Eric Schaeffer has always believed that when the time was right and he was ready that he would find the Big One (an intelligent, sexy, loving wife). But his last girlfriend said no to his proposal, and since then he hasn't met anyone he wanted to have a second date with. This is a wild, sometimes raunchy, sometimes poignant, and always honest account of a semi-famous man's attempts at love.

Like all relatively smart, funny, attractive men, Eric Schaeffer always believed that when he was ready, he could land the Big One: an intelligent, sexy, loving wife. But his last girlfriend left him on his knee with a ring in his hands. Since then, he can't even meet someone he wants to have a second date with. This is a wild, sometimes raunchy, sometimes poignant, and always honest account of a semi-famous man's attempts at love. Ranging from his first schoolboy failure to impress the pretty girl in class to his doomed relationship with movie star Molly Ringwald and his breakup with the woman who left him for Conan O'Brien, Schaeffer reveals the fragile side of a bachelor's psyche. But when he recounts his plot to rig the ranking system of an online dating site, his dalliances with sex workers, his sports obsessions, and his drug-food-and-sex binges, he reveals the baser side of the single male. In the end, after all the laughter and pain, Schaeffer, still somewhat incredulous about his bachelor status, hopes that his current girlfriend just might be the one. Great counterprogramming during the wedding season and a book that single men, single women, and anyone who's been out there in the strange world of dating will love.