Target. Observe. Ridicule.

You run into them every day—the striped-shirt guy, the karaoke master, the dude with a pencil-thin beard, the guy who won’t shut up about his fantasy football team—characters who annoy, irritate, and incense us all. Based on the wildly popular essay on ThePhatPhree.com by Mike Polk, this book is a look inside the heads of the most infuriating douchebags on Earth.

It’s the best of ThePhatPhree.com plus more than fifty all-new, hilarious pieces written by some of your favorite writers from this site.

Everyone’s (Least) Favorite, The Striped-Shirt Guy …

I will valet tonight! I will treat the valet with contempt and make sure that he knows that I am superior to him. I will tell him, “Take it easy on the brakes, champ”! When I do not hook up with a girl at the club, I will say that the place is “full of skanks” and wait in line at another bar, only to strike out again!

Your “Cool” High School Teacher …

Here are some things I allow in my class that other teachers don’t: eating, drinking,

swearing, dancing, smoking, fighting, cell phones, Texas hold ’em, iPods, and

sex. Like my Goo Goo Dolls tee? Anyone else here down with the Dolls? No? Me

either. I’m just wearing it as a goof.

The Guy with Amazing Taste in Music …

Personally, I haven’t listened to the radio in fifteen years. If you have ever heard a band

on the radio, then I can assure you, I am not a fan. I stopped listening to American music about ten years ago.

“Very phunny.”

—Ricky Van Veen, cofounder of CollegeHumor.com

“This is a very good book. But it is clearly not as funny as anything I have written.”

—Tucker Max, author of the New York Times bestseller I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell

“I crapped my pants.”

—Robert Hamburger, author of REAL Ultimate Power: The Official Ninja Book

Combining the snarky intelligence of "The Onion" with the broad appeal of BudLite's "Real Men of Genius," this book forms a vital part of The Phat Phree'smission: Observe. Target. Ridicule.

Remember hearing about The Onion right before it took off? This is just such a moment for a new comedy collective known as The Phat Phree. Almost a million people got their first addictive taste of the Phamily's humor when their blistering profile of a Red Bull–swilling jerk in an emphatically striped shirt spread virally around the Internet. Now, with thephatphree.com regularly receiving over three million views a month and the launch of Look at My Striped Shirt!, the world is about to become a much funnier place.

The Phat Phree's genius, brilliantly evident throughout Look at My Striped Shirt!, lies in lampooning the people who plague us by adopting the typical offender's point of view. We meet such benighted souls as:

• the dismissive IT tech ("You could have fixed this yourself by typing '_ipconfig.exe' after the c-prompt. Idiot.")

• the desperate-for-validation high school teacher ("Like my Goo Goo Dolls tee? Anyone else here down with the Dolls? Me either. I was just wearing it as a goof.")

• the man in seat 18D who must get off the plane first ("I WILL get off this plane before you—maybe by as much as 30 or 45 seconds.")

Covering every arena of life, Look at My Striped Shirt! treats us to pitch-perfect re-creations of familiar figures who bewilder us with their stupidity, vapidity, or arrogance. Combining the snarky intelligence of The Onion with the broad appeal of Bud Lite's "Real Men of Genius," this book forms a vital part of The Phat Phree's mission: Observe. Target. Ridicule.

THE PHAT PHREE is a gloriously irreverent group of talented comedy writers from around the country.