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The Need to Please: Mindfulness Skills to Gain Freedom from People Pleasing and Approval Seekingby Micki Fine
Synopses & Reviews
How can you handle the narcissistic people in your life? They're frustrating (and maybe even intimidating) to deal with. You might need to interact with some of them in social or professional settings, and you might even love one-so sometimes it just doesn't work to simply ignore them. You need to find a way of communicating effectively with narcissists, getting your point across and meeting your needs while side-stepping unproductive power struggles and senseless arguments. Disarming the Narcissist offers a host of effective strategies for dealing effectively with someone who is at the center of his or her own universe.
Disarming the Narcissist will show you how to move past the narcissist's defenses using compassionate, empathetic communication. You'll learn how narcissists view the world, how to navigate their coping styles, and why, oftentimes, it's sad and lonely being a narcissist. By learning to anticipate and avoid certain hot-button issues, you'll be able to relate to narcissists without triggering aggression. By validating some common narcissistic concerns, you'll find out how to be heard in conversation with a narcissist. Finally, you'll learn how to set limits with your narcissist and when it's time to draw the line on unacceptable behavior.
In The Need to Please, a leading mindfulness expert and psychotherapist provides compassionate, mindfulness-based techniques that will help chronic people-pleasers address and overcome their fears of failure, inappropriate self-sacrificing, loss of personal identity, and voracious need of approval.
This classic guide offering proven cognitive techniques for establishing and maintaining sense of self-worth has been revised to include a new chapter on setting and achieving personal goals.
Disarming the Narcissist is a step-by-step guide to treating and communicating with narcissists with compassion and empathy in a way that still preserves the reader's personal boundaries and sanity.
Self-esteem is essential for our survival. Without some measure of self-worth, life can be enormously painful, with many basic needs going unmet.
One of the main factors differentiating humans from other animals is the awareness of self: the ability to form an identity and then attach a value to it. In other words, you have the capacity to define who you are and then decide if you like that identity or not. The problem of self-esteem is this human capacity for judgment. Its one thing to dislike certain colors, noises, shapes, or sensations. But when you reject parts of your self, you greatly damage the psycho logical structures that literally keep you alive. Judging and rejecting your self causes enormous pain.
Since its first publication in 1987, Self-Esteem has become the first choice of therapists and savvy readers looking for a comprehensive, self-care approach to improving self-image, increasing personal power, and defining core values. More than 600,000 copies of this book have helped literally millions of readers feel better about themselves, achieve greater success, and enjoy their lives to the fullest.
You can do it, too!
Do you have a hard time saying no to others, no matter how outrageous their requests? If so, you might be a chronic people-pleaser. Unfortunately, because we live in a society that praises putting the needs of others before ourselves, it can be difficult to break this bad habit. And while thinking of others is always commendable, there is a fine line between sacrifice and senseless approval seeking.
In The Need to Please, a leading mindfulness expert and psychotherapist provides compassionate, mindfulness-based techniques that will help chronic people-pleasers like you address and overcome your fears of failure, inappropriate self-sacrificing, loss of personal identity, and voracious need of approval. In addition, you will learn to put an end to the codependent behaviors that lie at the heart of being a people-pleaser.
Change is hard—especially when it means going against years of social conditioning. But if youre ready to Just Say No,” to others demands and start saying, Yes” to your own needs, this book can help.
You can find out more about these mindfulness techniques at www.livingmindfully.org.
About the Author
Micki Fine, MEd, LPC, is the founder of Mindful Living in Houston, TX and a certified mindfulness teacher. She was awarded this credential from the University of Massachusetts Medical Center, where Jon Kabat-Zinn founded the renowned Center for Mindfulness. She holds a masters degree in counseling psychology and is licensed as a professional counselor. She has been in private psychotherapy practice since 1990, and currently teaches mindfulness in her private practice, The Jung Center, and Rice University. To find out more about Fine, visit livingmindfully.org.
Foreword writer Diana Winston is coauthor of Fully Present. Heralded by the Los Angeles Times as one of the nations best-known mindfulness teachers, she has been teaching since 1993 in a variety of settings, including hospitals, universities, corporations, non-profits, and schools.
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