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I Am America (and So Can You!)by Stephen Colbert
Synopses & Reviews
What The Daily Show is to evening news, The Colbert Report is to personality-driven pundit shows. Colbert brings his sarcastic charm to a half-hour report, tackling the important issues of the day and telling his guests why their opinions are just plain wrong. Stephen stands for truthiness and his American right to copyright that word and claim ownership of it.
Stephen Colbert describes his book as a simple book from a simple mind — Stephen Colbert. It is one man's attempt to wedge his brain between hardback covers. In plain conversational language, not to mention the occasional grunt and/or whistle, Stephen explains his take on the most pressing concerns of our culture: Faith, Family...Hygiene.
Why write this book now? Stephen fears America has lost its balls. He hopes to re-ballify us. Even the ladies. Ladies can have balls — lady-balls. Stephen likes to call those "Thatchers." Stephen will show how he got his mammoth swinging sack, with tales of courage and vital documents from his own life: the Mother's Day card he made at age six, disputed credit card bills, putt-putt score cards — all the major milestones.
The book will be cleverly designed to be a high status, uber-important collector's item with first editions including a Christmas DVD of "Stephen and Friends" singing original Christmas tunes. Don't buy this book if you don't have any balls! But if you do buy it, you will get them, and then you can buy another copy with a clean conscience.
"Realizing that 'it takes more than thirty minutes a night to fix everything that's destroying America,' Colbert bravely takes on the forces aligned to destroy our country — 'whether they be terrorists, environmentalists, or Kashi brand breakfast cereals.' His various targets include nature ('I've never trusted the sea. What's it hiding under there?'), the Hollywood Blacklist ('I would have named enough names to fill the Moscow phone book'), and atheists ('Imagine going through life completely duped into thinking that there's no invisible, omniscient higher power guiding every action on Earth. It's just so arbitrary!'). Colbert also provides helpful illustrations and charts ('Things That Are Trying to Turn Me Gay'), a complete transcript of his infamous speech at the 2006 White House Correspondents' Dinner, and a special 'Holiday' DVD, all of which add up to a book that is sure to be a bestseller and match the success of Colbert's former Daily Show boss Jon Stewart's America (The Book)." Publishers Weekly (Starred Review) (Copyright Reed Business Information, Inc.)
"What is truth? Does it come from inside us or from the known world? Some argue that truth is knowledge based on data and facts. Others, Stephen Colbert for one, suggest — nay, declaim — that facts themselves dangerously undermine the truth, especially the American Truth. 'Today,' as Colbert explains in his new book, 'Lady Liberty is under attack from the cable... Washington Post Book Review (read the entire Washington Post review) channels, the Internet blogs, and the Hollywood celebritocracy, out there spewing 'facts' like so many locusts descending on America's crop of ripe, tender values.' There's a word for Colbert's sort of truth, and Colbert invented it: Truthiness, 'truth that comes from the gut, not books.' 'I Am America (And So Can You!)' is full of it. As he explains so effectively in his introduction, this book is 'not just some collection of reasoned arguments supported by facts. That's the coward's way out.' Instead, it's a primer on what to believe about American families, religion, sports, homosexuality (well, not American homosexuality — liberal homosexuality), immigration and many other aspects of our great country. He helpfully provides stickers for loyal readers to mark the truest statements with the appropriate response: 'Brave Words,' for example, or 'I Think It, Stephen Says It' or 'It's Morning in Colbert-ica.' Also, there's a useful sign to post in your window urging firefighters to rescue the book in case of emergency. Here are some of the truths that Stephen Colbert holds to be self-evident: The elderly are 'year-hoggers,' atheists are 'no-goodnik no-Godniks' and academics are 'Aca-demons.' Women who work outside the home 'might as well bring coconut arsenic squares to the school bake sale.' (Guilty!) And, most obviously, immigration can be stopped with a 2,000-mile wall along our southern border. 