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The Surrendered Wife: A Practical Guide to Finding Intimacy, Passion and Peace

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The Surrendered Wife: A Practical Guide to Finding Intimacy, Passion and Peace Cover

ISBN13: 9780743204446
ISBN10: 0743204441
Condition: Standard
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Synopses & Reviews

Publisher Comments:

A New York Times bestseller, this controversial guide to improving your marriage has transformed thousands of relationships, bringing women romance, harmony, and the intimacy they crave.

Like millions of women, Laura Doyle wanted her marriage to be better. But when she tried to get her husband to be more romantic, helpful, and ambitious, he withdrew—and she was lonely and exhausted from controlling everything. Desperate to be in love with her man again, she decided to stop telling him what to do and how to do it. When Doyle surrendered control, something magical happened. The union she had always dreamed of appeared. The man who had wooed her was back.

The underlying principle of The Surrendered Wife is simple: The control women wield at work and with children must be left at the front door of any marriage. Laura Doyle’s model for matrimony shows women how they can both express their needs and have them met while also respecting their husband’s choices. When they do, they revitalize intimacy.

Compassionate and practical, The Surrendered Wife is a step-by-step guide that teaches women how to:

· Give up unnecessary control and responsibility

· Resist the temptation to criticize, belittle, or dismiss their husbands

· Trust their husbands in every aspect of marriage—from sexual to financial

· And more.

The Surrendered Wife will show you how to transform a lonely marriage into a passionate union.

Synopsis:

This controversial approach to marriage has transformed thousands of relationships, bringing women romance, harmony, and the intimacy they crave.

Like millions of women, Laura Doyle wanted her marriage to be better. But when she tried to get her husband to be more romantic, helpful, and ambitious, he withdrew — and she was lonely and exhausted from controlling everything. Desperate to be in love with her man again, she decided to stop telling him what to do and how to do it.

When Doyle surrendered control, something magical happened. The union she had always dreamed of appeared. The man who had wooed her was back.

The underlying principle of The Surrendered Wife is simple: The control women wield at work and with children must be left at the front door of any marriage. Laura Doyle's model for matrimony shows women how they can both express their needs and have them met while also respecting their husband's choices. When they do, they revitalize intimacy.

Compassionate and practical, The Surrendered Wife is a step-by-step guide that teaches women how to:

  • Give up unnecessary control and responsibility
  • Resist the temptation to criticize, belittle, or dismiss their husbands
  • Trust their husbands in every aspect of marriage — from sexual to financial

And more.

The Surrendered Wife will show you how to transform a lonely marriage into a passionate union.

Synopsis:

In this radical and controversial approach to marriage, Doyle presents "The Rules" for wives, explaining how women can enjoy a passionate sex life, peace instead of tension, and intimacy rather than alienation, by establishing a new balance of sharing, giving, and receiving with their husbands.

About the Author

Laura Doyle lectures and leads workshops about the principles of The Surrendered Wife. She lives in Costa Mesa, California, with her husband of eleven years.

Table of Contents

Contents

Introduction

Take the Quiz: How Intimate is Your Marriage?

1. Respect the Man You Married by Listening to Him

2. Give Up Control to Have More Power

3. Keep Surrendering a Secret

4. Take Care of Yourself First

5. Express Your Desires

6. Relinquish the Chore of Managing the Finances

7. Receive Graciously

8. Foster Friendships with Women

9. Resist Biting the Bait

10. Avoid Setting Up a Negative Expectation

11. Stop Reading His Mind

12. Don't Crowd the Setter

13. Abandon the Myth of Equality

14. Set Limits by Saying "I Can't"

15. Strive to Be Vulnerable

16. Admit It When You're Hurt

17. Let Your Husband Be the Children's Father

18. Listen for the Heart Message

19. Take a Feminine Approach to Sex

20. Say Yes to Sex

21. Never Eat Worms

22. Ignore the Red Herring

23. Rely on a Spiritual Connection

24. Let Him Solve Some of Your Problems

25. Be a Diplomat in the Male Culture

26. Measure Your Progress

27. Spend Your Energy Surplus on Yourself

How It Is Now

Appendix: Surrendered Circles

What Our Readers Are Saying

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Average customer rating based on 1 comment:

sentina, August 10, 2012 (view all comments by sentina)
The title sounds like it is an anti-modern woman book, but it is actually more interesting than I expected. Even if you don't agree that a wife should turn over complete control of the money to her husband, which Laura Doyle, who is actually a feminist, claims will make the marriage happy, you will appreciate hearing again some often-heard advice, such as:

You can let problems be minor inconveniences or major traumas that fire up marital conflict; it is up to you.

