Exorcising Your Ex: How to Get Rid of the Demons of Relationships Past

Are you hurting from a recent breakup? Still pining for a guy you dated ten years ago? Here are surefire ways to demolish those demons of loves past — and still maintain your dignity and sense of humor.

This hilarious and eminently helpful collection of real-life tricks and techniques is like no other book of its kind. With cutting-edge wit. Elizabeth Kuster presents tried-and-true solutions from dozens of women who have survived the trauma of breaking up — clever (or desperate) methods for getting over guys who, for some silly reason, think they can live without you. In this book, you'll find

An exclusive equation to help you recalculate your post-breakup recovery time.
How not to make your current boyfriend pay for what your ex did to you.
What to do with the ratty bathrobe your ex left hanging in your closet.
On-target lists of movies, books, and songs appropriate for each phase.
Quick fixes, harmless revenge tactics, and much, much more!

These sassy tales from the trenches will help you get over nagging negative memories quickly, effectively, painlessly. And failing that, they'll give you a few cheap laughs.

This hilarious and eminently helpful collection of real-life tricks and techniques is like no other book of its kind. With cutting-edge wit. Elizabeth Kuster presents tried-and-true solutions from dozens of women who have survived the trauma of breaking up — clever (or desperate) methods for getting over guys who, for some silly reason, think they can live without you. In this book, you'll find

An exclusive equation to help you recalculate your post-breakup recovery time.

How not to make your current boyfriend pay for what your ex did to you.

What to do with the ratty bathrobe your ex left hanging in your closet.

On-target lists of movies, books, and songs appropriate for each phase.

Quick fixes, harmless revenge tactics, and much, much more!

These sassy tales from the trenches will help you get over nagging negative memories quickly, effectively, painlessly. And failing that, they'll give you a few cheap laughs.

Disclaimer

Introduction

Part One The First Four Months: Welcome to Hell

8 Signs That You're Suffering from a Traumatic Breakup

1. The Aftermath: An A-to-Z Guide to Post-Breakup Mood Swings

2. "When Will the Pain Stop?"

3. Surviving the First Few Weeks: Small Distractions, Quick Fixes, What Not to Do

4. Revenge: "I'll Stab Your Back, You Stab Mine"

5. Hibernation: When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough Hide in Their Bedrooms

6. The Rebound Date

7. Movies, Books, and Songs You Should Seek Out During This Phase (And Those You Should Avoid Like the Plague)

Part Two Five to Eight Months Later: You're Not Over Him Yet?

5 Signs That You Haven't Made a Clean Break

8. Self-Help Books: Should You Read Them? Avoid Them? Use Them for Firewood?

9. Some Stuff About Stuff: He's Gone, So Why's His Ratty Bathrobe Still Hanging in Your Closet?

10. Can You — Should You — Stay Friends with Your Ex?

11. What to Do When Your Ex Comes Crawling Back

12. The Dangers of Destiny: "He Called While I Was Thinking About Him. Therefore, We Are Meant to Be"

13. Movies, Books, and Songs You Should Seek Out During This Phase (And Those You Should Avoid Like the Plague)

Part Three Nine Months to One Year Later: Okay, You're Really Starting to Get Pathetic

6 Signs That You Should Run, Not Walk, to the Nearest Therapist

14. What to Do If It's Been a Really Long Time and You Still Aren't Over Him

15. Getting Involved Again: Emotional Baggage — Are You Over Your Weight Limit?

16. Movies, Books, and Songs You Should Seek Out During This Phase (And Those You Should Avoid Like the Plague)

Afterword

Acknowledgments