Signed Edition Sweepstakes

Recently Viewed clear list

Original Essays | September 18, 2014

Lin Enger: IMG Knowing vs. Knowing

On a hot July evening years ago, my Toyota Tercel overheated on a flat stretch of highway north of Cedar Rapids, Iowa. A steam geyser shot up from... Continue »

Qualifying orders ship free.
New Hardcover
Ships in 1 to 3 days
Add to Wishlist
available for shipping or prepaid pickup only
Available for In-store Pickup
in 7 to 12 days
Qty Store Section
3 Remote Warehouse Gender Studies- Mens Studies

Buddy System: Understanding Male Friendships


Buddy System: Understanding Male Friendships Cover


Synopses & Reviews

Publisher Comments:

Much has been made of the complex social arrangements that girls and women navigate, but little scholarly or popular attention has focused on what friendship means to men. Drawing on in-depth interviews with nearly 400 men, therapist and researcher Geoffrey L. Greif takes readers on a guided tour of male friendships, explaining what makes them work, why they are vital to the health of individuals and communities, and how to build the kinds of friendships that can lead to longer and happier lives. Another 120 conversations with women help map the differences in what men and women seek from friendships and what, if anything, men can learn from women's relationships.

The guiding feature of the book is Greif's typology of male friendships: he dispels the myth that men don't have friends, showing that men have must, trust, just,and rust friends. A must friend is the best friend a man absolutely must call with earthshaking news. A trust friend is liked and trusted but not necessarily held as close as a must friend. Just friends are casual acquaintances, while rust friends have a long history together and can drift in and out of each other's lives, essentially picking up where they last left off. Understanding the role each of these types of friends play across men's lives reveals fascinating developmental patterns, such as how men cope with stress and conflict and how they make and maintain friendships, and how their friends keep them active and happy.

Through the lively words of men themselves, and detailed profiles of men from their twenties to their nineties, readers may be surprised to find what friendships offer men--as well as their families and communities--and are sure to learn what makes their own relationships tick.

Table of Contents


1. How Do We Understand Men's Friendships?

2. What Do Friendship and Friend Mean?

3. So How Do Friendships Actually Work?

4. What Do Men Learn From their Fathers About Friendships?

Part II. Understanding Women's Friendships

5. Do Women Influence Men's Friendships?

6. Do Women Feel the Same Way About Friends As Do Men?

Part III. Men's Friendships across the Decades

7. Marty in His 20s: Needing Friends and Family

8. Zach in His 30s: Balancing Family, Friends, and Work

9. Al in His 40s: Continuing the Balancing Act

10. Mick in His 50s: Needing Friends More Than Ever

11. Michael in His 60s: Friendships Shaped by Early Experiences

12. Donald in His 70s: Going Strong

13. Tom in His 80s: Realizing All His Friends Are Gone

14. Fred in His 90s: Thinking Maybe It's in the Genes

Part Iv. Making and Maintaining Friendships

15. Men's Fellowship at a Saturday Morning Church Group

16. Improving Your Friendships

Appendix A. Methodology

Appendix B. Questions for Men's Groups and Classroom Discussion


Product Details

Greif, Geoffrey L.
Oxford University Press, USA
Greif, Geoffrey
null, Geoffrey
Male friendship
Men's Studies - General
Interpersonal Relations
Social Work
Gender Studies-Mens Studies
Publication Date:
Grade Level:
10 illus.
6.1 x 9.2 x 1.2 in 1.325 lb

Related Subjects

Health and Self-Help » Health and Medicine » General
Health and Self-Help » Health and Medicine » General Medicine
Health and Self-Help » Psychology » General
Health and Self-Help » Self-Help » General
History and Social Science » Gender Studies » General
History and Social Science » Gender Studies » Mens Studies
History and Social Science » Politics » United States » Politics
History and Social Science » Sociology » General
History and Social Science » World History » General
Religion » Comparative Religion » General

Buddy System: Understanding Male Friendships New Hardcover
0 stars - 0 reviews
$41.25 In Stock
Product details 320 pages Oxford University Press, USA - English 9780195326420 Reviews:
  • back to top
Follow us on...

Powell's City of Books is an independent bookstore in Portland, Oregon, that fills a whole city block with more than a million new, used, and out of print books. Shop those shelves — plus literally millions more books, DVDs, and gifts — here at