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Violent No More: Helping Men End Domestic Abuse

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Violent No More: Helping Men End Domestic Abuse Cover

 

Synopses & Reviews

Publisher Comments:

Violent No More is for men who have struggled with or are currently being violent in an intimate relationship. Filled with real stories of men who have harmed the ones they love and found the courage to change, this highly acclaimed book has helped thousands acknowledge and reform their abusive behavior. Author Michael Paymar doesn't sidestep the unpleasant reality of domestic violence—included here are the sometimes shocking first-person accounts of violent men, along with those of battered women. More importantly, many of these stories illustrate the ways in which men were able to stop their use of violence and control. This edition contains four new chapters which address the challenges faced by practitioners who work with domestic violence offenders or victims, and the particular struggles faced by combat veterans returning from war, many of whom come home with PTSD and other mental health issues. With group exercises and individual goal-setting plans to help men find healthy ways of responding to conflict, change the cultural conditioning that condones violence, and avoid reverting to old patterns, Violent No More is an essential guide for men dealing with violence issues, as well as for the professionals who assist in their efforts to improve.

Synopsis:

Violent No More holds out a hand to men who are concerned about their hurtful behaviors and want to change by offering them the support they need to guide them down the path to recovery. Author Michael Paymar includes the sometimes shocking first-person stories of violent men — and of battered women along with several stories illustrating the ways in which many men were able to stop their use of violent and controlling behavior.

Violent No More is also a helpful guide for practitioners who work with changing men, including four new chapters dealing with challenges that practitioners face. It offers exercises and insights to help men examine their beliefs about violence and find healthy ways of responding to conflict, change the cultural conditioning that condones violence, and avoid reverting back to old patterns once they have embarked on the journey to nonviolence.

About the Author

Michael Paymar has lectured and trained, both nationally and internationally, on human rights and ending gender-based violence. He provides training and technical assistance to professionals in the criminal and civil justice system, law enforcement, and the military on how to end domestic violence. Paymar lives in Minneapolis, MN, where he serves in the U.S. House of Representatives. Anne Ganley lives in Seattle, WA.

Table of Contents

Foreword

Preface

Acknowledgments

Introduction

Why Write a Book for Men Who Batter?

A Note to the Reader

Chapter 1: A Challenge for Men

Andys Story

Andys Story Five Years Later

The First Step: Owning the Problem

The Next Step: Getting Help

How to Use This Book

Chapter 2: The Roots of Mens Violence against Women

The Superman Myth

How Our Culture Encourages Violence

The Struggle for Equality

What Men Expect from Relationships

Chapter 3: The Origins of Abuse and Sexual Violence

Cassies Story

Bernices Story

Women and Violence

The Violence We Learn at Home

The Violence We Learn from Society

Why We Use Violence

Sexual Violence

The Impact of Violence on Sexual Relationships

Chapter 4: Its More Than Just Physical Violence

Jims Story

Using Intimidation to Control

Using Threats

Blocking Her Freedom to Decide

Using the Children to Get to Her

The Pain of Emotional Abuse

Understanding and Stopping Battering

Chapter 5: Getting Past Denial

Sids Story

Taking Responsibility

Minimizing Violence

Self-Defense or Retaliation?

Guidelines for Remaining Nonviolent

Letting Go of Blame

Alcohol, Drugs, and Violence

Anger

Chapter 6: Making Changes and Staying on Track

Marks Story

Letting Go

Taking Time-Outs

Time-Out Rules

Self-Talk: Learning to Think Positively

Handling Jealousy

The Danger of Obsession

Chapter 7: Staying Together

What Traps a Woman in an Abusive Relationship?

The Switzers Story

It May Always Be a Struggle

Understanding and Accepting Womens Anger

Changing the Mind-Set

Getting Your Needs Met without Being Abusive

Chapter 8: Resolving Conflicts, Strengthening Relationships

Elliots Story

New Relationships, Old Problems

Egalitarian Relationships

Sharing the Load

The Issue of Money

Expressing Feelings

Learning to Negotiate and Compromise

Negotiation Guide

Fair Discussion Guide

Developing a Personal Responsibility Program

Chapter 9: Healing

Daves Story

Daves Story Five Years Later

Support for Changing Men

New Definitions of Masculinity

Health and Balance 1

Dating: How Much of the Past Do We Reveal?

Talking to Your Children about Your Violence

Staying on Course: Your Lifelong Commitment

Chapter 10: Veterans Coming Home

Hectors Story

Screening for Mental Health Problems

Veterans Courts

Changing Military Culture

Chapter 11: Creating Change in Groups

Rons Story

Expectations of Counseling

The Theory and Practice of Offender Programs

The Duluth Curriculum: New Approaches

How Well Does Counseling Work?

The Principles of an Offender Program

Intake, Orientation and Screening

Partner Orientation and Safety Procedures

Controversies in the Field

Research: What Do We Know?

Women that Use Violence in Relationships

Chapter 12: Danger and Lethality

Dales Story from Prison

Assessment Tools

Chapter 13: Primary Prevention: The New Frontier

Stopping Rape on College Campuses

Reducing Demand for Violent Pornography

Trafficking: Choices for Men

Backlash: The War on Women

Social Change

Product Details

ISBN:
9780897936651
Author:
Paymar, Michael
Publisher:
Hunter House Publishers
Author:
Ganley, Anne
Subject:
Self-Help : General
Edition Description:
Third Edition
Publication Date:
20141231
Binding:
TRADE PAPER
Language:
English
Pages:
336
Dimensions:
8.5 x 5.5 in

Related Subjects

Health and Self-Help » Psychology » General
Health and Self-Help » Psychology » Schizophrenia and Psychotic Disorders
Health and Self-Help » Self-Help » General
History and Social Science » Gender Studies » Mens Studies

Violent No More: Helping Men End Domestic Abuse New Trade Paper
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Product details 336 pages Hunter House Publishers - English 9780897936651 Reviews:
"Synopsis" by ,
Violent No More holds out a hand to men who are concerned about their hurtful behaviors and want to change by offering them the support they need to guide them down the path to recovery. Author Michael Paymar includes the sometimes shocking first-person stories of violent men — and of battered women along with several stories illustrating the ways in which many men were able to stop their use of violent and controlling behavior.

Violent No More is also a helpful guide for practitioners who work with changing men, including four new chapters dealing with challenges that practitioners face. It offers exercises and insights to help men examine their beliefs about violence and find healthy ways of responding to conflict, change the cultural conditioning that condones violence, and avoid reverting back to old patterns once they have embarked on the journey to nonviolence.

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