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re entitled to half the royalties. Just ask him. I have my hunch, but I’
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Diplomacy<br><br> Refrigerating the Tupperware o’
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t Nothing Ta Fuck Wit’
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s Burning Down”
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McSweeney's
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refuses to go back in body “
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Of course, everybody has to go through boot camp . . .<br><br> you get checked in and you get threaded out.”
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London, It’
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s eye.”
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until we start seeing some changes around here, mister.”
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Thoughtfulness<br><br> Gently Folding a Napkin o’
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s What Another One Bites”
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m sure his legal opinion counts for a lot more. Go on, call Stanley. If you need me, I’
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The Volume, It’
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Contrition<br><br> Unzipping a Fanny Pack o’
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Disappearance<br><br> PROPOSED NICKNAMES FOR THE TODAY SHOW’
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By the Editors of McSweeney's
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Me, It’
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The Dust, It’
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s What Ain’
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2006 by McSweeney's
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ber”
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s for Leaning On”
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Wu-Tang Clan, It’
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When the kid peeked over the lip of the hole and then ran off and never came back, he almost slipped and fell in also. The look in his eyes, oh man!”
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The insects.”
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Hiding<br><br> Cleaning out a Drawer o’
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John Bartlett<br><br> “
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br><br> Aging supermodel has plaster cast made of face
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s No Sleep Till”
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When the buzzard came down and ate that dead rat’
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yeah, swim, man, you dig?”
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You don’
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#8221
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br><br> THINGS THIS CITY WAS BUILT ON BESIDES ROCK ’
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s What There’
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goes to DMV to ask for new photo.<br><br> Politician who has forsaken his grassroots values discovers potato in shape of own head
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backs over it in SUV.<br><br> Alcoholic author looks at reflection in a tumbler of Scotch
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s license
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OPENING A CAN O’
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t have to go alone. The navy has what they call the buddy system. Where you and a friend from home can join the navy together. And that’
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Mrs. Bartlett, world- renowned nag. Year: 1859. Attribution: A short play entitled Every Goddamn Weekend.”
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re getting paid all the time, you understand?”
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#8212
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br><br> EXCERPTS FROM AN ACTUAL 1970 VIETNAM-ERA NAVY-RECRUITMENT FILM TARGETING BLACK AMERICANS, NARRATED BY LOU RAWLS<br><br> by Angelo Young<br><br> “
Mountain Man Dance Moves: The McSweeney's Book of Lists
Used Trade Paper
John Warner
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$3.95
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Product details
224 pages
Vintage Books USA -
English9780307277206
Reviews:
"Review"
by School Library Journal,
"Teens will appreciate the wide-ranging social satire and find the lists entertaining and often quotable."
"Synopsis"
by Ingram,
This collection culls several hundred lists, compiled by their most luminous writers, from McSweeney's vast archives, and adds a good deal of new material.
Powell's City of Books is an independent bookstore in Portland, Oregon, that fills a whole city block with more than a million new, used, and out of print books. Shop those shelves — plus literally millions more books, DVDs, and eBooks — here at Powells.com.
