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Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life

by Linda Martinez-Lewi

Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life Cover

Synopses & Reviews

Publisher Comments:

Combining clinical analysis with psychological profiles of famous narcissists, here is an indispensable guide to recognizing, coping with, and ultimately overcoming the destructive behavior of narcissists.

Everybody needs some healthy narcissism. But in a society obsessed with appearance, wealth, and status, it's easy for problematic narcissists to thrive. Many people who seem to "have it all" are suffering from one of the most common — and overlooked — personality disorders today: high level narcissism. Typified by an obsession with perfection, a desperate need for admiration, and a willingness to use and exploit others for personal gain, high level narcissism can spell devastation for anyone who crosses the narcissist's path.

In Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life, psychotherapist Linda Martinez-Lewi presents an in-depth and supportive plan for identifying, understanding, and dealing with high level narcissistic behavior in those close to you. Martinez-Lewi helps you to liberate yourself from draining personal relationships with narcissists, and shows how to regain a sense of peace, balance, and well-being.

Drawing on detailed profiles of famous narcissists, including Pablo Picasso, Frank Lloyd Wright, Armand Hammer, and Ayn Rand, as well as expertly rendered case studies from her private practice as a psychotherapist, Martinez-Lewi shows how to:

  • understand where narcissistic behavior comes from
  • learn to spot narcissistic traits, even in the early stages of relationships
  • realize why attempting to change a narcissist is fruitless
  • protect yourself from the narcissist's opportunism, manipulative behavior, and lack of empathy

Review:

"This book's title makes a promise it doesn't keep. Martinez-Lewi, a marriage and family therapist, devotes more space to describing what she calls the 'classic high-level narcissist': charming, manipulative, needing to maintain a facade of perfection and power. But one can't always free oneself from narcissists (at work, for instance) except emotionally, which is the focus of her advice, when she gets to it. For the first 160-odd pages, the reader is treated to a melodramatic, vitriolic and metaphor-heavy ('we have been through the forests and thickets of the inner and outer world of the narcissistic personality') outpouring of loathing for these 'impossible' people. The juiciest parts of the book describe historical figures such as Ayn Rand, Pablo Picasso and Frank Lloyd Wright as prisoners of their own narcissistic personalities. As for her plan to free oneself from narcissists, she makes it sound more like a battle plan than self-help, involving guerrilla, spy-counterspy and cat-and-mouse strategies. In the end, it amounts to being true to yourself and practicing meditation to stay grounded." Publishers Weekly (Copyright Reed Business Information, Inc.)

Review:

"Psychotherapist Martinez-Lewi combines clinical analysis with psychological profiles of famous people she believes to have been narcissists (e.g., Frank Lloyd Wright, Ayn Rand) in this valuable guide to recognizing, coping with, and overcoming narcissistic behavior....The book is written with a calm directness and achieves the author's purpose of helping readers identify and protect themselves from naively tangling with these personalities. It offers more clinical analysis and experience than does Eleanor Paysons The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists and nicely complements Nina W. Brown's Children of the Self-Absorbed. Highly recommended..." Dale Farris, Library Journal

Review:

"The author... has written a guide making it easier to recognize, cope with and ultimately overcome the destructive behavior of high-level narcissists, whether they be lovers, work colleagues, friends or parents." Tucson Citizen

Review:

"[M]ay just be the best investment you will make this year....this book is an excellent guide..." Alan Caruba, Bookviews
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About the Author

Linda Martinez-Lewi holds a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and is a licensed marriage and family therapist. She has extensive clinical training in narcissistic and borderline disorders. Dr. Martinez-Lewi has worked for many years with clients experiencing psychological problems as a result of personal and professional relationships with narcissistic personality disorders. She has clinical experience treating clients suffering from childhood trauma, anxiety disorders, and depression.
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Table of Contents

Preface

PART ONE: The Great Performer

CHAPTER ONE: At Center Stage: Outshining all the Others
CHAPTER TWO: The Image Maker: Creating a Flawless Persona

PART TWO: Behind the Perfect Mask

CHAPTER THREE: The Exploiter: Deceiving Cruelly
CHAPTER FOUR: Golden Child: Growing Up as the Very Special One
CHAPTER FIVE: The Well of Emptiness: Harboring Rage and Envy, Paranoia and Despair
CHAPTER SIX: Hardened Heart: Treating Others Without Empathy

PART THREE: The Adoring Audience

CHAPTER SEVEN: The Charmed Circle: Worshipping at the Source
CHAPTER EIGHT: The Intimate Enemy: Living in the Shadows

PART FOUR: Response to the Great Performer

CHAPTER NINE: The Rules of Engagement: Holding Your Own with a Narcissist
CHAPTER TEN: Beyond Narcissism

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What Our Readers Are Saying

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Average customer rating based on 25 comments:
Dyana Beneducci9, March 31, 2009 (view all comments by Dyana Beneducci9)
I have just been through a painful breakup with a partner I have been with for five years. I kept making excuses for Charles. As time went by in the dating and then as we became more involved, Charles became more critical and demanding. He wanted me to wait on him and insisted on perfection. When I gave him perfection, it wasn't good enough. He was always talking about himself; we never had a real conversation. I kept blaming myself. "If only I could be more understanding, etc., etc.," A friend gave me this book and I quickly realized that Charles is a narcissistic personality. I cannot change him; that I know for sure. I left him and that was a very good decision. I went to therapy and worked through my grief and anger about the loss of this dream of mine about Charles. Now, I feel freer and lighter. No more narcissists as partners. I recognize them and can deal with them when necessary.
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MelindaDurant, February 18, 2009 (view all comments by MelindaDurant)
During my residency in psychiatry I have met a variety of very bright and competent physicians. Some of them I now realize are narcissists par excellence. There is an enormous difference between being confident, highly motivated and secure about what you know and going over the top with an immense ego and an absolute sense of superiority. A few of my fellow residents---male and female---are very narcissistic. They never admit their mistakes and even blame them on others. A few don't give a damn about their patients. This book is an engaging read and gave me a deeper understanding of how the narcissist ticks and how to deal with them.
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jocelynfranks, February 13, 2009 (view all comments by jocelynfranks)
I finally got some help after many years. My mother is a narcissist. I thought that she had trouble expressing her emotions. I kept making excuses for her, thinking there was something the matter with me. I remember now that she never gave me a hug. When she did touch me, her hands were like ice as was her facial expression. Everything in the househould revolved around her. Even my father cowered when he was around her. I have grieved that I never had a mother. I have found "real family" with great friends. I now have a deeper appreciation and understanding of myself. Reading this book has been a great breakthrough. I understand my narcissistic mother and recognize many narcissists in my daily life. Highly recommended.
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Product Details

ISBN:
9781585426249
Author:
Martinez-Lewi, Linda
Publisher:
Jeremy P. Tarcher
Subject:
General
Subject:
Interpersonal Relations
Subject:
Family Relationships
Subject:
Celebrities
Subject:
Psychopathology - General
Subject:
Narcissism
Publication Date:
January 2008
Binding:
Hardcover
Grade Level:
General/trade
Language:
English
Pages:
240
Dimensions:
8.47x5.90x.92 in. .85 lbs.
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