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Pagan Babies: And Other Catholic Memoriesby Gina Cascone
Synopses & Reviews
Gina Cascone tried to fight it. She hid under her bed, in the closet, and behind the sofa. But Gina's parents were determined to send their daughter to Catholic school. Every year is met with another challenge: the awful plaid uniform and matching beanie, the glow-in-the-dark rosary beads, the warm-up sessions for first confession, the saints on the dashboards ("Cadillacs got Jesus; Oldsmobiles got Mary"). And of course, there's the intense competition to sponsor as many underprivileged children from distant lands as possible ? what they call "pagan babies."
Making her way ? grade by grade ? through the rigors and mysteries of a Catholic education, Gina searches for answers to some vexing questions: Do nuns have legs? Can the Rosary be said in less than fifteen minutes? With her Catholic neighbors in tow ? including the do-gooder with the most pagan babies and a boy even the nuns couldn't save ? Gina looks for a way to secure her place in Heaven, but realizes she'd rather be in Limbo.
In the tradition of the bestselling Growing Up Catholic and Do Black Patent Shoes Really Reflect Up?, Pagan Babies is heartwarming humor that evokes nostalgia for the days when the biggest problem was how to get Holy Communion off the roof of your mouth.
"Gina Cascone has my vote for patron saint of humor." John R. Powers author of the bestselling Do Black Patent Leather Shoes Really Reflect Up?
"If Woody Allen and Mel Brooks got together to do a script about eight years of Catholic school, the result might be something like Pagan Babies." Minneapolis Tribune
"Delightful...funny, steeped in nostalgia, wisdom, and good humor." Sacramento Bee
As a child, Gina Cascone would hide under her bed, in the closet, and run away from her parents, hoping somehow to escape her worst fear. But she couldn't hide from the awful truth...
She had to go to Catholic school.
Do nuns have legs? Is Original Sin the "starter sin" for novices? Can the rosary be said in under fifteen minutes? These are some of the questions that vex young Gina Cascone as she makes her way, grade by grade — and prayer by prayer — through the rigors of a Catholic education. All the answers can be found in this hilarious classic of childhood foibles: the traumatic first day of school, the dorky plaid uniform complete with matching beanie, glow-in-the-dark rosary beads, first confession trauma, proper dashboard decor ("Cadillacs got Jesus; Oldsmobiles got Mary"), and the race to save the most "pagan babies," who weren't lucky enough to be born Catholic and American.
In the tradition of the bestselling "Growing Up Catholic" and "Do Black Patent Shoes Really Reflect Up?, Pagan Babies" is heartwarming humor that evokes nostalgia for the days when the biggest problem was how to get Holy Communion off the roof of your mouth.
About the Author
Gina Cascone grew up in central New Jersey and survived nine years of Catholic schooling. Her books include Pagan Babies and Mother's Little Helper. Gina lives with her husband in New York City.
Table of Contents
1. Catholic Kids Make Great Faces
2. Creatures of Habit
3. Don't Drink the Holy Water
4. Bless Me, Father, for I Am Sinning
5. Ashes and Sackcloth
6. How to Get Holy Communion off the Roof of Your Mouth
7. All Things Considered, I'd Rather Be in Limbo
8. Pagan Babies
9. Holy Propaganda
11. How Do You Know You've Been Blessed with a Baby and Other Religious Questions the Nuns Wouldn't Answer
12. The Rosary in under Fifteen Minutes
13. The Dashboard Navigator
14. Get a Piece of the Pope
15. What Do You Buy a Nun for Christmas?
16. What Did You Give Up for Lent?
17. The May Crowning
18. Sister Was Not Impressed When She Found Me Reading The Confessions of Saint Augustine
19. The Pink Slip from the Rome Office
20. The Pilgrimage
21. "Don't Forget to Say a Prayer for Me!"
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