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An Idiot Girl's Christmas: True Tales from the Top of the Naughty Listby Laurie Notaro
Sedaris's Holidays on Ice crossed with Carlin's When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? — Notaro's slim and satisfying volume of acerbic, witty holiday observations will have you guffawing in your eggnog.
Synopses & Reviews
ITS LAURIE NOTAROS HOLIDAY HANDBOOK.
PREPARE TO LAUGH YOUR TINSEL OFF.
Its the most wonderful-and most dreadful-season of the year, when boxes of truffles attack your thighs, drunken holiday revelers stay long past their welcome, and your grandmother has conniptions at the department store over the price of hand lotion. Welcome to Laurie Notaros Christmastime.
In ten brand-new stories and three previously published favorites, Notaro shares the sidesplitting daily disasters of the holidays, like finding herself on emergency feminine product recon at midnight on Christmas Eve; surrendering to the inevitable Horrible Gift Parade by simply asking for holiday dish towels and giant white underpants from Sears; battling the morons in line at the Seventh Circle of Hell, otherwise known as the do-it-yourself craft store; and trying to live down her reputation as the Most Unfun Christmas Party Guest Ever, due to an unfortunate misunderstanding involving a fake overdose and emergency paramedics.
So whether you find yourself at the Dull and Smart Party or the Raucous and Stupid Party this holiday season, youll always know where to find Laurie-just follow the chocolate trail over to the cheese platter. Shell be the one dialing the cops.
"Humorist Notaro (Autobiography of a Fat Bride; We Thought You'd be Prettier) takes on the standard fare of holiday horrors in this slim volume of essays, rejuvenating well-worn territory with gonzo humor and a few touches of sentiment. Notaro proffers up an ironic gift list ('Of course, I would enjoy more than anything getting some really cheap bath crystals, so I could use them when I take a shower since I don't have a bathtub') and skewers the horrors of December shopping ('a woman who had gone to high school with Mary Todd Lincoln moved up to the counter'), but also recounts some peculiar, Notaro family-specific stories, like the year the author (sort of) died and was resurrected on Christmas Eve, or the year the family ate raisin-resembling maggots with Christmas dinner. Understated emotion (tempered with sarcasm) is Notaro's secret strength, whether remembering her late grandfather's Christmas Eve walks, or taking her Nana shopping: 'She's like a toddler but one who won't respond to the store PA system calling her name unless the speaker is approximately two inches from her left, good ear.' Fans of David Sedaris's Holidays on Ice will find this worth a look." Publishers Weekly (Copyright Reed Business Information, Inc.)
Humorist Laurie Notaro, author of "The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club," returns with a collection of the most hilarious stories from the most wonderful--and dreadful--time of the year.
About the Author
Laurie Notaro loves Christmas, despite the fact that last year she was the unfortunate recipient a jar of previously owned bath salts and an XXL sweater with a snowman on it. She does not adhere to the saying “Its the thought that counts” when the thought is “If I clean it off and put a bow on it, she wont know I used this,” but she does think its funny to call out on the Holy Night, “Ho ho ho and a bottle of rum!” because it makes her mother mad. This is her fifth book.
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