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Jewish as a Second Language

Jewish as a Second Language Cover

 

Synopses & Reviews

Publisher Comments:

Now bigger, better, and with more guilt: a completely revised, updated, and expanded second edition (would it hurt to have a little more?) of Jewish as a Second Language, the hilarious field guide to Jewish language and culture.

Written to help her Gentile husband and others like him who fall for believing a Jewish mother-in-law when she says, "Don't bother driving me, I'll take a cab," Jewish as a Second Language shows how to be one of the family--how to worry, how to interrupt, how to change your hotel room. It's not Yiddish. Though non-Jews can endear themselves by learning how to mis-use words like schmendrick and schmatta--providing both laughs and confirmation of Jewish superiority--this Jewish language is about the complex twists and somersaults of everyday speech, of unexpected nuances, hidden meanings, and swampy thickets of behavior, of wins, losses, and draws in competitions you never knew you entered. It's about the most common OAQs (obsessive anal questions): "This mole looks okay, doesn't it?" "Can Saltines go bad?" "They'll de-ice the wings before takeoff, right?" The Four Basic Shrugs. Acronyms never to use again: NASCAR, STD, and MRSA (Methicillin Resistant Staphylococcus Aureus, the potentially deadly skin virus that's spread by contact, and also by talking about it casually). The things non-Jews do for fun and what Jews do: Contra dance/Contradict, Read the comics/Read the obituaries, Get your boobs done/Get your taxes done. Stuff never found in a Jewish home (trout flies, a lineoleum knife, a Lay-Z-Boy, a rottweiler) or mouth (Miracle Whip, marshmallow fluff, Bud).

So you'll sit, you'll read, you'll laugh until you're nauseous. It's a nice book.

Synopsis:

Forget Yiddish. Real Jewish is a secret language of nuance, argument, and somersaults of everyday speech; of wins, losses, and draws in competitions you had no idea you'd entered. It's everything from mastering the OAQ (Obsessive Anal Question)--"They'll de-ice the wings before takeoff right?"--to never, ever believing your mother-in-law when she says, "Don't bother driving me, I'll take a cab." Now in a revised and expanded second edition that's bigger, better, and with more guilt, this is the indispensable guide. 

Synopsis:

IT'S A NICE BOOK.

Molly Katz is Jewish and her husband is not.

  • To help him-and every other poor soul who might believe a Jewish mother-in-law's "Don't bother driving me, I'll take a cab"-here is the indispensable guide to the complex twists, unexpected nuances and hidden meanings of Jewish language and culture.

  • Not: your religion; e.g., "She's Jewish, but her husband's Not."

    Learn All the Family Secrets

    From: The Positive Insult

  • The Negative Compliment

  • The Shrugs, The Faces, The Hands

    To: The Viennese Table

  • The Buying of the Suit / The Returning of the Suit

  • The Basic Psychology of Raising a Jewish Child: "You're wonderful/You'll never be good enough," "Eat/Be thin," "Save/Spend/Earn/Give/Buy/Keep"

    The perfect gift. So you'll give.

  • About the Author

    Molly Katz, author of humorous romance novels, psychological thrillers, and magazine and newspaper articles, is also a former stand-up comedian. She enjoys dancing, cooking, and traveling to places no sane person would go.