Say what you want calmly, with the belief that you deserve it, and without whining or demanding. Allow your husband to have his needs met, too.

Don't ask permission of your husband to do what you need to do for yourself; self-care is essential, and if you neglect it, you will not be able to give as much to your marriage.

If you find yourself impatient, angry, and bored with your husband, check to see if you have been ignoring your own needs and if you are judging him too harshly.

Respect your husband and expect the best from him; don't put him down and doubt him. Let him make some mistakes without judging, and remember that you make mistakes too. Such attitudes bring peace, joy, relief, and passion.

Don't try to control everything in the relationship and in the house; relax, let go, and trust.

Vulnerabilty replaces nagging;
Trust replaces control;
Respect replaces disrespect;
Gratitude replaces complaining;
Faith replaces doubt;
Passion and love replace distance and coldness.

I have seen a lot of the punishing, demeaning, demanding, insulting, whining, angry fights between couples who started out saying they loved each other, and I can see that the author has, too.

It really seems to me that many of her ideas are worth trying; it is certainly better than saying you can't do anything and continuing to suffer and either divorce or live on in marital misery.

You might say, well, the man should change too, but we can change only ourselves; in doing so, we open space for others to change into more of their better selves, too.

This book also contains guidelines for surrendered women discussion/growth groups, which I think could be valuable.








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Product Details

ISBN:
9780743204446
Author:
Doyle, Laura
Publisher:
Fireside Books
Location:
New York
Subject:
General
Subject:
Marriage
Subject:
Sexuality
Subject:
Love & Romance
Subject:
Conduct of life
Subject:
Control
Subject:
Wives
Subject:
Submissiveness.
Subject:
General Self-Help
Subject:
Control (psychology)
Subject:
Self-Help/Relationships
Copyright:
Edition Description:
B102
Series Volume:
1697
Publication Date:
January 2001
Binding:
TRADE PAPER
Grade Level:
General/trade
Language:
English
Pages:
288
Dimensions:
8.44 x 5.5 in 8.715 oz

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Related Subjects


Health and Self-Help » Self-Help » General
Health and Self-Help » Self-Help » Relationships
Health and Self-Help » Self-Help » Sexual Instruction
History and Social Science » Sociology » General

The Surrendered Wife: A Practical Guide to Finding Intimacy, Passion and Peace Used Trade Paper
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$6.50 In Stock
Product details 288 pages Fireside Books - English 9780743204446 Reviews:
"Synopsis" by , This controversial approach to marriage has transformed thousands of relationships, bringing women romance, harmony, and the intimacy they crave.

Like millions of women, Laura Doyle wanted her marriage to be better. But when she tried to get her husband to be more romantic, helpful, and ambitious, he withdrew — and she was lonely and exhausted from controlling everything. Desperate to be in love with her man again, she decided to stop telling him what to do and how to do it.

When Doyle surrendered control, something magical happened. The union she had always dreamed of appeared. The man who had wooed her was back.

The underlying principle of The Surrendered Wife is simple: The control women wield at work and with children must be left at the front door of any marriage. Laura Doyle's model for matrimony shows women how they can both express their needs and have them met while also respecting their husband's choices. When they do, they revitalize intimacy.

Compassionate and practical, The Surrendered Wife is a step-by-step guide that teaches women how to:

  • Give up unnecessary control and responsibility
  • Resist the temptation to criticize, belittle, or dismiss their husbands
  • Trust their husbands in every aspect of marriage — from sexual to financial

And more.

The Surrendered Wife will show you how to transform a lonely marriage into a passionate union.

"Synopsis" by , In this radical and controversial approach to marriage, Doyle presents "The Rules" for wives, explaining how women can enjoy a passionate sex life, peace instead of tension, and intimacy rather than alienation, by establishing a new balance of sharing, giving, and receiving with their husbands.
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