Behind the Bedroom Door: Getting It, Giving It, Loving It, Missing It

We may not admit it, but were all curious about what goes on in other peoples bedrooms. After all, we live in a world saturated with sex, which makes it tough not to wonder how we measure upand even tougher to talk about our intimate experiences honestly. In this frank, poignant collection, twenty-six acclaimed writers go Behind the Bedroom Door and lay bare the messy, mind-blowing, often hilarious encounters that make up a womans history.

By sharing their stories, authors like Susan Cheever, Hope Edelman, and Julie Powell bravely open a window on the passions, predilections and problems that we encounter between the sheets. In doing so, they reassure us that whatever we feel, whatever we do or dont do in the bedroom, were not alone.

Telling the truth about sexhow we like it, how often we get it, how it affects usisnt easy. This eye-opening anthology tells the truth about womens intimate lives, shattering some deeply entrenched myths about what goes on in the bedrooms of real women along the way: Susan Cheever upends conventional notions about women, sex, and sentiment in her essay “In Praise of One-Night Stands.”… Sex is the last thing on Lauren Slaters mind when the bestselling author and psychologist reveals a few surprising truths, even joys, about her virtually sexless marriage in “Overcome.”… Julie Powell serves up a searing chronicle of an illicit affair in “Lost in Space”; and novelist Valerie Frankel takes a decidedly lighter view in “Ouch, Youre Lying on My Hair.”

Whether youre twenty or seventy, single or perpetually coupled up, these frank, seriously sexy essays provide a deeply illuminating, ultimately comforting no-holds-barred look at our most private selves. Gutsy and provocative, they reveal a great deal about how far weve comeand how far we still have to go.

Editor Paula Derrow has worked for more than twenty years at a variety of magazines and other media, including Glamour, Harpers Bazaar, and Lifetime Television. She is the articles director at Self magazine and teaches writing workshops for MediaBistro.com. She lives in New York City.

Acknowledgments xi

Introduction: Reflections from a Late Bloomer 1

1. In praise of One-night Stands 15

Susan Cheever

2. Tomcats in Love 21

Cheryl Strayed

3. Turn Me On, Turn Me Off 35

Bella Pollen

4. Overcome 48

Lauren Slater

5. Ouch, Youre Lying On My Hair! 57

Valerie Frankel

6. Turning the Other Cheek 64

Deanna Kizis

7. Pregnant Pause 76

Pari Chang

8. Under the Influence 90

Anna Marrian

9. The Sweetest Sex I Never Had 104

Hope Edelman

10. Sexercise 126

Abby Sher

11. Look Both Ways Before Crossing 137

Meredith Maran

12. Lost in Space 151

Julie Powell

13. Out of Reach 167

Martha Southgate

14. Toys in the Bedroom 177

Suzanne Paola

15. The Overnight 188

Susanna Sonnenberg

16. Confessions of a Former Sex Geek 200

Abiola Abrams

17. Mommy Lust 211

Lori Gottlieb

18. Looking for Mr. Snickers 224

Jenny Lee

19. Procreational Sex 236

Brett Paesel

20. Do Not Enter 246

Betsy Stephens

21. My Not-So-Kinky Sex Life 261

M. P. Dunleavey

22. Fantasy Man 269

Susan Shapiro

23. Kiss Poker 278

Stephanie Dolgoff

24. The Great Pretender 292

Jane Juska

25. In the Beginning 305

Ali Liebegott

26. Sex With a (Much) Younger Man 315

Elizabeth Cohen

About the Contributors 329

About the Editor 335