'I'm talking,' Colbert says, 'about something that can be seen from space, with double-wall construction, machine-gun nests and a flaming moat loaded with fireproof crocodiles.' Bold statements all, but what is actually true here? Although Colbert promises that this book is 'a runaway train to Cold, Hard Realityville,' not a single fact in here could be verified. (Full disclosure: I didn't attempt to verify a single fact.) For instance, can it possibly be true that cows at a factory farm — 'America's most succulent industry' — 'can go from mooing to stewing in under ninety seconds'? And is 'the official win-loss record of the Judeo-Christian God' really 'God: 12, Not-God: 0, Democrats: -1'? So the Democrats lost Vietnam, but surely God could have won the war for America if He'd wanted to. Nonetheless, the book does provide moments of insight. His simple explanation of reverse discrimination, 'so-called because it goes in the opposite way of how we naturally discriminate,' illuminates the affirmative action debate. The many quizzes that dot the text are similarly informative. In one, Colbert helps readers determine their social class. If what keeps you up at night is the 'growing suspicion you've been duped,' you belong to the middle class. If your retirement activities include diabetes, you cling to the bottom rung of the economic ladder. And if you don't wear shoes because you recently 'had the yard leathered,' you are a contented member of the upper class. Yet, none of 'I Am America' rings as uncomfortably true as Colbert's blistering speech at the 2006 White House Correspondents' Dinner, which is reprinted as an appendix here. While the humor in the book at times feels blunted and overly general, at the dinner he had a specific target: President Bush sitting just a few feet away from him and the journalists and politicians in the tables before him. 'We're not members of the Factinista,' he told the president. 'We go straight from the gut, right sir?' Those low poll numbers 'are just a collection of statistics that reflect what people are thinking in 'reality.' And reality has a well-known liberal bias.' When he was done, 'you could hear a pin drop,' Colbert writes. 'Or a sphincter clamp.' Reading it now, you also can get a sense of the political convictions behind the comedian, the convictions that sharpened his jokes and that emboldened him to make them at such a historically cozy event. Funny as 'I Am America' is, it lacks that critical force." Reviewed by Rachel Hartigan Shea, who is a senior editor at The Washington Post Book World, Washington Post Book World (Copyright 2006 Washington Post Book World Service/Washington Post Writers Group)
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"The fabulously fatuous father of 'truthiness' and other neocon mantras expands his media icon with the obligatory book — and, read in the proper spirit, it's a lot of fun....
"This book...is wicked funny, but Colbert's performance is what makes the show soar....
I Am America (and So Can You) is Stephen Colbert's attempt to wedge his brain between hardback covers. In plain conversational language, not to mention the occasional grunt and/or whistle, Stephen explains his take on the most pressing concerns of our culture: Faith, Family, Politics...Hygiene.
Congratulations--just by looking at this webpage, you became 25% more patriotic.
From Stephen Colbert, the host of television's highest-rated punditry show The Colbert Report, comes the book to fill the other 23¿ hours of your day. I Am America (And So Can You!) contains all of the opinions that Stephen doesn't have time to shoehorn into his nightly broadcast.
Dictated directly into a microcassette recorder over a three-day weekend, this book contains Stephen's most deeply held knee-jerk beliefs on The American Family, Race, Religion, Sex, Sports, and many more topics, conveniently arranged in chapter form.
Always controversial and outspoken, Stephen addresses why
You may not agree with everything Stephen says, but at the very least, you'll understand that your differing opinion is wrong.
I Am America (And So Can You!) showcases Stephen Colbert at his most eloquent and impassioned. He is an unrelenting fighter for the soul of
Please buy this book before you leave the store
About the Author
Stephen Colbert was The Daily Show's longest-running and most diverse correspondent. In addition to his role as Senior Political Correspondent he was one of the hosts of "Even Stephven," a point-counterpoint assault featuring co-correspondent Steve Carell, and the host of "This Week in God," in which he reported on all things theological with the assistance of the "God Machine."
His personality, insight and overall rightness could only lead to The Colbert Report, a half-hour nightly platform for him to give his take on the issues of the day, and, more importantly, to tell you why everyone else's take is just plain wrong. The show has been hugely successful.
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