The Hipster Handbook

Clues You Are a Hipster

1. You graduated from a liberal arts school whose football team hasn't won a game since the Reagan administration.

2. You frequently use the term "postmodern" (or its commonly used variation"PoMo") as an adjective, noun, and verb.

3. You carry a shoulder-strap messenger bag and have at one time or another worn a pair of horn-rimmed or Elvis Costello-style glasses.

4. You have refined taste and consider yourself exceptionally cultured, but have one pop vice (ElimiDATE, Quiet Riot, and Entertainment Weekly are popular ones) that helps to define you as well-rounded.

5. You have kissed someone of the same gender and often bring this up in casual conversation.

6. You spend much of your leisure time in bars and restaurants with monosyllabic names like Plant, Bound, and Shine.

7. You bought your dishes and a checkered tablecloth at a thrift shop to be kitschy, and often throw vegetarian dinner parties.

8. You have one Republican friend whom you always describe as being your "one Republican friend."

9. You enjoy complaining about gentrification even though you are responsible for it yourself.

10. Your hair looks best unwashed and you position your head on your pillow at night in a way that will really maximize your cowlicks.

11. You own records put out by Matador, DFA, Definitive Jux, Dischord, Warp, Thrill Jockey, Smells Like Records, and Drag City.

From its descriptions of hipster style now and in the past to its knowing dissection of the cool facade, The Hipster Handbook is likely to become a phenomenon as big as the classic Official Preppy Handbook — but for a very different crowd. Whether you know a hipster, are a hipster, despise the whole scene, or are an aging hipster concerned about your depreciating hipster status, you'll find this a smart, hilarious send-up of a culture that has spread across the country and around the world.

Robert Lanham is the author of the romantic series known as The Emerald Beach Trilogy which includes the works Pre-Coitus, Coitus, and Aftermath. This collection of novels was recently called “a beach towel classic” by Redbook. Robert has a great body and often drives shirtless in his Camaro. He brushes his teeth several times daily, but is nevertheless prone to cavities. He is currently the Editor of FREEwilliamsburg, which can be found online at www.freewilliamsburg.com. He lives in Brooklyn, New York and works at Foot Locker on the weekends.

About the Art Director

Bret Nicely's theories linking artistic practices with sandwich making buttressed much of the cultural output of the early 21st century. His work "Post-Structuralist Beer n' Brat" won the 2002 Turner Prize and was named a "Best One Dish Meal" by Gourmet Magazine. Bret began working with Robert Lanham through their shared interest in falafel, and in 1999 became the Chief Creative Officer at FREEwilliamsburg. He lectures widely around the world and currently lives in Brooklyn.

About the Drawer

Jeff “J-dawg” Bechtel grew up on the cruel streets of Richmond, Indiana. As a teenager, he battled an addiction to glue and took up drawing to escape the thug life. He was recently called "the greatest Drawer of his generation" by Phil Donahue. His work has appeared in Dutch, Maxim International, and Family Circus. He currently lives and works in Brooklyn.