Cash Out (P.S.)

“Cash Out is one of those novels that begs for more adjectives: relentless, madcap, polished, lean, vivid, warped, original, horrifying and hilarious in equal measure.”
—Marcus Sakey, author of The Two Deaths of Daniel Hayes and The Amateur

Imagine a story by Ben Mezrich (The Accidental Billionaires, 21) of staggering financial improprieties infused with Tim Dorseys (Hurricane Punch, Gator A-Go-Go) zany, over-the-top pure insanity, and you might have something somewhat resembling Cash Out, the rollicking debut novel  by Greg Bardsley. This is nonstop, mercilessly hilarious, no-holds-barred fiction for fans of  The Hangover and Office Space—an outrageous tall tale that follows one desperate, disgruntled Silicon Valley exec through a his surreal three-day scramble to cash out his stock options and leave behind his hated high-tech job before outrageous villains (and even crazier friends) completely destroy him. Do you like the wildly satirical work of Tom Perrotta, Sam Lipsyte, and Gary Shteyngart? Do the ingenious comic caper novels of Elmore Leonard leave you breathless and exhilarated?  Then get ready to Cash Out.

"In this genial but tepid first novel — a slightly madcap look at the get-rich-quick mentality of Silicon Valley circa 2008 — Dan Jordan is about to 'cash out' from his lucrative job as a speechwriter for his high-profile CEO. In three days, his stock options will net him over a million bucks; the former journalist who sold out will be able to leave the rat race and chill on the California coast with his wife and two sons. But first, he must deal with the 'two little geeks' jeopardizing his future by threatening to make public a number of incriminating documents, including 'off the record' e-mails he sent to a reporter exposing his boss as a cutthroat womanizer. If Jordan's 'misdeeds' are exposed before his options vest, he'll lose everything. And why is a strange man in a blue blazer suddenly threatening our hapless hero? People's motives generate some suspense, and Bardsley is smart about Silicon Valley culture, but the protagonist is unsympathetic. He tells himself that he's purer than the greedy, ambitious world he inhabits, but he's happy to profit from it — and he readily admits that he's as much of a scumbag as the geeks make him out to be. Most readers will root against him, and with good reason. Agent: David Hale Smith, Inkwell Management." Publishers Weekly Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved.

It's 2008. In three days, family man and Silicon Valley speechwriter Dan Jordan will see his start-up stock vest. He'll cash out with $1.1 million, turn in his frenetic Valley life in for a slower one on the beach with his wife and two children, and finally live the life he's supposed to live. Or so he thinks. Before he can collect his cash and get outta Dodge, all hell breaks loose. Dan is kidnapped by a gang of tiny IT nerds who threaten to get him fired before the options can vest, stalked by a potentially murderous corporate security muscle man, and confronted with the possible disintegration of his marriage, all while his sociopath neighbor, Crazy Larry, threatens to ruin everything. . . .

Side-splittingly funny and full of larger-than-life characters, Cash Out is like Office Space as reimagined by the creators of The Hangover—a sly caper gone outrageously, unforgettably awry.

Greg Bardsley has worked as a Silicon Valley speechwriter, a news-paper reporter, and a weekly columnist. His ghostwriting for high-profile business executives has appeared in Newsweek, USA Today, and the Financial Times. His short fiction has appeared in numerous journals and anthologies, including 3:AM magazine, Plots with Guns, Uncage Me, and Sex, Thugs, and Rock & Roll. He lives in the San Francisco Bay Area.