    Table of Contents

    INTRODUCTION

    On Joining a Jewish Family: Disadvantages and Advantages

    DEVELOPING JEWISH CONVERSATIONAL SKILLS

    How to Identify a Good Conversation

    Where to Converse

    11 Ways Not to Start a Conversation with a Jewish Person

    Conversation Strategy

    Telephone Conversation

    The Quintessential Jewish Phone Conversation

    Jewish Phraseology

    Body Language

    Understanding Jewish Chitchat

    The One Phrase You'll Never Hear a Jewish Person Utter

    THE JEWISH HOME

    Decoration

    Colors

    Decorating Guidelines

    Your Jewish Kitchen

    Kitchen Equipment

    17 Items You Won't See in a Jewish Home

    Visiting Someone's Home

    How to Comment on Someone's Home

    Things You Can Count on Hearing Around the Table

    ENTERTAINMENT

    Worrying

    Vacationing

    Summer Vacations

    Sports

    Other Leisure-Time Activities

    TV Programs Jews Never Watch

    Magazines You May Not Subscribe to

    Weekend Fun

    Having People Over

    The Politics of Entertaining

    Outdoor Entertaining

    Gifts

    Gift Guidelines

    YOUR NEW JEWISH BODY

    Feeding Your New Jewish Stomach

    Caring for the Rest of Your New Jewish Body

    The Medicine Chest

    Death

    BUILDING YOUR NEW JEWISH ECONOMIC PERSPECTIVE

    Money

    The Job

    Things You Can Count on Hearing

    Occupational Logistics and Strategy

    Networking

    Consumerism

    You Won't See a Jewish Person Spend Dollar One At

    RAISING YOUR JEWISH CHILD

    Naming Your Children

    The Psychology of Child-Raising

    Education

    Your Child's Future

    When Your Child Is Ready to Marry

    Meeting the Prospective In-Laws

    The Wedding

    JOINING IN THE CUSTOMS OF YOUR NEW JEWISH FAMILY

    The Buying of the Suit

    The Returning of the Suit

    The Swimmer's Miracle

    The Collections

    Eating Out

    What to Bring to the Restaurant

    READINESS TEST

    The Test

    Product Details

    ISBN:
    9780894808852
    Author:
    Katz, Molly
    Author:
    Katz, Mollie
    Publisher:
    Workman Publishing Company
    Location:
    New York :
    Subject:
    General
    Subject:
    American wit and humor
    Subject:
    Jews
    Subject:
    Humor
    Subject:
    Jewish wit and humor
    Subject:
    Jews -- United States -- Social life and customs -- Humor.
    Subject:
    General Humor
    Subject:
    Topic - Religion
    Edition Description:
    Trade Paperback
    Series Volume:
    #96
    Publication Date:
    19910105
    Binding:
    Paperback
    Grade Level:
    General/trade
    Language:
    English
    Illustrations:
    Yes
    Pages:
    128
    Dimensions:
    8.25x5.30x.39 in. .36 lbs.

    Related Subjects

    Arts and Entertainment » Humor » General
    Arts and Entertainment » Humor » Religious

    Jewish as a Second Language
    0 stars - 0 reviews
    $ In Stock
    Product details 128 pages Workman Publishing - English 9780894808852 Reviews:
    "Synopsis" by ,
    Forget Yiddish. Real Jewish is a secret language of nuance, argument, and somersaults of everyday speech; of wins, losses, and draws in competitions you had no idea you'd entered. It's everything from mastering the OAQ (Obsessive Anal Question)--"They'll de-ice the wings before takeoff right?"--to never, ever believing your mother-in-law when she says, "Don't bother driving me, I'll take a cab." Now in a revised and expanded second edition that's bigger, better, and with more guilt, this is the indispensable guide. 

    "Synopsis" by , IT'S A NICE BOOK.

    Molly Katz is Jewish and her husband is not.

  • To help him-and every other poor soul who might believe a Jewish mother-in-law's "Don't bother driving me, I'll take a cab"-here is the indispensable guide to the complex twists, unexpected nuances and hidden meanings of Jewish language and culture.

  • Not: your religion; e.g., "She's Jewish, but her husband's Not."

    Learn All the Family Secrets

    From: The Positive Insult

  • The Negative Compliment

  • The Shrugs, The Faces, The Hands

    To: The Viennese Table

  • The Buying of the Suit / The Returning of the Suit

  • The Basic Psychology of Raising a Jewish Child: "You're wonderful/You'll never be good enough," "Eat/Be thin," "Save/Spend/Earn/Give/Buy/Keep"

    The perfect gift. So you'll give.

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