How Long Does It Hurt?

How Long Does It Hurt? is the revised and updated edition of the best-selling book written by an incest survivor for future survivors. This step-by-step guide speaks directly to victims of sexual abuse—to help them come to grips with what is happening to them and overcome their feelings of isolation, confusion, and self-doubt.

PRAISE FOR THE FIRST EDITION OF HOW LONG DOES IT HURT?

"Excellent! Unique! Worthwhile! . . .Addresses an exhaustive range of issues pertinent to sexual abuse survivors and does so in a manner that is dynamic, engaging, and straightforward."

—Family Violence and Sexual Assault Bulletin

"How Long Does It Hurt? fully achieves its claim as a guide to recovering from incest and sexual abuse for teenagers, their friends, and their families and will likely fulfill the authors' wish that teens will learn that they are not alone and can successfully continue on from the pain."

—The University of Kansas, Journal of Pediatric Psychology

"The most helpful aspects of the book are the case examples and testimonials of vic tims. Especially useful are the personalized descriptions of possible reactions in self or from others and the accompanying message to have the strength and courage to find a way to recover despite the obstacles."

—Violence and Victims

Sharing the stories of teenagers who have been sexually abused, this book explains who abusers are, why they do it, how to make them stop, where to get help, what to say to friends, and what happens in court. Originally published ten years ago; the revised edition adds a chapter on internet sex crimes.
Annotation ©2004 Book News, Inc., Portland, OR (booknews.com)

"Excellent! Unique! Worthwhile! . . .Addresses an exhaustive range of issues pertinent to sexual abuse survivors and does so in a manner that is dynamic, engaging, and straightforward."

--Family Violence and Sexual Assault Bulletin

"How Long Does It Hurt? fully achieves its claim as a guide to recovering from incest and sexual abuse for teenagers, their friends, and their families and will likely fulfill the author’s wish that teens will learn that they are not alone and can successfully continue on from the pain."

--The University of Kansas, Journal of Pediatric Psychology

"The most helpful aspects of the book are the case examples and testimonials of victims. Especially useful are the personalized descriptions of possible reactions in self or from others and the accompanying message to have the strength and courage to find a way to recover despite the obstacles."

--Violence and Victims

How Long Does It Hurt?is the revised and updated edition of the best-selling book written by an incest survivor for future survivors. This step-by-step guide speaks directly to victims of sexual abuse¾to help them come to grips with what is happening to them and overcome their feelings of isolation, confusion, and self-doubt.

CYNTHIA L. MATHER is a survivor of sexual abuse and incest, and speaks at schools, colleges, and churches across the country about child and teenage sexual abuse treatment and prevention.

KRISTINA E. DEBYE, L.C.S.W.C., A.C.S.W., D.C.S.W., is coordinator of the nationally acclaimed Baltimore County Sexual Abuse Treatment Program and maintains a private practice in Maryland.

Thank You.

Foreword.

Preface to the First Edition.

Preface to the Revised Edition.

PART ONE:The Hurting Begins.

1. You’re Not Alone.

2. Is What Happened Really Abuse?

3. Internet Sex Crimes.

PART TWO:Blowing the Whistle.

4. Telling.

5. What Will People Say?

6. What’s Happening to Me?

7. Living with Your Family After You Tell.

8. Going to Court.

PART THREE:Forward Motion.

9. Healing Is a Choice.

10. Respecting How You Survived.

11. Making Way for Your Future.

12. Forgiving: Will You or Won’t You?

13. Sex: What It Is, What It Isn’t.

PART FOUR:Things to Know.

14. What You Should Know About Offenders.

15. What Friends of Victims Should Know.

16. What Some Survivors Would Like You to Know.

Notes.

Bibliography.

Index.

The Authors.