In this thoroughly entertaining collection of acerbic put-downs, witty one-liners, blatantly honest appraisals of terrified contestants, and even catty comments on his fellow judges, American Idol’s controversial big mouth speaks on subjects as diverse as music, dance, show business, political correctness, romance, fashion, himself, and his trousers. Whether he’s telling a naïve hopeful that they sound like a kitten mewing, they look as if they’ve been dragged through a bush, or are merely pleasant, safe, and a little insipid, Cowell’s trademark comebacks are collected here for the first time. Covering the early years with insults to his family and schoolteachers, the jibes to first bosses at work, then the sharp retorts to aspiring stars on television and his critiques of the rich and famous, this book gathers his most well-known lines—and plenty of long-forgotten ones, too!