She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman

As women everywhere will attest, when it comes to understanding female sexuality, most guys know more about what's under the hood of a car than under the hood of a clitoris. And while it seems that men have struggled valiantly since the dawn of time to find ways to reliably elicit the female orgasm, rare is the guy who has the modesty to ask: "What do I do?" Ironically, the answer has always been right there on the tip of his tongue.

Welcome to the world of She Comes First, where the mystery of female satisfaction is solved and the tongue is proven mightier than the sword. According to Ian Kerner, clinical sexologist and evangelist of the female orgasm, oral sex has long been deemed an optional aspect of foreplay, but, in fact, it's coreplay — simply the best way for leading a woman through the entire process of sexual response.

Fun, informative, and easy to read, She Comes First is a virtual encyclopedia of female pleasure, detailing dozens of tried-and-true techniques for consistently satisfying a woman and illustrated step-by-step instructions to ensure success. These simple methods represent a new era in sexual intimacy, one in which the exchange of pleasure occurs on a level playing field and fulfillment is mutual.

She Comes First exuberantly offers a fresh new sexual philosophy that inspires every man to make a mantra of Rhett Butler's infamous line to Scarlett O'Hara, "You should be kissed, and often, and by someone who knows how."

"Take note, guys. This book is your secret weapon." Jane Magazine

"An entire book written strictly for the pleasure of women by a man. Hallelujah!" Playgirl

"[W]itty, well-researched....Kerner speaks to both beginners and more seasoned lovers. His candor concerning his own bout with sexual dysfunction adds a compassionate tone and credibility to this decidedly pro-female methodology." Publishers Weekly

"Required reading for all men who are dating and all women who are wondering why they're not satisfied." Cindy Chupack, writer/executive producer of Sex and the City

"You've all heard about 'lunch at the Y.' Well, this book will make it a feeding frenzy." Sue Johanson, host of Oxygen's Talk Sex

"Men, while still lame, can no longer hide behind the old excuse of ignorance when it comes to pleasuring a woman — the facts are all here in this complete guide." Dr. Drew Pinsky, co-host of Loveline

"This well-written, hands-on, fluff-free book puts the 'big penis = big orgasm' theory to rest once and for all. No man or woman should be without it." Michele Weiner-Davis, M.S.W., author of The Sex-Starved Marriage

This essential guidebook to oral sex offers a radical new philosophy for pleasuring women which promises a proven and consistent method of eliciting the ever-elusive female orgasm.

Ian Kerner, Ph.D., is the hottest, hippest sex expert of our time, appearing frequently on Today, on the radio with Howard Stern, on the pages of Cosmo, Redbook, Maxim, and Men's Health, and dispensing dating advice for LifetimeTV.com. He is the cohost of the series Love on the Rocks on the Discovery Health Channel. Also the author of She Comes First, He Comes Next, and Be Honest — You're Not That Into Him Either, he hosts a weekly radio show for Cosmo Radio on the Sirius Network. Kerner lives with his wife and child in New York City.

Introduction: Confessions of a Premature Ejaculator

Part I: The Elements of Sexual Style

1. She Comes First: The Courtesy That Counts
2. Her Clitoris: The Little Engine That Could
3. Think Outside Her Box
4. The Female Orgasm: Keep it Simple
5. The Tongue Is Mightier Than the Sword
6. Her Inner Goddess
7. Avoid Freud
8. What's in a Name?
9. Now You See It: Female Sexual Anatomy, Part 1
10. Now You Don't: Female Sexual Anatomy, Part 2
11. Avoid "G-Spotty" Logic
12. When Raindrops Keep Falling on Your Head: Female Ejaculation
13. How Wet Is Wet?
14. Aristotle and the Poetics of Arousal
15. A Synopsis of Female Sexual Response
16. Scent and Sensibility
17. We've Come a Long Way...
18. ...But Proceed with Caution
19. Eat Right
20. The Cunnilinguist Manifesto

Part II: Rules of Usage

21. A Note on the Play Process
22. Foreplay: A Lexicon of Relevant Terms
23. Introducing Coreplay
24. Form Follows Function: Getting into Position
25. A Quick Refresher of the Top Ten Hot Spots in the Clitoral Network
26. Grand Openings: the First Kiss
27. Establishing Rhythm
28. Developing Tension, Part 1
29. "Time Flies"
30. Developing Tension, Part 2
31. Escalating the Action, Part 1
32. Two's Company
33. An Interlude
34. Escalating the Action, Part 2
35. A Stitch in Time
36. Preorgasm, Part 1
37. Preorgasm, Part 2
38. Posterior Pizzazz
39. Preorgasm, Part 3
40. A Note for Those Stuck Without an Ending
41. The Female Orgasm: Expanding Your Vocabulary
42. Moreplay: She Comes Again (and Again)
43. Seamless Transitions
44. Achieving Simultaneity
45. Don't Forget Your Epilogue

PART III: Putting it All Together

46. The Substance of Style
47. Routines: A Cheat Sheet
48. Routines: Beginner to Advanced

Conclusion